Workshop on Enhancing Love in the Sunset Years : Seminar Provides Sex Education to the Elderly

Westside senior citizens are discussing common sex problems, societal myths, attitudes and health issues at a 10-week workshop in Venice, sponsored by the Santa Monica Senior Health and Peer Counseling Center.

Workshop leader Betty Buxbaum, a licensed therapist, said “touching . . . is the silent way to communicate” and told workshop participants that life does not end at age 60. In fact, sex in the later years can be better than ever, Buxbaum said.

Buxbaum, 58, said the workshop, entitled “Sexuality Enhancement in the Later Years,” helps older adults learn how to satisfy their emotional needs by adjusting to normal physical limitations.

Learning About Sex

The seminar covers general knowledge of sexuality, the human response cycle, related effects of functional changes, prescription drugs and masturbation, she said.

Participants at the two-hour sessions, held on Fridays at Antioch University of Los Angeles in Venice, range in age from 55 to 80.

Buxbaum, a former intern at UCLA’s Human Sexuality Clinic, said older adults must understand normal body changes and physical limitations that result from aging.

“The body responds slower and requires more stimulation,” she said. “Older adults must understand the effects of biological changes and medication while making needed adjustments.”

The elderly have been stereotyped as “non-sexual, too fragile and disinterested in sex,” Buxbaum said.

Different Emphasis

Older adults must learn to emphasize experience and the quality of sex instead of performance and a youthful appearance, Buxbaum said.

“A healthy sex life requires understanding that sex is an act, but sexuality is how we feel about ourselves,” she said.

Senior citizens often experience low self-esteem and feel inhibited by their children, Buxbaum said. Many adults feel uncomfortable knowing that their parents are sexually active, she said.

“Even as adults, children believe their parents had sex for procreation only,” she said. “It can be rather insensitive, but they (grown children) forget that their parents have sexual needs too.”

‘Support Forum’

Buxbaum called the sexuality workshop a “support forum” where senior citizens can receive factual information while discussing personal experiences.

The workshop, started in 1983, originally was for men who were experiencing sexual dysfunction, a center spokeswoman said.

Executive Director Bernice Bratter called the current program an outgrowth of needs voiced by women during peer counseling sessions and health examinations.

“Our goal is to provide information and support that the older adult needs to have a more satisfying life,” she said.

Buxbaum said senior citizens have a major advantage--leisure time--which should be used to experiment and to make adjustments based on their limitations.

“The older you are, the longer you love, the more you learn,” she said.