Q&A: Homer Simpson spills all about the Baseball Hall of Fame in exclusive interview


In anticipation of Homer Simpson’s induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame, a spokesperson for “The Simpsons” arranged for him to answer a few questions from The Times via e-mail.

Congratulations on making the Hall of Fame. What was your reaction when you found out you would be inducted into the Hall?

I celebrated with a trip to my favorite place in the world: the Football Hall of Fame.

The Albuquerque Isotopes have a statue of you in their ballpark. How do you compare the honor of Hall of Fame induction to the honor of having a life-sized, fiberglass version of you sitting permanently on a bench with your back to the game?

Being in Cooperstown for the Hall of Fame weekend is a big honor but at least in Albuquerque I don't have to pay Reggie Jackson twenty-five bucks just to ask him where the bathroom is.

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That was quite a team you had. Ken Griffey Jr., Ozzie Smith and Wade Boggs already are in the Hall of Fame. But how did you beat Roger Clemens into the Hall?

That question's pretty juicy. Just like Roger Clemens' statistics.

Darryl Strawberry took your position in right field. He had made the All-Star team eight straight years through 1991, then he played for your team in 1992 and never again made the All-Star team. What kind of curse did you put on him?

He went from the Mets to the Dodgers. That's curse enough for anybody.

Before your first game of that season, this was the first ground rule recited by the umpire: “You can’t leave first until you chug a beer. Scoring, you have to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.” If this isn’t the answer to making baseball more entertaining for the younger generation, what is?

Don't know. Too drunk to answer.

Literally your first words in the episode that documents your softball heroics are: “Mmmm, donuts.” At a time major league teams are paying more attention than ever to player nutrition and yet putting more players on the disabled list than ever, what would you advise teams to feed their players, and why?

Listen, Babe Ruth was never on the disabled list, because they didn't have one then. He ate nothing but hot dogs, steak and eggs, till he died at the grand old age of fifty-three. If only I could be that lucky.

The Hall of Fame celebrates the history of America’s national pastime. But, in an era when so many young people are entertained by staring at screens all day long, what do you believe is today’s national pastime?

Waking up every morning seeing if Florida is still above water.

Pete Rose can’t get into the Hall of Fame because he bet on his team. But Mr. Burns bet $1 million on your team winning the championship game, you guys were civic heroes, and now you’re in the Hall of Fame. Is Pete Rose an irredeemable scoundrel, and should he join you in the Hall of Fame?

I believe in letting anyone in but Flanders.

For generations of fans, eating at the ballpark was as much of a tradition as singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” You got a hot dog, peanuts or Cracker Jack, and a beer. Now teams sell salads and sushi. What is your idea of the perfect ballpark meal?

Ninety-six pounds of nachos in a garbage bag I can wear around my neck.

The Eagles had a comeback. So did vinyl records, and economic nationalism. How about your team staging a comeback?

Well, we're all older, a little heavier and slower now, but we could probably still beat the Padres.

Follow Bill Shaikin on Twitter @BillShaikin