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There Must Have Been a Full Moon in Laguna Niguel

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Residents Deloris St. John and Clark Secrest each noticed the shocking item in the Laguna Niguel News’ crime log: “Suspicious circumstances, Moulton Parkway, 28100 block, 3:59 a.m. A person called to say there were sounds in the yard, and it might be a werewolf.”

More likely a political candidate.

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Dueling ballots: “I just received my official absentee ballot,” wrote Ted Johnson of Long Beach. “I thought it was funny that it contained a card telling me to ‘Vote TWO times’ (once for local Long Beach races and the other for the state races) and a return envelope with a nice red warning that says, ‘Voting Twice Constitutes a Crime’ ” (see accompanying).

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Someone’ll gobble this one up soon: Audrey McLaughlin of Costa Mesa found a property whose accouterments include a bird that’s in good condition (see accompanying).

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Word imperfect: A computer with an unbusinesslike name caught the eye of Robert Stone and Bob Sell. Stone, an attorney, commented that his desk “is messy enough.” (see accompanying).

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Spittin’ image: In Myanmar, Bill Bierschenk of Pacific Palisades spotted a vivid warning to would-be litterbugs and betel-nut chewers (see photo).

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Before they took it all off: Gussie Kriss, 88, who designed costumes for strippers and was credited by some with inventing their twirling tassels, died in Torrance the other day.

Kriss, who was featured in “Pretty Things,” an HBO documentary on burlesque, once noted that, as the stripper biz changed, there was less and less need for a costume designer.

“When they went topless, it cut my business in half,” the Daily Breeze quoted her as saying. “And when they went bottomless, it put me out of business.”

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Talk about strong-arm tactics: In the San Clemente Sun Post, Howard Nonken read that “a liquor store got robbed by a man wielding a screwdriver and an accomplice.” Commented Nonken: “Wielding an accomplice would be scarier than wielding a screwdriver.”

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miscelLAny: A citizen’s complaint of misconduct was rejected by the Los Angeles Police Department, which told him that after “several levels of review” it found no basis for “allegations that officers were tape-recording and monitoring your telephone conversations, that they had turned themselves invisible to look at your files and that they used a possible laser to induce your sleep.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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