College football on TV: What to watch Saturday

Break out the chips and cold drinks, but let Chris Dufresne handle the remote. Each Friday, the Times’ national college football writer handicaps what’s worth watching, and skipping, on Saturday’s menu of games:

MORNING

San Diego State (3-0) at No. 22 Michigan (3-0)

9 a.m., Big Ten Network

Eggs-over-easy upset special — on wheat or rye toast. Former Aztecs and NFL loony Kyle Turley said he hopes Brady Hoke “eats crow’” for leaving San Diego State to become coach at Michigan. Hoke said crow isn’t bad if you barbecue it. It wasn’t cool that Hoke informed his players by text he was leaving for Michigan — he should have used Facebook. One of the things Hoke did in San Diego, other than turn a deadbeat program around, was book this game at Michigan. Keep eyes focused on Aztecs tailback Ronnie Hillman, a former La Habra High Highlander. He’s the nation’s No. 2 rusher, with 497 yards.

North Carolina (3-0) at No. 25 Georgia Tech (3-0)

9 a.m., ESPN

Georgia Tech averaged an NCAA-record 12.1 yards a carry in last week’s 66-24 demolition of Kansas, an eight-man NAIA program in Lawrence. No wait, a major Big 12 team from a Bowl Championship Series conference. Somewhere, John Heisman was smiling. Before they named a trophy after him, Heisman coached Georgia Tech to a 222-0 win over Cumberland in 1916. Heisman told his team at half not to let up, because no 126-0 lead is safe.

9 a.m.: Notre Dame at Pittsburgh, Channel 7; Georgia at Mississippi, KDOC; Eastern Michigan at Penn State, ESPN2; Southern Methodist at Memphis, FS West; Cornell at Yale, Versus.

9:30 a.m.: Temple at Maryland, Channel 13.

MIDDAY

No. 14 Arkansas (3-0) at No. 3 Alabama (3-0)

12:30 p.m., Channel 2

Broadcasters Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson haven’t been able to sleep all week in anticipation of this showdown between mighty Southeastern Conference West powers. Lundquist thinks a four-loss SEC West team should play for the national title over Boise State. Danielson would let Boise in over a four-loss SEC West juggernaut — but only if the West team lost its starting offense to a flu epidemic.

No. 7 Oklahoma State (3-0) at No. 8 Texas A&M (3-0)

12:30 p.m., Channel 7

OK, OK State, is it Pac-12 vs. SEC, Pac-12 vs. Big 12 or Big 12 vs. SEC? For now, it’s still Big 12 vs. Big 12. It was touch-and-go this week when it appeared Oklahoma State might be bound for the Pac-12. Texas A&M has conditionally been accepted for membership by the Southeastern Conference, but the paperwork is being held up by Baylor’s legal department. If this is the last regular-season meeting between the schools, well, it’s a good one. See you someday in the Cotton Bowl.

12:30 p.m.: Florida State at Clemson, ESPN; Colorado at Ohio State, ESPN2; California at Washington, FS West; UCLA at Oregon State, Prime; Kansas State at Miami, ESPNU; Virginia Tech at Marshall, CBSSN.

AFTERNOON

No. 15 Florida (3-0) at Kentucky (2-1)

4 p.m., ESPN

Flip over in the second quarter to check the score. If it’s close, check back late fourth quarter for a possible riot-squad scene involving inebriated students being talked down off the goal posts. Because? Kentucky has lost 24 straight to Florida.

No. 9 Nebraska (3-0) at Wyoming (3-0)

4:30 p.m., Versus

Nebraska will think it’s in a broom closet. The Cornhuskers haven’t played in a venue this small since opening for the Doors at the Whisky a Go-Go. War Memorial Stadium holds only 29,184. With Laramie’s elevation at 7,165 feet, Huskers players will be subjected to claustrophobia, altitude sickness and saddle sores.

4 p.m.: Vanderbilt at South Carolina, ESPN2; Louisiana Tech at Mississippi State, ESPNU; North Dakota State at Minnesota, BTN.

EVENING

No. 2 Louisiana State (3-0) at No. 16 West Virginia (3-0)

5 p.m., Channel 7

LSU continues its nonconference march on macho-ness with a trip to Couch Burn, W.Va. LSU has already dispatched Oregon and already plays in the SEC West, the best division in college football. Morgantown has recently made couch burning a felony and is pleading with fans to refrain from wearing obscene T-shirts in advance of ESPN “GameDay’s” first trip into Zoo-ville.

No. 23 USC (3-0) at Arizona State (2-1)

7:15 p.m, ESPN

This is going to be “chippy.” Arizona State hasn’t beaten USC since Paul Hackett was the Trojans’ coach. Quarterback Matt Barkley this week called Sun Devils linebacker Vontaze Burfict a dirty player. The teams have combined for 45 penalties. The game time over/under is four hours.

5 p.m.: Missouri at Oklahoma, FX; Tulsa at Boise State, CBSSN.

7 p.m.: Florida Atlantic at Auburn (delayed), FS West.

7:15 p.m.: Oregon at Arizona, ESPN2.

7:30 p.m.: Howard at Morgan State (delayed), ESPNU.

9 p.m.: Southern Mississippi at Virginia (delayed), Prime.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com