With Holiday Cheer, One Does Surely Aver Wishes for New Year

Merry Christmas, Larry Mize,

Frank Viola, Jerry Rice.

Season’s greetings, Bobby Knight,

King Kong Bundy, Charles White.

Hey, John Elway, you were awesome.

Goes for you, too, Andre Dawson.

Congratulations, Dennis Conner,

Our boat won, and you were on her.

Never fear, Navratilova,

It isn’t over till it’s over.

Just because this Steffi Graf’s fast,

Doesn’t mean that you can’t laugh last.

Beware of sluggers; they hit back, man.

Leonards, Sugar Ray and Hac Man.

Beware of runners; they’re unnervin’.

Johnsons, Ben and Magic (Earvin).

Always nice to see Bob Costas,

And James Garner, with his Mazdas.

Willie Banks and Gary Gaetti,

Dale Earnhardt, Dave Righetti.

Ozzie Smith, your play was flawless.

You weren’t so bad yourself, Tom Lawless.

Warmest wishes, Don McPherson.

Bob Bourne, likewise, and to your son.

Here’s to Alysheba’s legs,

Also to both Roger Craigs’.

Happy New Year to Hulk Hogan,

Charles Barkley and Fred Roggin.

Sorry to Toronto’s Blue Jays,

The season was too long by two days.

Condolences to Alan Trammell,

An MVP should grace your mantle.

Lorenzo, that was some great game.

If only you’d had it at Notre Dame.

Syracuse, your team lost none.

Columbia, you won not one.

An upset big as Arthur Ashe’s,

At Wimbledon was Patrick Cash’s.

Those betting Lendl did not expect,

That Cash was better than the Czech.

Though McEnroe, he won no majors,

His tongue was sharp as two Bic razors.

He worked himself into a lather,

So’d the CBS News, without Dan Rather.

Dick Howser, for your soul we’re praying,

Jim Fitzgerald, Don McMahon.

Boxing mourns you, Aileen Eaton.

You lost the fight, but stayed unbeaten.

Smile, Tom Kelly, your team wins!

You and Berenguer sure aren’t identical Twins.

Nice goin’, Al Rosen, you Giant executive.

And you, too, Paul Molitor, for 39 consecutive.

Well done, Phil Simms, Tim Brown, Tom Watson.

Good luck in the Bronx, Richard Dotson.

Goodby, Phil Niekro, and thanks for the memory.

P.S.: Tell your brother, thanks for the emery.

Feliz Nuevo, Fernandez, and you, too, George Bell.

You might not like us, George, but we think you’re swell.

Hooray for Ron Hextall, a goalie deluxe;

He shoots, as well as stops, the pucks.

Happy holidays, Michael Spinks.

You, too, Gene Shue, and you, Jim Finks.

Yo, Charlie Kerfeld, come back and see us.

This also applies to Reggie Theus.

Regards to the Davises, Jody and Chili.

And Eric, and Storm, and Alvin, and Willie.

Hi, Lori McNeil, a young whiz at tennis.

Not to you, though, Mr. Rodman--Anyone for Dennis?

To Gardner and Sierens, NBC’s Gayles of the air.

May the press box be yours, anytime, anywhere.

Here’s to Dominique Wilkins, and Lafayette Lever.

And we like you, Jim Palmer, but enough about Weaver!

Keep playing, Bo Jackson, wherever you please.

Keep typing, Slap Maxwell, we’re down on our knees.

Keep talking, Vin Scully, we’ll keep tuning in.

Keep swinging, Darrell Evans. You, too, Tony Gwynn.

A toast to ‘87, a pretty good year for years.

Which reminds me: Hi to Norm and Cliff, and all the guys at “Cheers”.

I’d like to think that ’88 will be as good, my friend.

At least I won’t have to pay six bucks to sit through “Ishtar” again.