Part Detective, Part Decoder, He Delivers the Undeliverable Mail

Post office old-timers talk about the early days when a live child was mailed because it was cheaper than the train fare, but Joseph Zeuli isn’t all that sure of the story.

He can attest to other post office happenings, however, such as the eight-inch birthday cake or the one slice of bread wrapped in cellophane that were mailed, or the stream of coconuts that keep arriving from Hawaii with addresses written on the shell.

That’s part of what Zeuli runs across in his job in what’s called the Nixie Department--no one is sure of the exact origin of the term “Nixie”--of the Anaheim Post Office. Every day he processes upwards of 6,000 pieces of undeliverable mail: mail that lacks addresses or ZIP codes or whose address needs deciphering. Some of the pieces of mail have just names--such as “Aunt Millie”--and the town written on them.

“We give all the mail our best shot before sending it to the dead letter office in San Francisco,” said Zeuli, 64, of Garden Grove, a 30-year veteran of the post office, who at times is as effective as a detective in finding where mail should go.

“After all these years, you get a sense about things,” he said, “and the letter carriers here are a good source of information.” For instance, he said, carriers oftentimes are able to figure out where “Aunt Millie” lives.

Besides letters, all other items dropped in the mailbox go to Zeuli. These can include wallets, rings, cassette tapes, books, airline tickets and even wrapped gum. “Our people once emptied a mail drop box and found a live cat in it,” he said, “but they called the Humane Society.”

Although all mail gets attention, “I guess we give more effort” if the letters seem to have money or checks enclosed, Zeuli said. “People may need that money, and we try and get it delivered. You know how much easier it would be if everyone put a return address on their mail?”

Zeuli added: “Look, if you’re going to write about anything, tell the people to put on a correct ZIP code. Our whole operation is geared to the ZIP code.”

While Zeuli gets thank-you notes for figuring out where mail should be sent, he said, “we also get complaint letters from people who get their mail back when we can’t figure out where it should be delivered.”

“They send us messages like ‘You’re a dummy,’ ” Zeuli said.

Along with jilted lovers, lots of sales people are being attracted to a workshop called “How to Master Failure and Rejection,” says Jacqueline de River-Daniel, who will direct the $19, three-hour course Monday at the Learning Activity in Anaheim.

“Most who take the course are sales people who sell such intangibles as insurance and always face rejection,” she said. “I tell them not to take it personally and how to cope.”

Harry Helling of Laguna Niguel has this thing for whales.

For instance, he’s about to present the 60-member tuxedo-clad Capistrano Valley Symphony Orchestra performing original music on the deck of the tall ship Pilgrim in Dana Point. It will come at the peak of the 12,000-mile migration of the California Gray Whales.

You see, Helling feels people should appreciate not only whales but the whole marine environment, and rightly so, because he’s director of the Orange County Marine Institute in Dana Point.

The free concert and other events will be presented on four weekends starting Feb. 14, and the aim, Helling said, is to “have people walk away with a nice feeling about whales.”

Is the institute going to make money on the event? “Not a chance,” he answered, noting that everything is free except whale watch boat rides.

One of the events will include coating your hand with whale blubber and putting it into arctic-temperature water to feel the blubber’s insulating property. In addition, Helling said, he hopes to have a movie screen on one of the Pilgrim’s sails to view the whale migration, weather permitting.

When you play the game of “Can You Top This,” don’t try matching Anaheim resident Charles H. Blesh, 54, a former journeyman welder now teaching welding technology at Orange Coast College. Blesh said, “There’s a piece of my work on every continent in the world and even on the moon.” Blesh said he welded a hydraulic cylinder for Apollo 11’s moonlander, which remains on the moon.

Acknowledgments--Kathie Hodge and Miki Mikolajczak, both of San Clemente and members of the Saddleback College counseling staff, were named to an international training program designed to teach major decision-making skills to community college women administrators.