‘WE BROKE DOWN’ : Bird, Who Made One of Five Shots in the Third Quarter, Says He Should Have Scored More Points

There are things you’ve come to expect from the Boston Celtics: Ugly shoes, loud fans, wily graybeards who know how to cheat destiny, heartbreak when it’s your destiny they’ve cheated.

There is something you don’t expect from the Celtics: Coming apart in the middle of a big game, running around like miscreants who’ve forgotten everything they ever learned from Red on Roundball. But that’s what happened Sunday.

They went up in a puff of smoke in a 30-12 third period, losing their poise, their 56-51 halftime, Game 6 and the NBA finals.

When was the last time you saw a Celtic team helpless even to get off a decent shot? When was the last time you saw Larry Bird just let it happen?

“Oh yeah,” said Bird, asked if he thought they’d lost their poise. “We broke down.”

“Our offensive assignments broke down. We didn’t get nowhere. We didn’t get back on defense.”

And, oh yeah, he thought he should have done more to stop it, too.

With few exceptions, it was a true team effort. The major exception was Dennis Johnson who remained lucid through the period. Darren Daye hit the only shot he attempted. Everyone else stunk.

From the Celtic perspective, here’s how it went:

Ahead, 56-51, Bird misses a 20-footer.

Ahead, 56-53, with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar having just gone to the bench with four fouls, Dennis Johnson misses from 17.

Still ahead, 56-53, Bird misses a medium-range jumper. Kevin McHale gets the rebound, then misses on an awkward lunge to the basket. Robert Parish gets the rebound and misses a six-foot jumper.

Ahead, 56-55, McHale throws the pass that James Worthy steals and, while diving over the sideline, bats the ball to Magic Johnson for an uncontested stuff.

Down, 57-56, after a timeout which is supposed to result in some return of rationality, Danny (Tryin’ One) Ainge forces up a 17-footer and misses. Remember that name.

Down, 59-56, Parish throws a pass away.

Still down, 59-56, Ainge looks for McHale inside, sees the Lakers take that away and launches from three-point range. Another miss.

Still down, 59-56, Ainge in a one-man imitation of a Chinese infantry human wave assault, charges on a fast break. They’re now up to eight possessions, nine shots and no points.

Down, 61-56, Dennis Johnson scores on a drive through the lane.

Down, 61-58, McHale is called for pushing off on Mychal Thompson in the low post.

Still down, 61-58, Bird forces a 12-footer on the run. Brick.

Down, 63-58. McHale tries a whirling 12-footer. That’s not his shot, either. Cinder block.

Down, 65-58, Parish, fouled, misses two free throws.

Down, 69-58, Johnson hits a 17-footer. In all, Dennis will go 2 for 5 in this period, with 6 points. The rest of the team will go 3 for 14 with 6 points.

Down, 69-60, Daye, on a 1-on-3 fast break, tries a 10-footer anyway and makes it.

Down, 71-62, Bill Walton tries to force a pass through the Laker defense, which is holding a seminar in the lane. Magic Johnson intercepts but any of three Lakers might have.

We segue to the end of the period for the last Celtic possession:

Down, 81-68, Sam Vincent, sent in just for this play to create something, creates, appropriately enough, a turnover.

If all this reflects badly on everyone, special attention goes to Bird. Great players are supposed to intervene in time of need. Even if they miss, they’re supposed to step up and try.

Bird, greatest of the greats, took five shots in the period and scored one basket.

“I should have scored more points in the third period,” he said. “I should have taken over. I kept thinking about the first half, when we played so well.

“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether to take over on the scoring end or keep playing the same way we’d been playing.

“I did that once before.”

When was that?

“I don’t want to get into that,” Bird said, grinning. “We lost that game, too.”

In general, the Celtics took it well. Maybe it was because they had the entire second half to get used to it?

Because they had the half-hour before their dressing room was opened to cool down?

Because they knew they’d been on borrowed time all along?

“The Lakers are far and away the better team,” Celtic Coach K. C. Jones said. “They won 65 games in the regular season. They came into the playoffs on a roll. They rolled over everybody. They rolled over us in the first two games.

“Would we have won with Bill Walton and Scott Wedman? You can’t get into if-this and if-that. I’m not going to take anything away from the Lakers.

“We’re not down. We’re disappointed. The experts said there was no way we’d get to the finals. The experts said we wouldn’t get past the second round. But with these players’ heart and effort, we got here.

“They’ve got too much heart, they expected to win this game. But heads down? No.

“That third period? That was the Lakers’ fault. They came out the third quarter--I guess Pat (Riley) said something at halftime, or they said they didn’t want a seventh game--they came out overplaying on defense, aggressive. They did the same things in the first half, but they were much more aggressive.

“Then it was Roadrunner time. Box out, get the ball, get it to Magic and he says ‘Beep-beep.’ ”

What was there left to say?

Bird made the long-awaited appeal for bench help.

“They’re going to make some changes,” he said. “We know what we need. I’m sure Red (Auerbach) is going to go out and get some horses in here. But if Bill Walton comes back and Scott Wedman comes back, what more do we need?

Assurance, for one thing. Walton, who played little, and Wedman, who played 78 minutes in the entire season, are both 34.

“We’re all in this to win a championship. We didn’t win a championship. But I think we went through some things that will only help this team in the future. If one or two guys go down, we’ll know we can keep going.

“But we’ll still be considered a loser. We didn’t win the big ring. . . .”

Late in the afternoon, Bird was talking wistfully about Game 4, the one that turned this series westward for good, the one Magic won.

Will Bird be seeing that hook in his dreams.

‘Nah,” he said, shrugging.

“You don’t dream of hook shots?”

“Nah,” said Bird, smiling. “Just jumpers. Three-pointers with three guys hangin’ on me.”