Brash Buddy Ryan had a softer side that few saw

Many people saw Buddy Ryan as only brash and bombastic, an NFL defensive mastermind who got into a fistfight with a fellow assistant coach on the Houston Oilers sideline and allegedly put an on-field bounty on a couple of Dallas Cowboys.

But there was a completely different, far more sensitive side to Ryan, who died Tuesday at age 85.

Ryan, whose sons Rex and Rob are current NFL coaches, spent the latter years of his life caring for his wife, Joanie, who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease for several years until her death in 2013.

“She’s a saint,” Ryan told The Times in a 2005 interview at his horse ranch in Shelbyville, Ky.

“It’s a terrible disease. There are things that she does that aren’t even her.”

Ryan wanted to care for his wife at their home and did for the first two years, but eventually moved her into an assisted-living facility in Louisville, a half-hour drive from the ranch. He religiously visited her during the week and picked her up every Sunday so they could attend Mass at her favorite church. Afterward, they would have breakfast with the priest at a nearby McDonald’s. Sometimes, the couple would go to a place that sold crepe-paper flowers, and invariably leave with a vibrant bouquet for Joanie.

While the Ryan boys thought of Joanie as their second mom, their mother is Ryan’s first wife, Doris.

Buddy and Joanie met in 1968 at an apartment complex where they both lived, in Bayside, N.Y. Ryan was an assistant coach for the Jets at the time.

Decades later, Ryan had a favorite picture on his desk at the ranch. In it, he was standing next to a large mare. Joanie was kneeling beside a 2-day-old filly, a horse that Buddy later would give a special name: Bayside Girl.

Buffalo Bills Coach Rex Ryan released the following statement about his father’s death: “He was many things to many people--outstanding coach, mentor, fierce competitor, father figure, faithful friend and the list goes on. But to me and my brothers Rob and Jim, he was so much more. He was everything you want in a dad--tough when he had to be, compassionate when you didn’t necessarily expect it, and a loving teacher and confidant who cherished his family. He truly was our hero.”