The Mueller report came out Thursday, pretty much locking in late-night TV’s material for the evening and guaranteeing bursts of supportive laughter from the anti-Trump faithful convened in the audience.
On “The Tonight Show, ”Jimmy Fallon played it as centrist as he could, putting up a remake of the Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”
“I can't take more, more redactions/ I can't read those Trump infractions/ But I try, try to find/ What they hid, 'neath the lines/ I can’t get no!/ Mueller memo!,” Fallon sang.
“When I'm watching my TV/ And Wolf Blitzer's on the morning show/ Telling me the report with all this juicy information has more spots than a damn Dalmatian/ And I'm like, 'Hell no!'/ No more redactions,” he continued.
Meanwhile, over at “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert let it rip about the report and especially Atty. Gen. William P. Barr’s assertion that “there was substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency.”
“Wait,” Colbert asked, “when did feelings become a get-out-of-jail free card?”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!” wasn’t quite as scathing but the host did take his shots at “Trump’s Defense Attorney General” Barr. “I don’t know what his deal is, but he looks like if Elton John had conversion therapy,” he said.
And Kimmel had a take on an infamous comment from the report, attributed to the president: “He also said, ‘This is the worst thing that ever happened to me,’ and I assume that includes Donald Jr. being born.”
The show also included a version of “Schoolhouse Rock” that followed the actions of a superhero Sharpie-style pen called “Redaction Jackson,” whose job was “blacking out words and phrases and clauses.”
Seth Meyers took “A Closer Look” at the entire investigation on “Late Night,” mocking how the process unfolded.
“It will not surprise you to hear that even after all the new damning details in the report, the president who spent the last two weeks calling it a total and complete exoneration despite not reading it called the 400-page final report a total and complete exoneration, despite not reading it,” he said.
And over on “The Late, Late Show,” James Corden was quite surprised to see that his own smiling face wound up in a post-report video tweeted by the White House.
“I don’t know what I was expecting on Muller report Thursday. It wasn’t this,” he said. “I guess this does explain why I got an amazing job offer from Fox News today.”