For Lasorda, It’s Nothing to Sneeze At

Tom Lasorda, finally recovered from the disaster at Chavez Ravine, has been dusting off all the old stories to entertain the media in the hospitality rooms at the World Series.

According to Murray Chass of the New York Times, Lasorda has been telling the one about how he asked his players if they knew why people say ‘God bless you” when someone sneezes.

“Because,” Jerry Reuss said, “it’s been proven that when you sneeze, your heart stops for an instant.”

“Why,” Lasorda then asked, “doesn’t anyone say, ‘God bless you’ to me when they hit a ground ball to Steve Sax.”

Spotted among the signs at Royals Stadium Sunday was this one carried by a woman estimated to weigh at least 200 pounds: “I’ve Come to Sing.”

Dane Iorg, whose pinch-hit single won Game 6 for Kansas City, said everybody in the family was happy except his sister-in-law.

Reason: Her husband is Garth Iorg of the Toronto Blue Jays, who were knocked out of the World Series by the Royals.

“She’s still mad,” Dane said. “She said she would root for me but not for the Royals.”

Trivia Time: What manager had the best winning percentage in the major leagues this year? (Answer below.)

Add Forgettable Quotes: Wrote Bill Livingston of the Cleveland Plain Dealer after Buddy Biancalana said last week that the best thing about the World Series was getting to watch Ozzie Smith play shortstop: “Look close, kid. Because the Wizard and his chums are going to make you disappear fast. Cards in five games.”

Wrote Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald, contrasting the sunniness of Dizzy Dean to the surliness of John Tudor: “The Gashouse Gang has turned into the Outhouse Gang.”

From Seattle Seahawks defensive back Kenny Easley: “I don’t think I have a reputation as a hard hitter. I do the job the way I know how to do it.”

Maybe he hasn’t read the latest Sports Illustrated. In a poll of 200 NFL players, the former UCLA star was chosen as the league’s No. 2 cheap-shot artist. Gary Fencik of the Chicago Bears was rated No. 1, with Lyle Alzado of the Raiders No. 3.

Said Minnesota Coach Bud Grant after Walter Payton gained 118 yards in 19 carries to lead the Chicago Bears to a 27-9 win over the Vikings: “Walter Payton is a credit to the game, I just wish he wouldn’t be as creditable against us.”

Attention, Irish: Said 275-pound Penn State tackle Chris Conlin after the the unbeaten Nittany Lions beat West Virginia, 27-0: “We’re getting back at teams that beat us last year.”

Last year, in a 6-5 season, Penn State’s worst loss was to Notre Dame, 44-6. The rematch is Nov. 16 at University Park, Pa.

From the Denver Post: “In the aftermath of the George Gervin-for-David Greenwood trade, Michael Jordan is very unhappy because he believes Gervin, though he was not on Jordan’s Eastern Conference team, was in on last year’s conspiracy to make him look bad in the All-Star Game.

Said Jordan: “I have no comment on the trade; just say that I’m unhappy about it.”

Trivia Answer: Billy Martin of the New York Yankees. When he took over from Yogi Berra, the Yankees were 6-10. They finished 97-64. Martin was 91-54 for a percentage of .628. Next was Whitey Herzog of St. Louis at .623, followed by Bobby Cox of Toronto at .615.

Quotebook

Dizzy Dean, responding to a critic who said he didn’t know the King’s English: “Old Diz knows the King’s English. Not only that, I know the Queen is English.”