Re “Putin makes Crimea seizure official,” March 19
I am an ethnic Russian. I am also a Russian speaker: When my bartender greets me, he says “Stolichnaya”? This is clearly a universal greeting.
Moreover, I work at the USC School of Medicine, which is in our motherland of North America. North and South America are well known to be important historical parts of Greater Russia, since ancient Siberians settled this territory thousands of years ago.
I am very worried that fascists will hurt me someday. Evidence: My department sometimes has faculty meetings, which are run democratically. See what I mean? If it’s not convenient to invade and occupy all of North and South America this afternoon, could Russia at least take control of the neurology offices where I work? There is a terrible danger I will continue to be controlled by noncorrupt pro-democracy extremists.
Spring seems like the perfect time for the United States to invade Cuba to protect the relatives of Cuban Americans living in Miami.
A hastily installed interim Cuban government could hold elections offering Cubans the option to become part of the United States. Voter turnout would undoubtedly run very high, and Cubans would overwhelmingly favor a long-overdue unification with the United States.
Next, with the usual quick bipartisan congressional approval, Cuban annexation could be completed before Easter recess.
The beauty is that all of this complies with international law under the provisions of self-determination.
Fox News could ease any diplomatic misunderstandings by reminding Russian President Vladimir Putin that the United States is the only country in the world capable of leveling Russia.
Palos Verdes Estates
Kosovo, yes. Scotland — judging by the lack of outcry — yes. Crimea, no.
How flexible is international law?