Dawkins Is Assuming They Cared

Rimwrecker and heartbreaker Darryl Dawkins of the New Jersey Nets assumes that there were a lot of suicides when he got married recently.

“When I got married, I’m sure 50 girls jumped off the Empire State Building, another 50 off the World Trade Center and another 50 off the Chrysler Building,” Dawkins said.

Dawkins, on his new wife, Kelly: “She captivated me with her beauty and charm and brains, and alienated me with her nagging. Of course, if she makes me mad, I’ll shoot her.”

Trivia time: Who was the head coach of the last Indianapolis/Baltimore Colts team with a winning record? (Answer below).

A 47-year-old school record at Pacific Lutheran, set by former University of Washington basketball Coach Marv Harshman, was broken Saturday as the Lutes stomped Central Washington, 42-0, in a Columbia Football League game.

Dan Wiersma intercepted a pass from Wildcat quarterback Jim Hill and ran 82 yards for a touchdown in the third quarter, surpassing the school mark of 75 yards for an interception return set by Harshman in 1939. Harshman retired in 1984 after coaching basketball at Pacific Lutheran, Washington State and Washington.

Sportscaster Tim Brando of ESPN is finding out that the sideline is the worst place to watch a football game.

Brando interviewed Georgia Coach Vince Dooley while gnats swirled around their heads. Then, seconds before a pregame interview with Baylor Coach Grant Teaff, the Baylor band began blaring away behind them, making it almost impossible for them to hear each other. Finally, in Waco, Tex., the artificial turf was covered with large crickets.

More than 1,000 credentials were issued to journalists covering the World Series. Ed Lucas, a sports announcer for a radio station in Toms River, N.J., got two. One for himself and one for the person accompanying him.

Lucas needs an escort because he has been blind for almost 35 years.

“I have a pretty good perception where a ball is going once it’s hit,” Lucas said. “Earlier this year, I was standing near the batting cage talking to a friend and somebody hit a ball and I said: ‘Boy, that’s a rope, who hit that?’ ”

The comment left Don Mattingly of the New York Yankees a little stunned, Lucas said.

“Eddie, how the hell did you know that?” Mattingly wondered.

“I said: ‘I can’t explain it, Don, but I know where the ball is going most of the time,’ ” Lucas said.

Trivia Answer: Ted Marchibroda, who led the Colts to a 10-4 record in 1977.

Quotebook

Chicago center Jay Hilgenberg: “It’s normal for a football player to bitch. At times, I bitch more than anyone else. After all, it’s not normal to go out and hit people all of the time.”