Reporting from Augusta, Ga. — It was a hole of misses, groans, more misses, more groans and eventually, as muttering players departed for the next tee, sympathetic clapping.
If the No. 1 hole at Augusta National Golf Club could talk, it would have chuckled, perhaps using a pun to declare: “I won.”
It played the toughest of the 18 Masters holes Friday, yielding a mere three birdies and averaging 4.634 strokes.
What made it so difficult?
“You should go out there and watch it,” snapped Ernie Els, normally jovial.
I did, the reporter replied.
Suffice to say, Els made a bogey five.
William McGirt could relate. The hole was at its most brutal early Friday morning, when a chilly wind was whipping directly into the face of players. McGirt, one of just two to break 70 on Thursday, drew Friday’s first tee time, 8 a.m.
“The ball just wasn’t going anywhere; it was so cold,” he said.
McGirt hit a decent enough drive, 280 yards. It left him 167 to the hole.
That’s eight-iron distance for most pros under normal conditions. We repeat, under normal conditions.
“Hard to pull a four-iron from that distance,” McGirt said.
1/53
Sergio Garcia of Spain celebrates after winning the Masters golf tournament in a playoff on Sunday at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 2/53
Sergio Garcia is greeted by fiancee Angela Akins after winning the Masters in a playoff.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 3/53
Justin Rose, left, congratulates Sergio Garcia on the 18th green after Garcia won the Masters on the first playoff hole.
(Matt Slocum / Associated Press) 4/53
Danny Willett, left, the 2016 Masters champion, congratulates Sergio Garciaduring the green jacket ceremony at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 5/53
Sergio Garcia get help putting on the Masters champion’s green jacket by 2016 winner Danny Willett.
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 6/53
Sergio Garcia admires the winner’s trophy during the awards ceremony following his victory at the Masters.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 7/53
Sergio Garcia reacts after making an eagle putt in front of Justin Rose at No. 15e during the final round of the Master.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 8/53
Justin Rose and Sergio Garcia walk over the Hogan Bridge at No. 12 with their caddies Mark Fulcher and Glen Murray during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 9/53
Justin Rose of England reacts to a putt for birdie on the sixth hole during the final round of the Masters.
(Rob Carr / Getty Images) 10/53
Rickie Fowler reacts after a drive on the fourth hole during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 11/53
Sergio Garcia of Spain hits a drive on the fourth hole during the final round of the Masters.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 12/53
Justin Rose of England plays his shot from the third tee during the final round of the Masters.
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 13/53
Paul Casey of England plays his second shot on the first hole during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 14/53
Jordan Spieth plays his third shot from a bunker at No. 10 during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 15/53
Adam Scott of Australia hits his tee shot at No. 4 during the final round of the Masters.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 16/53
Jimmy Walker reacts to his missed birdie putt on the sixth hole during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(Charlie Riedel / Associated Press) 17/53
Sergio Garcia hits from a bunker alongside the seventh green during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(Chris Carlson / Associated Press) 18/53
Rory McIlroy of Northern Ireland lets go of his club on the follow through of his tee shot at No. 4 during the final round of the Masters tournament.
(David Goldman / Associated Press) 19/53
Justin Rose hits his tee shot at No. 2 during the final round of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 20/53
Rickie Fowler lines up his putt with caddie Joseph Skovron at No. 8 during the third round of the Masters tournament on Saturday at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 21/53
Sergio Garcia celebrates after making a birdie putt at No. 6 during the third round of the Masters tournament.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 22/53
Charley Hoffman hits his tee shot at No. 4 during the third round of the Masters tournament.
(Erik S. Lesser / EPA) 23/53
Jon Rahm reacts after missing his birdie putt on the 17th hole during the third round of the Masters.
(Chris Carlson / Associated Press) 24/53
Jordan Spieth hits his tee shot on the 12th hole during the third round of the Masters tournament.
(Charlie Riedel / Associated Press) 25/53
Justin Rose makes his club selection at the second tee box during the third round of the 2017 Masters
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 26/53
Sergio Garcia reacts to a missed putt at No. 12 during the third round of the Masters tournament.
(Charlie Riedel / Associated Press) 27/53
Ryan Moore plays a shot from a greenside bunker at No. 10 during the third round of the Masters.
(Andrew Gombert / EPA) 28/53
Fred Couples olines up a putt on the 16th green during the third round of the Masters.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 29/53
Will McGirt watches his bunker shot roll toward the hole on the 17th green during the third round of the Masters.
(Chris Carlson / Associated Press) 30/53
Sergio Garcia pitches a shot onto the 13th green during the third round of the Masters tournament.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 31/53
Jason Day on the second tee during the third round of the 2017 Masters tournament.
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 32/53
Phil Mickelson plays his second shot from a bunker at the 12th hole during the third round of the Masters.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 33/53
Rory McIlroy of Northern Ireland and Jon Rahm of Spain walk over the Hogan Bridge at No. 12 at Augusta National Golf Club during the second round.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 34/53
Jason Day of Australia plays a shot from a greenside bunker at the 16th hole during the second round of the Masters.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 35/53
Matt Kuchar and caddie John Wood head toward the second green, where the flagstick is bowed by the wind, during the second round of the Masters.
