FIRST-HALF FOLLIES : For Dodgers, Angels, a Strange Season : Injuries, Errors, an Amazing Rookie and a Falling Roof--What’s Next?

A quiz.

Your Dominican outfielder crashes on his way to third base during a Dodger spring training game, rupturing something called a patellar tendon. This means:

a) He should have stopped at second.

b) You sign another Dominican outfielder and hope he doesn’t have a patellar tendon to rupture.

c) You reach the All-Star break in sixth place, eight games behind the San Francisco Giants.

Your All-Star, Hall-of-Fame-bound first baseman kind of retires, leaving you with an Angel rookie who looks like Wally on Leave It To Beaver . You start him and expect:

a) Someone to accuse you of violating child labor laws.

b) Rookie jitters.

c) 20 whiskers before 20 home runs.

It’s the bottom of the ninth, men on first and third, one out, your team leads, 4-3. You gesture to your Dodger bullpen and call for a reliever. This means:

a) You dialed

the wrong number. b) Your starter won’t pitch with a dislocated shoulder.

c) You care little about returning as next season’s manager.

You sign a supposedly washed-up reliever who was last seen on a talk show discussing fat farms. People tell you you’re crazy. You tell them:

a) “Yeah, but he makes a great chicken tacos.”

b) “It was all a terrible mistake for the Angels; we thought we signed Jerry Royster.”

c) “4-1, four saves, 3.49 earned-run average, pal.”

These have been odd times for the Dodgers and Angels.

One minute the Dodgers, winners of the 1985 NL West, are

logical preseason choices to repeat; the next minute they lose Pedro Guerrero and they become logical choices to finish last. And surprise, guess where they are halfway through a season of struggles?

The Angels enter the year with a

pitching staff that Manager Gene Mauch can’t wait to see. Then John Candelaria injures his elbow, Gary Lucas injures his back, followed later by injuries to Donnie Moore and still later, to Terry Forster. Somehow the Angels manage to stay at or near the top of the AL West. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have Wally Joyner on your team.

There have been highs and lows for both teams. The injury to Guerrero provides rookie Franklin Stubbs a chance to shine. . . . Rod Carew’s departure is Joyner’s gain. . . . Fernando Valenzuela persists. . . . Don Sutton wins his 300th game. And so it goes.

A summary of first-half adventures.

THE ANGELS

Hey fellas, I was just kidding: After a particularly tough loss early in the season, newly acquired reliever Terry Forster began cracking jokes in the otherwise glum Angel clubhouse. In no mood to jest, Manager Gene Mauch took Forster aside and told him to save the guffaws for his next appearance on “Late Night With David Letterman.” Forster’s locker is located a bat length or two away from Mauch’s office, which probably doesn’t help matters.

Shoulder trouble? Well, now that you mention it . . . : When it became apparent that Stewart Cliburn might not make the Angel roster this spring, strange things began to happen. Cliburn, who finished the 1985 season with a 9-3 record, 6 saves and a 2.09 earned-run average, kept insisting his right shoulder would be fine, despite a number of sub-par performances during spring training. After the final Freeway Series game against the Dodgers, a game where he allowed four runs in two-thirds of an inning, Cliburn said: “It will come. I’m not worried. I’m not worried at all.”

But then the Angels announced Cliburn was being sent the Triple-A club in Edmonton. Cliburn, visibly upset, then met with General Manager Mike Port. “They’ve put me on the disabled list, I’ll go from there,” he said. “I’m just not physically prepared.”

Do you smell fish? The Angels did, and told Cliburn that, no, he wasn’t on the disabled list and, yes, he was going to Edmonton. “After the fact, for somebody to say, ‘OK, I’m hurt,’ . . . I would not expect that of Stewart Cliburn,” Port said. “If somebody is trying to create something that isn’t there then that person is traveling down the wrong road.”

At last look, Cliburn was still trying to regain his past form in Edmonton.

Are we imagining things, or does Mike Port really talk like Warren Burger?: Submitted for your approval, the top three Mike Port-isms of 1986.

1) On himself: “I would say (I am) amicable enough on occasion, but at the outset, a baseball fan, and . . . desirous of wanting to see players do well but within the proper vein of how I see baseball and what the game should be.”

2) On negotiations that resulted in Donnie Moore’s new three-year contract: “Through continued discussion (the two sides) found some ways to compromise well within the range of their respective positions.”

3) On making a decision: “Given the time and the capability, I am inclined to get as much information as possible before acting.”

