There’s No Fool Like an Old Fool

It’s the oldest scam in the National Football League, but rookies continue to fall for it. Before Thanksgiving, the word goes out that free turkeys will be available to team members at a certain place at a certain time.

When the players show up, of course, there are no free turkeys. In fact, there are no turkeys, period. The players have been hoodwinked.

This year, the New England Patriots embellished the scam by secretly filming the whole bit, a la “Candid Camera.” When the video was shown, there were howls of delight as the players were exposed on the screen.

The rookies were embarrassed, but most red-faced of all was a player among them who should have known better. He was Russ Francis, the tight end. Francis is 35.

Former Duke quarterback Ben Bennett, who played for Chicago’s Arena Football team, has been signed by the Chicago Bears as a backup.

Asked about his first day, Bennett said: “Besides the fact that the plays were numbered backward for me, the backs take the ball differently, I was freezing my butt off, all the guys around me were big and strong and fast, the field was twice as long and there were no walls or nets . . .

“Besides that, everything went real well.”

Add Bennett: Calling the first practice a humbling experience, he said: “You just don’t walk out there and tell somebody to play catch with you. You kind of hope they will say, ‘Would you like me to play catch with you?’

“Hey, I’m just a freshman. I’ll be carrying bags and buying doughnuts.”

Trivia Time: What three schools have had consecutive Heisman Trophy winners? (Answer below.)

Ouch: Wrote Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe after Benoit Benjamin of the Clippers put the rap on Portland Trail Blazers Coach Mike Schuler: “When Benoit Benjamin establishes himself as a legitimate professional by playing one full season without being classified as a 7-foot Bow-Wow, then he will have the right to complain to the NBA office about the behavior of another NBA party.”

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham, after diving over a couple of defenders to score against the Pittsburgh Steelers, said he borrowed the technique from brother Sam (Bam) Cunningham, former USC and New England Patriots fullback.

“He told me, ‘You either go through them or over them,’ and I wasn’t about to go through them,” Cunningham said.

Trivia Answer: Yale (Larry Kelley, Clint Frank), Army (Doc Blanchard, Glenn Davis) and Ohio State (Archie Griffin, Archie Griffin). Note: USC had three straight, but one of them was from the University of South Carolina (George Rogers), flanked by two from the University of Southern California (Charles White and Marcus Allen).

Quotebook

Notre Dame football Coach Lou Holtz, asked what effect the suspension of two players for being late to a team meal had on the team’s punctuality: “At pregame meal on Saturday morning, our guys came and watched them prepare it.”