NHL Preview : A Puckish Look at the Season Ahead

There is more to the coming National Hockey League season than “the trade,” although it is still true that except for Peter Pocklington, Canadians would sooner have gone skinny-dipping in Hudson Bay in February than have sent Wayne Gretzky to Los Angeles.

With Gretzky, of course, the Kings are hoping to be playing something besides beach ball come April. And even without Gretzky, the Edmonton Oilers are bidding to win their fifth Stanley Cup in the last six seasons.

Prediction: Both the Kings and Oilers will realize those goals.

As for the rest of the NHL, here are some highlights, lowlights and incidentals to help you through the next 8 months of shinny:

Best comeback: Guy Lafleur, inducted into the Hall of Fame a month ago, is coming down off his pedestal to skate for the New York Rangers. Lafleur, 37, retired from the Montreal Canadiens 4 years ago. “I feel I can play all 80 games--no problem,” Lafleur said.

Lafleur, tantalized by the idea of playing alongside Gretzky, called King General Manager Rogie Vachon first, but Vachon wasn’t interested.

What did Gretzky think?

“Nobody asked me,” Gretzky said. “But he’ll play and he’ll play well.”

The Rangers are a little short on up-and-coming goal scorers. Their top returning scorer is that young pup, Marcel Dionne, 37, who was the No. 2 player drafted overall 17 years ago behind . . . Guy Lafleur.

The last coach you’d want to meet at the end of a dark alley: Paul Holmgren, Philadelphia’s first-year coach. Holmgren, who played for the Flyers when they were the Broad Street Bullies, retired with more than 1,700 minutes in penalties.

The first coach you’d want to meet if you were in a dark alley with Paul Holmgren: Pat Burns of Montreal. Burns, 36, who is replacing Jean Perron, is a former police detective who served for 16 years in Quebec’s Gatineau region.

A moment of silence for: Frank Zamboni. The inventor of the ice-resurfacing machine died this summer at age 87 in Long Beach.

Hail and farewell: To future Hall of Famers Denis Potvin, who retired after 15 seasons, and his New York Islanders teammate Mike Bossy, who abandoned any comeback hopes after sitting out all of last season with a bad back.

Best reason not to become a hockey agent: Ron Salcer, the agent for Minnesota North Stars holdout Dino Ciccarelli, received a 28-page typewritten letter from the team’s attorney, outlining why Minnesota wouldn’t pay Ciccarelli what he was asking.

Best reason to become a hockey agent: Wayne Gretzky’s 8-year contract worth about $20 million.

The Larry Robinson Award for most creative off-season injury: Ranger goalie John Vanbiesbrouck, who put his hand through a glass table.

Robinson, you may recall, was injured playing polo.

Best reason for A. Bartlett Giamatti to be a King fan: Bob Kudelski. The Kings’ right winger, like baseball’s commissioner-to-be, is from Yale. Unlike Giamatti, however, Kudelski wasn’t sure of a job at press time.

Best reason to have sympathy for Peter Pocklington: There isn’t one.

General manager most likely to admire Fred Claire: Gord Stellick of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Stellick, 31, was never a sportswriter, as Claire once was, but he has worked in the Leafs’ publicity office since he was 18.

Players most in need of good starts: 1. Jimmy Carson. 2. Rollie Melanson. 3. Guy Lafleur.

Best story about the Wayne Gretzky trade that probably isn’t true: An Edmonton reporter, wondering what linemate Jari Kurri thought about the deal, called Finland to find out. Kurri wasn’t around, but Kurri’s wife was crying when she answered the phone.

Best reasons to ban beer from all dressing rooms: 1. Bob Probert 2. Petr Klima. Probert and Klima were among the seven Detroit Red Wings who broke curfew during a drinking spree before a playoff game in Edmonton. Both players were sent to the minors, then suspended, after defying Coach Jacques Demers this fall.

“I’ve been having a few drinks here and there,” Probert told the Detroit News during the summer. “But that’s my business. In my opinion, I don’t think I have a problem.”

Cities with the biggest reason to hate Bruce McNall: 1. Edmonton. 2. Vancouver. The Canucks’ only objective this season was to beat out the Kings for the last playoff spot in the Smythe Division. No chance of that happening now.

Best reason for McNall to pay $15 million for Gretzky: The Kings played in 6 of the 10 games that drew the smallest crowds in the NHL last season.

Maybe he should tie one hand behind his back: Gretzky has scored more short-handed goals, 38, in the last 5 seasons than any other NHL player.

Best new rule: A player receiving a major penalty for injuring an opponent by high-sticking, slashing, butt-ending, cross-checking or spearing will get an automatic game misconduct this season. A second offense will result in an additional 1-game suspension. Suspensions are increased by 1 game for each successive infraction.

Best Christmas present to send Peter Pocklington: A videotape of any of Janet Jones’ movies: “Flamingo Kid,” “A Chorus Line,” “Police Academy IV.”

