Panthers and Steelers Naturally Are the Pitts

THE COLLEGES

They are the Pitts--the Panthers of the University of Pittsburgh (2-2-1) and the Xers (formerly the Steelers) of the NFL’s Pittsburgh entry (1-4).

And if the Panthers’ impressive 13-19 loss to Temple is an indication, the Pitts have a good shot at winning this year’s pro/am Worst City competition--and a niche in the Bottom Ten Hall of Fame, currently located in the back-seat of a station wagon in a Venice, Calif., parking lot.

The Pitts are by no means shoo-outs for this year’s award, though. Not as long as the two Houstons (2-7 combined) are around. Then there’s Florida State (1-2-1) and the NFL’s Tallahassee Buccaneers (1-4).

But they’ve all got a long way to go to underpass the feats of that all-time great Chicago-area couple, the Northwestern Mildcats and Chicago Dancing Bears (who combined for a 6-21 record in 1981). The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Florida (1-4) 17-28, LSU Kent State 2. Colorado (0-4) Idle Missouri 3. Fla. St. (1-2-1) More Idle Tulane 4. Purdue (1-3) 9-36, Minnehaha Illinois 5. Notre Dame (1-3) 10-28, Alabama Pitt 6. Syracuse (1-4) Df. Missouri, 9-41 Idle 7. UCLA (2-2) 9-16, Ariz. State Arizona 8. Pitt (2-2-1) 13-19, Temple Notre Dame 9. Illinois (1-3) 0-14, Ohio State Purdue 10. BYU (3-2) 20-24, Colo. State Hiding

11. Boston College (1-3); 12. Northwestern (2-2); 13. Princeton (0-3); 14. South Carolina (1-4); 15. Georgia Tech (1-2-1); 16. Michigan State (2-2); 17. Rained out; 18. Texas (2-1); 19. Fresno State (3-1); 20. Oklahoma (3-1)*.

Others not receiving votes: Pentagon (Army, Navy, Air Force, L.A. Raider Backfield) (11-7).

*Failed miserably to cover 51-point spread, edging Kansas State, 56-10.

ROUT OF THE WEEK: Kent State (3-2) over Florida (1-4).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Pitt (2-2-1) at Notre Dame (1-3).

BRITISH BOTTOM TEN REPORT: Brighton B-52 Bombers of England, a British football team, were crushed, 6-77, by City College of San Francisco at Candlestick Park--a significant improvement over last year’s 0-76 setback. THE PROS

As the Miami Mice (1-4) crawl lower and lower into the Bottom Ten morass, the rumors swirl, such as . . .

Emulating the Saints’ Wade-for-Bum Phillips switch last year, the team will replace Coach Don Shula with his son Mike, the Alabama quarterback. Or, Mice management will give in and take back Larry Csonka and Jim Kiick from the World Football League . . .

Or the team will call up promising quarterback Vinny Testaverde from its local minor league affiliate to replace Dan (Stop Me Before I Pass Again) Marino. With seven interceptions in his last two games, Marino’s skills have deteriorated to such an extent that the Rams are now considering making an offer for him. The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Miami (Fla.) (1-4) 7-34, N. England Buffalo 2. Inst. Replay Raiders-Chiefs This week 3. Bay (Green) (0-5) 28-34, Cincinnati Detroit 4. San Diego (1-4) 7-33, Seattle Denver 5. Dallas (3-2) 14-29, Denver Washington

6. AFC Central (8-12); 7. St. Louis (0-5); 8. Buffalo (1-4); 9. Old Orleans (1-4); 10. (Tie) Indianapolis Dolts (0-5) and Indianapolis Orioles (73-89).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Buffalo (1-4) at Miami (1-4).

QUOTEBOOK: Cardinal quarterback Neil Lomax, on officials in the replay booth who halted play for five minutes (a season high) Sunday while trying to determine whether a pass had been caught in bounds: “I thought they were ordering a pizza.”