In Spring, We Recall Fine Lines

Spring training is upon us once again, which is a good excuse to turn over today’s Morning Briefing to some selected one-liners from the “Voices of Baseball” by Bob Chieger.

Jim Bouton, Seattle Pilot pitcher, claiming Joe Schultz would have been a better manager if he understood more: “Of course, if he understood more, he might not have been a manager.”

Edward T. Murphy, Brooklyn sportswriter: “Overconfidence may have cost the Dodgers sixth place.”

Dale Cole, pitcher, after being sold by the Chicago Cubs to the Philadelphia Phillies: “That’s too bad, they’re the only team I can beat.”

Casey Stengel, New York Yankee manager, to Whitey Ford and Mickey Mantle during the 1962 World Series: “If you’re trying to outdrink San Francisco, you’re overmatched.”

Bill Lee, Montreal pitcher, on his banana diet: “Did you ever see a monkey with a cramp?”

Yogi Berra, on his declining batting average: “Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

Reggie Jackson, on a home run in Boston’s Fenway Park: “It was an insurance run, so I hit it to the Prudential Building.”

Joe Trimble, sportswriter, on first baseman Nick Etten: “Nick Etten’s glove fields better with Nick Etten out of it.”

Rick Monday, Dodger outfielder, on Mike Ivie, flaky first baseman for the San Francisco Giants: “Mike Ivie is a $40 million airport with a $30 control tower.”

Steve Garvey, Dodger first baseman, on Manager Tom Lasorda: “I’ve heard all his old jokes--in three languages.”

Tom Lasorda, asked what was holding up negotiations with Fernando Valenzuela: “He wants Texas back.”

Ron Guidry, New York Yankee pitcher: “If you approach Billy Martin right, he’s OK. I avoid him altogether.”

Charles Durning, actor, portraying Casey Stengel in a Broadway play: “It’s the first role I’ve ever played in a foreign language.”

Eddie Stanky, Brooklyn Dodger infielder, after negotiations with Branch Rickey: “I got a million dollars’ worth of advice and a very small raise.”

Charles Bricker, San Jose sportswriter: “If you prefer baseball in slow motion, don’t miss George Foster chasing a double into the left-field corner.”

Ray Kroc, San Diego Padre owner: “I signed Oscar Gamble on the advice of my attorney. I no longer have Gamble and I no longer have my attorney.”

Catfish Hunter, on Reggie Jackson: “He’d give you the shirt off his back. Of course, he’d call a press conference to announce it.”

Steve McCatty, Oakland A’s pitcher, on Charlie Finley’s heart surgery: “It took 8 hours, 7 1/2 just to find his heart.”

Tokie Lockhart, after her grandson, Len Barker, pitched a perfect game: “Tell Len I’m very proud of him. I hope he does better next time.”