Getting to the Root of Coach’s Problem

Brad Sham, sportscaster for radio station KRLD in Dallas, told the Dallas Cowboys Weekly that he recently got an 8 a.m. call at home from Cowboy Coach Tom Landry.

“I figured I’d said something the night before to ruffle his feathers, but he said he had something else in mind,” Sham said.

“He wanted to know if I knew Neil Sperry. He said he had purchased this new plant and he wanted to know if it was too late in the year to plant it.”

Sperry is KRLD’s lawn and garden expert.

The above item recalls the time a Dallas sportswriter, at a golf function, was approached by the reclusive Ben Hogan who said: “When you have time, I would like to talk to you.”

The reporter, thinking he was on the verge of getting the first newspaper interview of Hogan in a decade, rushed off to get some paper and returned.

“You wanted to talk?” he said.

“Yes,” Hogan said. “Mrs. Hogan was hoping you could use your influence at the paper. Your delivery boy keeps throwing the morning paper in the bushes. She’d appreciate it if you’d tell him to throw it on the porch.”

Trivia Time: What do Jacob Finkelstein, Walker Smith and Gerardo Gonzalez have in common? (Answer below.)

Kansas City Royal Manager Dick Howser, who formerly worked for George Steinbrenner, on new Yankee Manager Lou Piniella: “If they win, he’s got a chance. The first big game is going to be when the Yankees play the Mets in spring training. That’s when he’ll find out what pressure is.”

Add Yanks: Announcer Phil Rizzuto clinched the mixed-metaphor-of-the-year award with this one: “If Don Mattingly doesn’t win the MVP award, something isn’t kosher in China.”

How would Herschel Walker of the New Jersey Generals do in the NFL? Steve Jacobson of Newsday put the question to Maurice Carthon, former General fullback now with the New York Giants.

Carthon said: “I say he’d do the same things he’s been doing. No doubt he could. Nobody would catch him.”

Asked what would happen if Walker ran into Giant linebacker Lawrence Taylor, Carthon laughed and said: “There’d be nothing but a wreck on the highway.”

From Bob Sudyk of the Hartford Courant: “With commercial endorsements coming his way, William (The Refrigerator) Perry is taking diction lessons to eliminate the ‘ya knows’ from his vocabulary.”

When the Washington Bullets and 7-7 Manute Bol came to Atlanta for a game, the Hawks announced that anyone taller than 7 feet or from the Sudan would be admitted free.

Only one fan, a 7-footer, qualified.

The New York Jets proved that more is not always better at Miami Sunday when they went to a two-refrigerator offense and came up short.

On third and goal at the Dolphin three-yard line, they put in 265-pound defensive linemen Mark Gastineau and Joe Klecko to block for Freeman McNeil.

The Dolphins stuffed all three, and the play lost three yards. The Jets settled for a field goal and eventually lost, 21-17.

Trivia Answer: All are former welterweight boxing champions. They were better known by their ring names, Jackie Fields, Sugar Ray Robinson and Kid Gavilan.

Quotebook

New York Giant reliever Don Liddle, to the next reliever after Willie Mays had caught a 460-foot drive by Cleveland’s Vic Wertz in the 1954 World Series: “Well, I got my man.”