(Andrew Redington / Getty Images) 36/53
Fans get a close-up view of Charley Hoffman hitting an approach shot during the second round of the Masters tournament.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 37/53
Spain’s Rafa Cabrera Bello looks at his ball in the pine straw at the 14th hole during the second round of the Masters tournament.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 38/53
Si Woo Kim of South Korea plays his third shot at No. 15 during the second round of the Masters tournament at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 39/53
Fred Couples reacts to his birdie putt on the 13th hole during the second round of the Masters.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 40/53
Rickie Fowler plays his tee shot at No. 12 during the second round of the Masters tournament.
(Rob Carr / Getty Images) 41/53
Charley Hoffman hits a drive on the 18th hole during the first round for the Masters golf tournament.
(Chris Carlson / Associated Press) 42/53
Will McGirt hits a drive on the eighth hole during the second round of the Masters golf tournament.
(Matt Slocum / Associated Press) 43/53
Charley Hoffman looks at his approach on the 15th hole during the first round for the Masters golf tournament .
(Charlie Riedel / Associated Press) 44/53
Justin Rose of England plays his second shot on the 17th hole during the second round of the Masters tournament.
(David Cannon / Getty Images) 45/53
Charley Hoffman hits a tee shot on the 15th hole during the first round of the Masters tournament on Thursday at Augusta National Golf Club. Hoffman shot a 65 to take a four-shot lead.
(David J. Phillip / Associated Press) 46/53
Pat Perez reacts after missing a putt at No. 16 during the first round of the Masters golf tournament on Thursday.
(Matt Slocum / AP) 47/53
Augusta National Golf Club Chairman Billy Payne, right, leads a moment of silence for Arnold Palmer at the start of the Masters Tournament on Thursday.
(Curtis Compton / Associated Press) 48/53
Jason Day plays his shot from the third tee during the first round of the 2017 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Rob Carr / Getty Images) 49/53
Dustin Johnson walks off after announcing his withdrawal during the first round of the 2017 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Rob Carr / Getty Images) 50/53
Thomas Pieters of Belgium hits a shot through the trees at the 17th hole during the first round of the Masters golf tournament at Augusta National Golf Club.
(David J. Phillip / Associated Press) 51/53
Caddie Jamie Lane lines up a putt on the second green during the first round of the 2017 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club.
(Harry How / Getty Images) 52/53
Brendan Steele walks up the second fairway during the first round of the Masters golf tournament on Thursday.
(Chris Carlson / Associated Press) 53/53
American Dustin Johnson walks out of the Augusta National clubhouse after withdrawing from the Masters golf tournament because of a back injury before his afternoon tee time Thursday.
(Tannen Maury / EPA) He selected a five-iron and said he “flushed it.”
It didn’t reach the green.
“So what does that tell you?” said McGirt, who also made a bogey. “That may be one of the hardest starting holes in golf.”
A brutal opening hole doesn’t fit with the politeness of Augusta National, where approximately 19 people will say, “Good morning” or “Have a nice day” by the time you have spread jam on your toast.
Most courses, even many championship courses, have what players refer to as “a friendly start.”
Pebble Beach’s opening hole strikes no fear. St. Andrews’ opener is a tame par four of 376 yards. Arnold Palmer drove the par-four first green at Cherry Hills in the final round of the 1960 U.S. Open.
The first hole Friday was pleasant for some folks — spectators. The stands behind the green had to be the warmest spot on the golf course, offering unlimited sunshine and a bonus view of the eighth green.
But against those good vibes came Bubba Watson missing a 12-footer for par and, of course, gesticulating with his left arm to protest how the putt broke.
Venezuela’s Jhonattan Vegas left a pitch short and theatrically hit his head with the wedge.
What made the hole so hard?
Start with a long, uphill tee shot into a sloped, elevated green that was firm, fast and feisty. The pin was in the toughest of the four locations, front-left, seemingly inches from a deep bunker.
Wait, did we forget to mention the fairway bunker on the right? Danny Willett, the reigning Masters champion, won’t soon forget it. His drive settled inches to the right of the deep bunker, causing an awkward, unbalanced stance.
He shanked the shot and made a quadruple-bogey eight, missing the cut by one.
“If it goes in the bunker, it’s not too bad,” Willett said. “If it goes a foot right you can get a stance. From there it was my own fault.”
Ryan Moore managed to make par by snuggling a 50-foot putt from the back to five feet.
“It’s rare to have a putt where you can putt it off the green in two different directions,” he said. “I had one of those. … Lot of slope, lot of undulation and they put the pin just in the right spot, where you have to deal with all of it.”
Jim Furyk was in a similar spot as Moore. He chipped from the back of the green, but his ball landed on a “bump I was trying to fly. It shot right. It never had a chance.”
Furyk’s ball rolled off the green to the feet of some spectators. As he prepared to chip, a siren blared. And then came applause from the eighth green.
Mr. 59 (make that Mr. 58) looked uncomfortable. He backed off. He looked back. It was a tense scene.
“Be still back there,” warned caddie Mike (Fluff) Cowan. “Thank you.”
Furyk chipped it up but left it 18 feet short, needing two putts to walk away finally with a double bogey.
“Not the start I was looking for,” he said.
tgreenstein@chicagotribune.com
Follow Teddy Greenstein on Twitter @TeddyGreenstein
