For White, Drink Led to Relapse : Finally, He Talks About His Aug. 21 Arrest Nightmare

Charles White doesn’t remember all the details of Aug. 21. He remembers leaving the Rams’ training camp in Fullerton the previous night with a man he wouldn’t identify. They went someplace in Brea.

White said he hadn’t used cocaine in about six months before that day. But he had been drinking, which triggers a relapse in many drug abusers.

“Alcohol plays a role for most recovering addicts,” White said. “People go out and say they can have a little drink, and next thing you know . . . “

The next thing White knew, he was mixing booze with cocaine, a combustible combination. Doctors told him later that he reacted so violently because his body was not ready for such a shock.

“I have never been at the point where I was so paranoid that I was thinking something was going to happen to me,” White recalled. “I definitely flipped out or tripped out for that time being. . . . My brain just started brainstorming about a lot of things, and I said this is not the right place for me, and I said as soon as I could find the opportunity to get out of there, I’d just start running. And that’s what happened.”

White broke free in Brea and was headed for nowhere in particular. He was arrested when he was found wandering in a field near the corner of Brea Boulevard and Lambert Road, screaming incoherently and brandishing a trash can lid.

“I just took off,” he said. “I can remember stopping at a bank or something and just picking (the lid) up for protection, for whatever reason. The things that I was going through--the paranoia state--that’s how I got the trash can lid.”

White spent the weekend at Centinela Hospital Medical Center and later that week issued a written statement of apology. Under the condition that he be tested daily for drug use for the rest of his career, White rejoined the team on Aug. 26.

It has taken him nearly three months to speak publicly about the incidents leading to his arrest and the series of events that followed.

Although Aug. 21 might have been the lowest point in his life, this season and this week in particular have been highs. Clean highs for a change, the kind evoked by reading his name at the top of a list for NFL rushers. This season has been more than a roller coaster ride for White, it has been an emotional slam dance.

“It’s more gratifying this year because a lot of things have happened to me, all the negative and now the positive,” White said. “If I could have foreseen the future, it would be like, ‘Wow, I couldn’t see that happening.’ All of a sudden, things have just turned around.”

And for that, White is grateful. Thursday, he apologized for his behavior to fans, friends and even reporters, whom he said he purposely avoided because of embarrassment, anger and resentment.

“I felt I did my thing on the field and that should speak more than what I have to say,” White said. “Everyone’s going to try and identify me with Eric Dickerson because he’s been in this offense so long. When you think of the Rams, you think of Eric Dickerson running the ball.

“Everyone says Charles White is a has-been, but now eyes are starting to open up, and guys are saying, ‘This guy can still play.’ ”

He could last Sunday, when he gained 213 yards in 34 carries against the St. Louis Cardinals. White leads the NFL with 703 yards and is headed toward his first 1,000-yard season since joining the league with the Cleveland Browns in 1980.

White, admittedly, had a lot to prove when the Rams signed him as a free agent in 1985. He came with a history of drug problems dating to his days at USC.

He also came back with a reputation as the coach’s favorite son, John Robinson having coached White all the way to the Heisman Trophy at USC.

“A lot of people were saying that because of what I’ve done for (Robinson) in the past, that’s the reason why I’m on the team,” White said. “But I want people to see that I can play ball. He knows that, and I know that.

“When I first came here, I was John Robinson’s boy--he’s going to come here and automatically play. The first year I really had to go out and gain respect from the guys.”

But White also knows life might have been quite different without Robinson. White admitted that most teams would have released him after his latest episode with drugs.

“I have a lot of respect for him,” White said of Robinson. “I mean how many chances do you get to do the things that I’ve done. You talk about lucky, fortunate. I’ve got a chance to do what I want to be doing. I’m grateful for John, I’m grateful for the Ram organization. These aren’t just words, these are words that are coming from the heart.”

White, for now, is repaying the Rams the only way he knows how. He likes to point to 703 yards in particular.

“It helps,” White said of his rushing total. “It’s getting the opportunity to play, to achieve on the field. The last two wins we’ve had, I’ve gained 166 yards (against Pittsburgh during the strike) and 213. I saw a big smile on (Robinson’s) face after the game, so I guess it’s gratifying for him, and me also.”

White, who recently faced misdemeanor charges for being under the influence of a controlled substance, will soon enter a six-month drug-diversion program in Mission Viejo. If White makes it through with no further relapses, charges against him will be dropped.

White also attends therapy sessions as an outpatient in West Covina under the supervision of Dr. Forest Tennant, the NFL’s drug adviser.

What White hopes never to forget is that being a drug addict is never easy and it’s never over.

After his first bout with cocaine, with the Browns in 1982, White joined the Inner Circle program developed by then-coach Sam Rutigliano. He discontinued after-care treatment after arriving in Anaheim.

“I just got away from my program and it eventually caught up with me,” he said. “At the time, I said, ‘Well, I wish I could go back to a program,’ but it was too late.”

White says he knows the days of going out with players for even a social drink are over.

“I’ve been out there before and I know the best thing for me is to just go home,” he said. “I’ve got a lovely wife and five kids that I really took advantage of.”

White would just as soon forget Aug. 21. But he knows it’s more important that he remember.

“When you get in an environment where you know there are going to be drugs and alcohol around, well, you can’t put yourself in that environment,” he said.

“Because you’re still trying to rebuild, and get strong. You can’t stop people from drinking or doing drugs, but you want to build yourself to the point where, if you get yourself in that situation, you’ll know what to do. I’ll know how to handle it now. I’m still fresh from the box again. I’m starting all over again.”

Ram Notes

Tight end Greg Baty, acquired by the Rams from the New England Patriots on waivers this week, will probably be activated for Monday night’s game at Washington. “He can definitely catch the ball,” Coach John Robinson said. Baty had 31 receptions last season for 331 yards and 2 touchdowns. . . . Because of Mike Lansford’s sore back, punter Dale Hatcher may have to kickoff against the Redskins. . . . Defensive end Shawn Miller, who has missed the last three games with an ankle injury, practiced for the first time in several weeks Thursday but is still listed as questionable. . . . Because of his back problems, guard Dennis Harrah will probably practice only once a week for the rest of the season. . . . Add Charles White: He said that when he came to the Rams, the team “featured somebody that had good abilities running the ball.” Of course, he was referring to Eric Dickerson. “I’m one of those guys that has the same ability,” White said. “I’m not as fast and I’m not as big but I can do the job.”