On being a Green Beret: I grew up a 49ers fan, which is important to the story.... Fast-forward to graduating high school, didn’t really know what I wanted to do, what I wanted to study. Had a lot of passion but not a lot of work ethic.... Came up to Los Angeles at 19, interested in film and TV, not really knowing where to start and all that. After living here for about a year, 9/11 happened.
I didn’t join the military right away, but it got me thinking about it and thinking a little more globally, and eventually a couple of years later I ... started studying up and learned about the Army special forces, the Green Berets, and their motto was “De Oppresso Liber,” which means free the oppressed, which spoke to me in a big way, and then I read about how part of what they do is there’s a humanitarian side to the work and foreign internal defense.
[After deployment] I came back to the States [at age 29] and finished up my time on active duty, and then went — moved to Austin, got enlisted — applied to University of Texas.... I started long snapping just to find a way on to the field. It’s one of those thankless jobs people don’t really know about. I barely knew what a long snapper was when I got there, but I started practicing it. I reenlisted in the National Guard.
On making the NFL, a one-in-a-billion story: I get to play in one preseason game in 2015 before I did get cut. It did end. I ultimately failed, right.... It’s like a sell-out crowd for a preseason game, and I’m snapping balls, I look to my right, and Peyton Manning is there in his final season warming up, and that was that moment where I’m like, wow, what am I doing here.
I go in the locker room, and the equipment manager says, hey, do you want to lead the team out of the tunnel with the American flag, we know you got to do it in college and we were wondering if you want to do it for this game, and I was like, I would love that honor.
So took the flag, lead the team out of the tunnel, place is going crazy, and right before the game starts, of course the announcer says, “Would everyone please rise for the national anthem....” I put my hand on my heart and the song starts playing and all these emotions and kind of recalling my experience, and the guys that I know that didn’t make it back and the ones that are struggling back home and veteran suicide is a big issue, people that are coming back and not feeling like they fit in, all these things are like running through my head, and I just started bawling. I was like, overcome, overwhelmed.
On writing a letter to Colin Kaepernick: One year later almost to the day is when Colin started sitting on the bench during the national anthem, and when interviewed about it, he said, I’m doing this because of social injustice in this country and I’m not going to stand for the flag of a country that oppresses Black people and people of color.
From my experience, I didn’t feel that that was what the flag stood for, and for me, those symbols mean something very different, but that’s because of my relationship with them and my experiences. I don’t have a similar experience to Colin Kaepernick or any person of color for that matter.
So I wrote this open letter to Colin through the Army Times just about my experiences, how I felt, but also saying, look, this is how I feel, but that doesn’t mean this is the only way.... Also I said, Colin, I’m not going to pretend to know what it’s like to be you or what you’re feeling, and I’ve got to say that what you’re doing, it is brave. Whether I agree with it or not, it’s very courageous.... It went kind of viral, and he ended up reaching out and said that he wanted to meet, and they were playing the San Diego Chargers at the time in that final preseason game that week, and it’s Military Appreciation Night, 9/11 is approaching, and they’re going to do a flyover with Navy Seals jumping in the stadium and full honors on the field and Colin is saying, I’m not going to stand, I’m going to sit during the anthem, I’m going to sit on the bench.
So I go down there and meet him, and man, I will say he had nothing but respect for me, and we were both nervous.... I am not fully read on ... all of the reasons why he was doing what he was doing beyond just police officers not being held accountable when we have situations where unarmed people of color are being killed. It’s so much more than that, so much deeper than that.
He just asked me, hey, do you think there’s a way that I can still protest that’s not going to offend people in the military, and I was like, man, I mean, I don’t speak for the military or the veteran community, so in my opinion, I think being alongside your teammates is really important. I think that’s a good message. He said, I understand that, but I’ve committed to not standing during the anthem, so I don’t know if I can do that. I said, well, what if you took a knee. I just kind of threw it out there.
I thought in my experience, in my recollection anyway, I couldn’t think of a time where kneeling was seen as disrespect. People take a knee to pray and propose to their future spouse, and when a player on the field is hurt in a football game, a lot of the other players will take a knee out of respect until they’re shouldered off.... He said, I think that’s a good idea.
I said, but Colin, I’ll stand next to you if you’re willing to do this. So that night ... I stood next to Colin and he took a knee, and the anthem started to play, a Black Navy sailor sang the anthem, and people in the audience booed. Not everybody, of course, but that’s what I remember, that uncomfortability of hearing that.