Everything you wanted to know about Wally Joyner--again: Did you know that Joyner doesn’t make much more than the major league minimum of $60,000 . . . that his contract expires at the end of the season . . . that barring the unexpected, he can count on a hefty raise in 1987 . . . that he’s a nice guy . . . that during his first visit to the Angel locker room, an Angel player mistook him for a clubhouse boy and told him to fetch a cup of coffee . . . that owner Gene Autry didn’t know who he was at the beginning of spring training . . . that he sought out a batting tee and hitting coach Moose Stubing after a 4-for-5 spring training performance, raising his average to .429 . . . that he’s been compared to Keith Hernandez, Rusty Staub, Wes Parker, Mickey Vernon and George Brett . . . that he didn’t know who Parker and Vernon were . . . that his favorite home run this season is a game-winning, two-run shot off New York Yankee reliever Dave Righetti in the top of the ninth with two outs that ended a five-game Angel losing streak . . . that he hit 12 home runs last season in Triple-A . . . that he isn’t as concerned about making the world forget about Rod Carew as he is making sure they remember Wally Joyner.

April 8, 1986: Angel history buffs will remember this as the day shortstop Rick Burleson, a victim of two rotator cuff injuries, made his first major league appearance in more than two seasons. Batting seventh in the order, Burleson singled against Seattle Mariner pitcher Mike Moore.

Bavasi to Reggie: You’re not getting better, you’re getting older: When Reggie Jackson reluctantly assumed his duties as a designated hitter this season, former Angel general manager Buzzie Bavasi said: “Reggie is 40 years old. He forgets that he can’t bat .350 and hit 45 home runs, the way he once did. He has to realize what his potential is at age 40.

“Reggie forgets that we all get old and our bodies are not as quick as they used to be. His value to the team right now is as the DH. I think you and I and most people who know the Angels would argue that they have better outfielders, defensively.

“I think he’ll have a good year. Not a Hall of Fame year, but a good one. He’s still the straw that stirs the drink.”

Bavasi might have to revise his statement. Jackson is hitting .279 with 9 homers and 33 RBI.

Reggie rumors: What would a season be without a few juicy asides involving Jackson? A synopsis:

Spring Training--Jackson expresses disappointment about being relegated to designated hitter duty and occasional outfield duty. . . . Jackson says he hasn’t signed a 1986 contract. . . . Port says he’s not too concerned about any contract difficulty. . . . Jackson and Port meet, iron out supposed differences. . . . San Francisco Giant General Manager Al Rosen says he’s interested in acquiring Jackson. He later says any possibility of a deal is slim. . . . Jackson is bound for New York and the Yankees. . . . Jackson is bound for Milwaukee and the Brewers. Jackson stays put.

Well, it was state of the art in 1975: Worst scoreboard in the majors has to go to Anaheim Stadium. Replays are infrequent, yellowish and hard to see. And what happened to supplementing other scores with pitching changes, home runs, saves, etc.? This is a scoreboard in word only, a relic that belongs in a minor league ballpark somewhere in Oklahoma.

Sure he can play shortstop, but can he dislodge a donut?: In one of your more unusual game delays, Angel shortstop Dick Schofield found himself in the on-deck circle, unable to get a metal weighted donut off his bat. Oakland A’s pitcher Rick Langford waited on the mound as Bob Boone, Reggie Jackson and Schofield attempted to dislodge the circular weight. Jackson finally discovered the right method and sent Schofield and his bat to the plate. Three pitches later, Schofield hit a home run over the right-field fence.

Bless you: Angel viewers were treated to a rare treat earlier this season. During the middle of an Angel telecast, play-by-play man Bob Starr sneezed into the microphone, which was enough to make you switch to radio. And maybe one of these days, Starr will say something else other than commentator Joe Torre has gone downstairs “for postgame possibilities.” What does that mean? An interview? Helping the groundskeepers clean up? Signing autographs?

On second thought: Manager Gene Mauch on the Angel pennant chances: “I know we have 90 or 91 wins in us. What I want to see is 95 or 98 or 100.” Of course, Mauch said this before he lost pitchers John Candelaria, Stewart Cliburn, Gary Lucas and Donnie Moore to assorted injuries. The Angels’ record is 48-39, meaning they would have to go 47-28 to reach even 95 wins.

Excuse me, pardon me, my fault: Outfielders Gary Pettis and Brian Downing collided twice in four days, prompting Downing to affectionately refer to Pettis as “my tackling dummy.”

Rock of ages: How are the over-35 club doing: Bob Boone, 38, .214; Reggie Jackson, 40, .279; Bobby Grich, 37, .261; George Hendrick, 36, .262; Don Sutton, 41, 8-5.

