A LOOK AT TWO OF SUNDAY’S RAIDER, RAM OPPONENTS : Winslow: Player and Playwright

Kellen Winslow’s new play, “Struggle,” which will be staged here next February, is not autobiographical in nature, but its central theme likely would be different were Winslow’s life not so intertwined with Raider linebacker Jeff Barnes’.

A collision with Barnes two years ago shredded Winslow’s right knee, threatened his career, led him deeper into religion and helped forge a friendship that resulted in his becoming a playwright.

Winslow, the San Diego Chargers’ tight end, has collaborated with Patrick Whyte, a composer of contemporary gospel music, to produce a play about the efforts of a young black man to go on despite disillusionment and depression.

The two-act play, with dialogue by Winslow and music by Whyte, will open Feb. 17 at the Showtime Dinner Theater.

“I’m already nervous, even though it’s still five months away,” Winslow said. “The play will end with an upbeat message and what I hope will be a standing ovation.”

Said Whyte: “We are saying to the audience, ‘You should never be satisfied or put down by where you are, and you must not let anyone say you can’t do more with your life.’ ”

Winslow said that his own struggle influenced the viewpoint projected in “Struggle.”

On Oct. 21, 1984, a tackle by Barnes shattered Winslow’s knee, interrupting a career that seemed certain to earn him a place in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Winslow had already played seasons in which he caught 89, 88 and 88 passes, and midway through the ’84 season, he had 55 receptions.

Winslow, who has become a close friend of Barnes, will play against the Raiders again Sunday at the Coliseum.

There isn’t a team he respects more, or one that has so dramatically altered his life. Winslow’s comeback was at its most vulnerable stage a year ago when the Chargers lost to the Raiders at the Coliseum, 34-21.

He had been activated only the week before, and, against the Raiders, Winslow believed he was testing not only his knee, but also his ego, his competitiveness, even his ability to survive.

“I was so pumped up and wanting to show the world I was back from my injury,” Winslow said. “I wanted to prove I could take whatever the Raiders could dish out.

“I remember a play--I got hit so hard, my helmet was knocked off my head. I got up real quick and put my helmet back on, and some of the dirt in the facemask got in my mouth. Then, as I was walking back toward our huddle, Rod Martin said to me: ‘Come over the middle again and we’ll tear up your other knee.’ ”

Winslow, whose temper and roughhouse tactics have led officials to flag him for numerous personal fouls, remained cool.

“Rod,” he said, “I’ll be back. I’ll keep on coming back.”

The linebacker and the tight end looked at each other, then dissolved in laughter.

Such are the seemingly contrary emotions of Winslow’s life. The hostility of his game has not warped a man gentle by nature.

Some of his closest friends in football wear silver and black, among them Matt Millen, Lester Hayes, Mike Haynes and Barnes.

If the Raiders didn’t exist, Winslow would have to invent them as malevolent but still lovable figures in a morality play.

“I enjoy them, I respect them as players and men, and I think that respect is mutual,” Winslow said. “I really like their style. They’re there to kick your butt and intimidate you, and that’s the way I play, too.

“There isn’t a dirtier player than Matt Millen, but I know he is a good person. Before the game last year, he came up to me and said how happy he was to see me back on the field. Then a few minutes later, he was trying to take my head off.”

Winslow’s own violent streak has been tempered by the injury to his knee and his reputation as a latter-day Mike Ditka--that is, a tight end with an inclination to maim defenders.

“I’ve got to get back my old aggressive style,” Winslow said. “That’s what got me where I am. I can’t let the fear of the officials throwing a flag change my style.”

It was not aggression but a chance religious experience that precipitated one of Winslow’s most accomplished performances five years ago in a game against the Raiders at Oakland.

The game had at least a superficial resemblance to this weekend’s in that both teams were struggling.

“We had to win or face elimination from the playoffs,” Winslow said. “The morning of the game, I was planning to attend a chapel service (at the team hotel). But I mistakenly went in the wrong door, and wound up in Mass. It was very ceremonial and quite different from the church services I was accustomed to.”

Coincidentally or not, Winslow caught 13 passes and scored 5 touchdowns in a 55-21 San Diego win that helped the team gain the playoffs.

That same season, the Chargers met the Miami Dolphins in an AFC playoff game that certified Winslow as an authentic football hero. He caught 13 passes for 166 yards and blocked a field goal with two seconds remaining to send the game into overtime, in which the Chargers won.

Before the game, Sid Brooks, the team’s semi-superstitious equipment man, had tried to persuade Winslow to attend Mass again.

But he chose a less formal chapel meeting in which players conducted a debate.

“We were arguing over whether God decides the outcome of football games,” Winslow said. “We were going back and forth about predestination versus free will. We didn’t settle anything but finally decided that God deserved the glory, no matter the outcome.”

Winslow relishes his own return to glory if only to reassure his admirers. In a way, he feels condemned by his past. Nothing he could reasonably hope to do now in football could exceed what he has already done.

“I think I can still have one of those special games,” Winslow said. “Physically, I know I’m getting better every week, and I believe I can do the things I once did. But it’s difficult once you reach a certain level in this game. As time goes by, it seems that you are remembered on a higher plane with each passing year. . . .

“In some ways I’m chasing myself. It’s very important for me to know and accept whatever level I am able to return to.”

And that brings Kellen Winslow back to “Struggle.”

The play evolved from the friendship Winslow struck up with Whyte while recuperating from knee surgery two years ago. Shaken and worried about his future, Winslow found solace in singing in the choir at the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church in San Diego.

Whyte, director of music at the church, was not and is not a sports fan. He did not recognize Winslow as a star football player. That was part of the attraction for Winslow, whose flair for self-promotion is balanced by a need to be a normal person at times.

“To me, he is just Kellen, just a down-to-earth guy,” said Whyte, who has a master’s degree in music from San Diego State and has been composing for a decade.

Whyte, after getting to know Winslow, decided the player could help promote his musical group, the Patrick Whyte Singers. Winslow agreed and began studying the composer’s songbook.

Then on a cross-country flight last June, Winslow got the idea for a play.

He has been a writer off and on for much of of his life. He kept a journal and wrote poetry as a high school student.

He also had an interest in acting, dating back to his senior year in high school at East St. Louis, Ill. As the final examination for a class in Afro-American studies, Winslow played the lead in a play entitled, “Mulatto.”

Winslow doesn’t expect to have a career in drama after his retirement from football, but he clearly regards his writing of “Struggle” as a milestone in his life.

It’s the story of a young black man who has recently graduated from college at the top of his class.

The young man, now a management trainee in a big company, has returned to his old neighborhood and lives with his grandmother.

The protagonist’s struggle involves the workplace, where he is the only black; the home front, where he is at odds with his grandmother, and the romantic front, where he is trying to re-establish a relationship with a lover who waited for him all through college.

Winslow’s script serves to link Whyte’s musical compositions.

“We’re still fine-tuning it, but basically, the dialogue ties the songs together, and the music drives home the main points,” Winslow said. “What we’re trying to get across is that life is a daily struggle, but through faith in Jesus Christ, you can overcome.”

He may not do another play, but Winslow has other writing projects in mind. Once he completes work on a master’s degree in sports psychology, he intends to write a serious book on football, a book that will delve into the inner workings of athletes.

“I want to address the misconception that we’re all stupid,” he said. “But we as football players have to stop believing we’re stupid before we can expect the public to do so.

“Part of the problem is that we are never given a chance to grow up. There is always somebody watching over you, taking responsibility for your life, from the time you’re in Little League.”