L.A. Affairs: Counting the tour dates until her roadie comes home

“I just need to tell you that I’m going to be away for the whole summer, touring with a band. I’ll be gone June, July and August.”

“But we just spent every minute of the last two months together. That’s going to end?”

“I’m a roadie. This is how I pay the bills.”

Even though I’d lived in Los Angeles for seven years, I had steered clear of dating anyone in the music industry. Their schedules are mad. They collect unemployment for a few months, then go back on the road, traveling the world in a little bubble and leaving many of their responsibilities at home. Their families are the people they travel with on a cramped bus between cities.

We met at a bar in Burbank on Jan. 16, 2013. As soon as I walked in and saw him sitting at a table by himself, I stopped in my tracks. Our eyes met and I couldn’t help but smile. He was tall with slicked back hair, wearing a plaid shirt, black cargo jeans and a pair of Chuck Taylors. He smiled back. We were both there to see a band. Actually, I was seeing one of the guys in the band, and he was friends with one of the others.

I hurried along and sat at a tall table behind him. That’s when I started racking my brain — I needed an excuse to talk to this guy. When the club organizer sat down to talk to him, I made my way over to say hello. We were introduced. But after a minute, I went back to where I was sitting. Then a waitress passed with a basket of fresh potato chips and sat it down at his table. I was starving and that was as good as any excuse to get up and go talk to him. I rubbed my shoulder up against his arm and we made a connection. We were inseparable from that day on.

The first few months were incredible. Neither of us was working so we had all the time in the world to spend with each other. He had stopped talking, altogether, to any other girl who was interested in him and gave his trust over to me. I, on the other hand, have big trust issues when it comes to dating and relationships, so I was much more careful.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but he put up with many of my insecurities at the beginning, those times when I had one foot out the door, ready to run for my life if he misstepped. That was pretty awesome, especially for someone who has never had to chase a girl.

He integrated me into his life. Two weeks into hanging out together, on a walk to Starbucks, he remembered that he had left something at “our” house. It just slipped out, and I know my eyes were the widest they had ever been in my life. Can you blame a girl for leaning back as someone new grabbed her stiff straight-arm and dragged her toward new and exciting possibilities — as well as scary vulnerabilities?

It was a good thing that I had just started taking acting classes. We learned about opening up, becoming vulnerable and taking risks. As the weeks passed, I applied what I was learning to my new relationship. It took a few months, and then I started taking big risks. We set goals for our lives together. I was all in.

We moved in together.

Then the gig with the band he was working for fell through. He got another job but had to leave earlier than we had expected. Instead of being gone for three months in the summer, he’s been gone for more than a year, with a few days back home here and there.

We are inseparables forced into separation.

I’ve been able to travel to him in various cities around the world a few times. When we’re apart it’s extremely tough, but when we’re together, it’s incredible. There are some things in this life that are completely worth it, and he’s one of them.

Sanchez is a former electrical engineer working as an academic coach and living in Hollywood.

L.A. Affairs chronicles dating and romance in contemporary Southern California. Past columns and submission guidelines are at www.latimes.com/laaffairs. If you have comments to share or a true story to tell, write us at home@latimes.com.