Worst trip: In less than 10 days, an Angel trip included the Metrodome roof being ripped apart by storm, Reggie Jackson getting involved in a barroom incident with a fan and Gary Pettis and Brian Downing colliding in the outfield.

Lost in the translation: Let’s get this straight. Rod Carew was upset that the Angels hadn’t thrown him a retirement party at Anaheim Stadium, even though he hadn’t officially retired until June 2. Rod Carew was upset that the Angels declined to re-sign him, even though rookie Wally Joyner went on to bat .296, hit 19 homers with 64 RBIs during the first half of the season. Rod Carew was upset that no other major league teams were interested in him, even though the San Francisco Giants eventually contacted him about playing. Carew said he didn’t want to be away from his family for an entire summer. Away from his family for the summer? If he didn’t want to play, why didn’t he say so in the beginning?

Comparative shopping: Who got the best of last season’s trade between the Pittsburgh Pirates and Angels? George Hendrick (.262, 8 homers, 25 RBIs) and John Candelaria (2-0, 2.92 ERA; missed three months of season because of an elbow injury) for reliever Pat Clements (0-4, 3.23, 2 saves, 43 appearances), Bob Kipper (15-day disabled list, shoulder strain, 3-6, 4.52 ERA), right-fielder Mike Brown (.232, 4 HRs, 26 RBI’s).

Insect diet: If you want to see outfielder Brian Downing get upset, simply do what Manager Gene Mauch does on occasion: bat him leadoff. “Brian would rather eat a green fly than leadoff and I know it. But he loves to win and I know that, too,” Mauch said.

Numbers: At the halfway point in games played, the Angel pitchers had 18 complete games, four less than their total in 1985. . . . The Angels committed 40 errors in the first half, 17 fewer than the Texas Rangers, who were second to the Angels in fielding percentage. . . . The Angels used 72 different lineups, 7 different leadoff hitters. . . . The Angels had 18 come-from-behind wins. . . . They were 30-15 in games that they scored first. . . . The Angels had five players on the disabled list during the first half, all pitchers: John Candelaria, Urbano Lugo, Gary Lucas, Terry Forster and Donnie Moore.

THE DODGERS

It seemed funny at the time: Poor Terry Whitfield. Whitfield, a utility player, was a manager’s dream. He did what he was told, rarely complained, worked hard. So on April Fool’s Day, Manager Tommy Lasorda tells Whitfield the Dodgers are releasing him. Whitfield is stunned, heartbroken. But wait--Lasorda is only kidding. It’s April Fool’s, you knucklehead. Everyone gets a good laugh, including Whitfield. On May 23, Lasorda calls Whitfield into his office again. Lasorda tells Whitfield he’s been released. This time he isn’t kidding. Somewhere there’s a lesson here about picking the right people for practical jokes.

Most versatile bat boy: Meet Ben Hwang. Hwang plays the violin, can speak several languages fluently, has served as an interpreter and can stack helmets with the best of them. But his most noteworthy accomplishment came earlier this year when he won about $50,000 in cash and merchandise on a game show.

It’s lonely at the top: Now that his office has been closed to outsiders (the result of Commissioner Peter Ueberroth’s preseason edict), Manager Tommy Lasorda finds himself with plenty of free time. Instead of the usual entourage, Lasorda’s office is silent except for a television set and players filtering in and out for a postgame meal. That’s OK. The Angels haven’t had a celebrity since Champion died.

Paid to hit, not slide: On a day that will live in Dodger infamy, Pedro Guerrero ruptures the patellar tendon below his left knee while attempting a slide into third base during an exhibition game at Vero Beach, Fla, April 3. Guerrero, who contributed 33 homers, 87 RBI’s and a .320 average in 1985, is lost until early August. Guerrero’s injury came on the last day of spring training in Florida.

Bite the bullet: How much will it cost the Dodgers to rid themselves of infielder Bob Bailor, outfielder Terry Whitfield and pitcher Bobby Castillo? The salaries: Bailor ($380,000); Whitfield ($341,666) and Castillo (about $350,000).

Best nine-man imitation of Diego Maradona: If nothing else, the Dodger defense is creative and consistent. Not satisfied with last year’s record-breaking fielding performance, the Dodgers are well on their way to eclipsing last season’s total of 166. Already, the Dodgers have a six-error game to their credit (June 21, vs. the San Diego Padres). And one can imagine Manager Tommy Lasorda waking up in a cold sweat, muttering the names of an outfield that once could include Franklin Stubbs, Cesar Cedeno and Ken Landreaux. Cedeno is gone and Stubbs has improved at a foreign position. Landreaux remains, uh, inventive. Mike Marshall remains a constant in right. After 88 games, the Dodgers had committed 101 errors compared to 63 errors by opponents.

