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Final Word Came From the Top

On Father’s Day, Phil Elderkin of the Christian Science Monitor told a story about Connie Mack, longtime owner of the Philadelphia A’s who also managed the club until he was almost 90 and wore a blue serge suit complete with celluloid collar in the dugout.

“One day,” wrote Elderkin, “the Philadelphia pitcher was being cuffed around so badly that Mack ordered his son Earle, the team’s 61-year-old first base coach, to go out to the mound and remove him.

“The pitcher was ranting and raving so much that communication was almost impossible. Finally, the distressed hurler calmed down enough to ask why he had to be taken out. Replied Earle: ‘Because Daddy says so!’ ”

The Hit Man: Here are a couple of shots at the Dodgers from an upcoming special called “Don Rickles On The Loose”:

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To Bill Russell: “If you’re thinking of getting into show-biz when you retire, it’s real tough. Look at Lasorda. He has to do commercials for dead bugs and paralyzed fleas to make a living.”

To Pedro Guerrero: “Go back to your homeland and become a general. And take Madlock with you so you’ll have somebody to put up against a wall.”

Trivia Time: How many 43-year-olds have won the U.S. Open golf tournament? (Answer below.)

How big is Herman Mitchell, the caddy for Lee Trevino?

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“Too big,” Trevino said. “Herman is over 300. About a year ago I told him if he lost 60 pounds by New Year’s Day, I’d give him $5,000. I told him I wouldn’t even weigh him. I’d just look at him so if he lost 35, 40 pounds he’d get the money.”

And?

“He gained 12 pounds,” Trevino said.

Add Trevino: Of Bob Tway, his Sunday playing partner, he said: “If you’re looking for the next superstar he’s it.”

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Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald, on the resurgence of the graybeards in 1986: “Who needs the Senior Tour? Sam Snead may yet win his first Open. How about Byron Nelson winning the Byron Nelson?”

Overheard at the NFL-USFL trial in New York: “For the money they’re spending on this trial, they could start another league.”

9 Years Ago Today: On June 17, 1977, Rick Burleson and Fred Lynn of Boston hit home runs off New York’s Catfish Hunter to lead off the game at Fenway Park. Carlton Fisk and George Scott also connected off Hunter in the inning. The Red Sox beat the Yankees, 11-1.

Trivia Answer: Three. Ray Floyd (1986) was 43 years 9 months. Ted Ray (1920) was 43-4, and Julius Boros (1963) was 43-3. Quotebook

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Abe Lemons, Oklahoma City basketball coach, on how he came within two strokes of winning an automobile in a golf tournament: “It was a hole-in-one contest and I had a three.”


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