Britney Spears in talks to pen a novel based on her adventures

Which concept seems more likely, a Britney Spears novel or a Justin Bieber sex doll?

OK, next question: Which concept seems more terrifying?

With both of them in the news Monday and Halloween solidly in the rear-view mirror, we're choosing to expand first on the novel, thankyouverymuch, as the other frightens us too much.

Spears, who last week saw a nasty defamation and breach of contract lawsuit against her family and conservators tossed out for lack of evidence, is reportedly in talks with a HarperCollins imprint to pen a novel based on events in her own life.

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Her rep confirmed "discussions" to the Hollywood Reporter, which first had the news.

Spears' journey from child star to international superstar to reality-TV judge, with that major meltdown somewhere in the middle, seems ample fodder for at least one book, if not a trilogy, saga or pop-culture/tabloid encyclopedia.

Snooki's "A Shore Thing," we hope this ain't. 

And about the Bieber-esque sex doll, since we presume you haven't gotten that out of your mind ...

Let's just note that it's unauthorized, inflatable and comes courtesy of a company whose "Super Star Series" also offers a Jennifer Lopez, a Paris Hilton, a Kim Kardashian, a Katy Perry, two versions of Lindsay Lohan and three Jessica Simpsons.

There's no Britney available on the company's website currently, though that was reportedly in the works back in 2008 — set to blow up right after Brit melted down.


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