Paging Mr. Niedenfuer . . . Paging Mr. Niedenfuer: All right, where is it? Who took reliever Tom Niedenfuer’s good fortune, not to mention his fastball and location? Niedenfuer has allowed 10 homers in 54 innings compared to six homers in 106.1 innings in 1985. Niedenfuer gets booed just about every time he ventures toward the Dodger mound. It can’t be fun. Niedenfuer has done his best to remain optimistic, but he is cursed to forever remain the pitcher who allowed the St. Louis Cardinals a visit to the 1985 World Series. So far, Niedenfuer has wrestled with New York Met third baseman Ray Knight in a tag-team match May 27 and the recipient of a letter from a prison inmate. Just a little pick-me-upper note. Niedenfuer isn’t without company. The Dodger bullpen has a whopping 11 saves and Ed Vande Berg isn’t exactly knocking ‘em dead.

Shipley’s believe it or not: Shortstop Craig Shipley, the second major leaguer from Australia, got his first RBI of his career against Houston Astro Nolan Ryan June 29. That gave the Dodgers a 1-0 lead and with Fernando Valenzuela pitching, you figured Shipley to be seen later clipping the newspaper stories of his big hit. But the Astros rallied, helped in part by a two-base throwing error that nearly reached the Outback.

Cliches live: It hurts to say, but what a difference a year makes. Isn’t that Steve Sax hitting .321 with only 6 errors at second base. Sure it is. Sax remains a bright spot in an infield that needs one. At one time or another, the Dodgers have sent out a team that included only one regular--Sax--in the infield. Sax has been among the league’s top 10 hitters for almost the entire first half.

Medical center: At one time or another, the Dodgers have had Bill Madlock (groin, strained left thigh), Alejandro Pena (shoulder), Pedro Guerrero (knee), Mike Scioscia (ankle), Dennis Powell (elbow), Len Matuszek (shoulder), Dave Anderson (broken finger) and Greg Brock (knee) on the injured-reserve list. Madlock has been on the list twice, while Franklin Stubbs (hamstring), Mike Marshall (back) and Mariano Duncan (ankle) nursed injuries that kept them out of games. It doesn’t stop there. Trainer Bill Buhler and bullpen coach Mark Cresse underwent knee surgery this season.

The eat to lose diet: Before a June 28 game against the Houston Astros, Manager Tommy Lasorda ate more than 100 oysters. Later, he had to stomach another Dodger loss. As reporters waited outside his office for postgame questioning, Lasorda said: “Give me time to eat.”

Bargain basement: In this, a season of relative despair, the Dodgers are getting their money’s worth out of outfielders Reggie Williams and Franklin Stubbs. Williams, who makes the major league minimum of $60,000, entered July hitting .320, not bad for someone known as a defensive player. And Stubbs, a converted first baseman who earns about $65,000, began July with a .263 average. Stubbs hit nine homers in June (Pedro Guerrero hit 15 last June) and inches toward the team lead in RBI’s.

Costly victories: Pitcher Jerry Reuss will earn $1,050,000 this season, which so far figures out to $525,000 for each of his two wins. Reuss is 2-6 with a 5.87 ERA.

Hat trick: After reliever Ken Howell allowed the Montreal Expos to score the winning run in an 11th-inning rally May 11, he angrily tossed his cap into the Olympic Stadium seats. Loyal Expo fans looked at the blue Dodger cap and threw it back. The cap was eventually retrieved and sent to the Dodger clubhouse.

Numbers: Greg Brock is batting .054 (2 for 37) with no homers and no RBIs against left-handers. . . . The Dodgers went on a seven-game winning streak (April 27-May 3). That’s the good news. The bad news is that it only moved the Dodgers to the .500 mark. . . . Entering July, outfielder Ken Landreaux was batting .311 on the road and .190 at Dodger Stadium.

HHEEEELLLPPPPP!!!!: What happened to Bob Welch? Last year, Welch didn’t win a game until June. This season Welch wins his first two decisions and three of his first four. He is among the leaders in ERA and strikeouts. Then comes May . . . and June. Welch won his first game since April 30 when he defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-3 July 3. He’s 4-7 with a 3.72 ERA.

Sinking analogies: After a 4-3 victory over the Pirates July 6, breaking a nine-game losing streak in one-run games, Dodger Manager Tom Lasorda began comparing his team to the Queen Mary when it made its maiden voyage from Great Britain to the United States. “It went through a lot of storms, but somehow or another it still floated and it still left. That’s like us: we’ll keep floating, we’ll keep battling.” There are those who compare this season’s Dodgers to, say, the Titanic.