Best reason to stamp out goons: Ed Hospodar. In 42 games with the Buffalo Sabres last season, Hospodar had 0 goals, 1 assist, and 98 penalty minutes, for a league-leading penalty minutes-to-points-scored ratio of 98 to 1. Honorable mention goes to Larry Playfair of the Kings: 0 goals, 7 assists, 197 penalty minutes. Statistics courtesy of Paul Ladewski, Inside Sports.

Best record that may be broken this season: Gretzky needs 182 points to surpass Gordie Howe as the all-time scorer in NHL history. Marcel Dionne is 103 points away from Howe’s record of 1,850.

Funniest man in the NHL: John Ziegler. As they loved to say during last spring’s blackout in Boston Garden, “Be sure to turn out the lights, John, before you leave.”

Ex-U.S. Olympian who most deserves a better deal: Ed Olczyk, class of ’84. Olczyk, who could have been a King until Rogie Vachon traded the rights to him to get goalie Bob Janecyk, who has since been cut, was traded by his hometown team, the Chicago Blackhawks, to the pitiful Toronto Maple Leafs, for whom he scored 42 goals.

Olczyk is not without his detractors, however. One national magazine said the winger played like a ballerina in a linebacker’s body. Ouch.

Best reasons to root for glasnost: Brilliant Soviet defensemen Viacheslav Fetisov and Alexei Kasatonov, still waiting for the green light to play for the New Jersey Devils.

Best reason to stock some Stolichnaya on New Year’s Eve: The Kings will play host to Dynamo Riga, one of the Soviet Union’s top clubs, at the Forum on Dec. 31, part of what is being called “Super Series ‘88-89.”

Best reason not to like the NHL’s new TV contract: The league switched from ESPN to Sports-channel, which isn’t available in Los Angeles.

Lousiest practice rink in North America: The Kings’ Culver City rink. “The worst building in the history of architecture,” King Jim Fox said, laughing. “I’ve seen better ice on my windshield.”

Hockey player most deserving of more publicity: Hakan Loob, Calgary. All the Swedish right wing did last season was score 50 goals, roll up 106 points, and have a plus-minus rating of plus 41. Runner-up: Cam Neely, Boston, 42 goals, +30, and he’s not a guy you want to mess with, as his 175 penalty minutes attest.

He got mad . . . and he got even: Edmonton defenseman Steve Smith, ridiculed for putting the puck into his own net during the playoffs 2 seasons ago, led Oiler defensemen in scoring and finished second in penalty minutes among NHL defensemen.

Rookie of the year: Sean Burke, New Jersey goalie. Runner-up: Craig Janney, Boston defenseman.

Scoring leader: 1. Wayne Gretzky. 2. Mario Lemieux. 3. Jimmy Carson.

Hart Trophy (MVP): 1. Mark Messier. 2. Gretzky. 3. Lemieux.

Comeback player of the year: Bobby Carpenter, Kings. Playing with Gretzky, he’ll score 50 goals again after slumping to 19 last season.

Coach most likely to be fired before Christmas: John Brophy, Toronto. Brophy was a tough guy as a player, but he never had to fight a whole team before.

Coach of the year: Terry O’Reilly, Boston.

Stanley Cup champion: Edmonton.

Division champions: 1. Boston (Adams). 2. Washington (Patrick). 3. Calgary (Smythe). 4. Detroit (Norris).

Teams that won’t make the playoffs: Vancouver, Toronto, Quebec, New York Rangers, Pittsburgh.

Most improved team: Kings. Runner-up: New Jersey.

Teams ripe for a slide: 1. Islanders. Only Ken Morrow, Billy Smith and Bryan Trottier remain from the team that won four straight Stanley Cups from 1980-83. 2. Philadelphia. 3. Winnipeg. 4. Detroit (see Bob Probert, Petr Klima).

Best reason to pick the Oilers to win the Cup: Glen Sather is the only active coach in the NHL to have coached a Stanley Cup winner. Sather has coached four.

Second-best reason to pick the Oilers: Grant Fuhr. Runner-up: Mark Messier, Kevin Lowe, Jari Kurri, Craig Simpson, Glenn Anderson, Jimmy Carson, Esa Tikkanen.

Will somebody please give an award, any award, to a Vancouver Canuck: The Canucks have been in the league for more than 20 years, and not one of their players has won an award.

All-Name, All-Star team: Gretzky, Lafleur, Howe (Mark), and Hull (Brett).

Best dueling brothers: general manager class; Phil Esposito, Rangers; Tony Esposito, Penguins.

General manager most likely to buy the Brooklyn Bridge: Phil Esposito. In his first 2 years as GM, Esposito made 34 trades, and the Rangers still finished out of the playoffs.

General managers best equipped to solve their team’s goaltending problems: 1. Rogie Vachon, Kings. 2. Tony Esposito, Penguins. They may both come out of retirement by Christmas.

Most memorable anniversary: Bobby Orr retired in November, 10 years ago.