Dazed Residents Struggle With Feeling of Hopelessness as They Survey Ruins

First came fear, as the firestorms powered by ferocious winds raced toward their homes. Then disbelief, as the flames reduced their houses and possessions to cinders within hours.

In the fires’ aftermath, victims of Thursday’s blazes--whether in a Baldwin Park barrio or an affluent hillside community in the La Verne area--were struggling with feelings of despair and helplessness as they tried to begin to rebuild their homes and their lives.

The fires destroyed 14 homes in Baldwin Park and eight in La Verne and unincorporated county areas nearby.

“I was doing pretty good, until I walked in the house today,” said Doreen Castro, whose home near La Verne was destroyed. “Where do I begin? It’s almost like I want to walk away and not deal with it.”

The despair was most acutely felt Friday in Baldwin Park, where many of those left homeless were renters with no insurance. After being kept away from their homes the day before, these residents scavenged through the rubble, trying to comprehend that everything they had owned was gone.

“It happened so quickly that we just had to get out,” said Daniel Chavez, 58, whose rental home on California Avenue in Baldwin Park was destroyed. “We didn’t have time to get nothing.”

Chavez looked down at the charred skeleton of a queen-sized mattress. The blackened area where he stood had been the master bedroom of the home he had shared with his wife, daughter and three grandchildren. Family members poked at a nearby pile of ashes but found nothing.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” said Chavez, a welder whose losses included more than $8,000 worth of torches and other equipment. “I’ve never been in this kind of predicament.”

View the Ruins

A couple doors down the street, Ignacio and Hermila Montero stood in the driveway of the ruins that had been their rental house. Next to them were a portable barbecue, a scattering of tools and a box of laundry detergent.

“That’s all there is,” said Ignacio Montero, who is unemployed. “We’ll start again. We’ll work hard, make everything back.”

Even for those who were insured for the damage to their homes, the prospect of starting over again is painful. Since the last embers were doused, most homeowners have been nervously waiting for insurance adjusters to determine how much of their losses will be covered.

For Gail and David Crown, whose home on St. Mark Avenue in an unincorporated area near La Verne was destroyed, the waiting has been almost as traumatic as seeing their home go up in flames.

The Crowns’ insurance agent stopped by the day of the fire, but by the next morning an adjuster had not arrived. Their only visitors were friends and a steady flow of gawkers, reporters and repair contractors.

“All we can do is wait,” Gail Crown said. “I can’t cope with it.”

Baldwin Park homeowners Juan and Mariana Acosta are depending on a public adjuster to obtain relocation money quickly from their insurance company. The adjuster will charge them a 10% fee, but the Acostas said they are willing to pay the price to find a new place as soon as possible.

“I’m living with my brother-in-law right now,” Acosta said. “There’s no room. We have three families (in a two-bedroom house).”

Although many fire victims have moved in with relatives, about 60 Baldwin Park residents remained in a nearby Red Cross shelter Thursday night.

The Baldwin Park Pavilion’s store donated $5,000 in food to fire victims, providing dinner last night and breakfast today for 75 people at the Red Cross shelter set up at Jerry D. Holland Junior High School. United Way agencies have contributed $5,000 worth of clothing for residents whose belongings were destroyed in the fire.

Even those homeowners who have received immediate service from their insurance companies were overwhelmed by their losses and feelings of helplessness.

Donald Fritz’s insurance company arrived the day of the fire but did little to ease his anxiety.

“Everything seems to be out of my control,” he said. “I’m so confused I don’t know what to do.”

The lack of sleep and worry about more high winds have also taken their toll.

Since fire gutted her home, Castro said she has gotten only a few hours of nervous sleep in a camper parked in the driveway. She said she stayed awake most of Thursday night thinking of the fire and listening to the buffeting winds.

“Every time I close my eyes I see the house ablaze,” she said. “The hardest thing has been having enough stamina to keep going. I’m so tired.”

Most of the fire’s victims were still coming to grips with how swift and thorough the fire had been.

Fernando Montero said the only item he was able to save as the fire approached his brother’s Baldwin Park house was his immigration green card.

Out of all their possessions, Carol and Jim Wiley managed to salvage an odd collection of mementos: a coffee mug, a plate, a 100-year-old gold chain, an autographed baseball, a bag of dog food.

“They say you can replace everything, but you can’t,” Carol Wiley said. “Nothing could have prepared us to lose 30 years of our lives.”

Despite their losses, victims on Friday were beginning to pick up the pieces of their lives.

The Acostas said they will rebuild their home on California Avenue in Baldwin Park, albeit reluctantly.

“My family is really scared,” Acosta said. “They are afraid the same thing will happen again. They don’t want to come back here, but I think we have to.”

Carol Wiley said she doubts she will ever get over the loss of her home, but she is beginning to overcome her feeling of helplessness and has started planning for the future.

On Friday, she began replacing eyeglasses, credit cards, driver’s licenses, medicines and the countless little things that others take for granted.

The day of the fire she called her parents in Florida to tell them about the disaster and to discuss their plans to fly to California to celebrate Christmas.

“We’re going to have Christmas somehow,” she said. “We’re going to be together, we just don’t know where.”