TURN-ONS AND TURN-OFFS IN CURRENT HOME ENTERTAINMENT RELEASES : Excellent Good Fair Poor : VIDEOCASSETTES

“The Sights and Sounds of Christmas.” Sugar Plum Productions. $29.95. Imagine being trapped in an elevator at May Co. for 70 grueling minutes, listening to piped-in Christmas carols while gazing at a Hallmark catalogue from the ‘50s. In this “heart-warming” video, a constant parade of still images of every kitschy holiday cliche--trees, kids, Santas, toys, shopping malls, snow--passes before us, accompanied by Muzak. It is Sartre’s concept of Hell, available on VHS or Beta. The bottom is hit with a dramatic look at the White House and Capitol Hill as the choir sings “Noel, Noel.” No way, no way. Information: (800) 972-5858, ext. 1900.