Baseball ‘89: Take These to the Bank

The Mets in the National League East, the Padres in the NL West, the Yankees in the American League East and the Athletics in the AL West.

I thought I’d start by telling you which teams would not win their division titles.

Hello again, everybody. Time for Baseball Forecast ’89. Forget all those other predictions you have heard or read--the Sporting News, Sport, Inside Sports, Outside Sports, Sports Illustrated, Sports Without Pictures, Bill Mazeroski, Dick Groat, Street & Smith, Street & Jones, Baseball Abstract, Baseball America, Baseball Digest, Baseball Wear Daily, ESPN, CNN, Margo Adams Illustrated, whatever.

Mine are the only predictions you can trust. Why? Because mine are scientific, based on facts and logic, finely crafted with up-to-date inside information. I was the guy, for instance, who told you the Dodgers would win the World Series. Of course I told you this in 1981, but let’s not be picky.

Anyhow, here’s my outlook for ’89. Tack it up someplace where you can find it in October. You will be amazed at how accurately I placed every single ballclub in exactly the correct division. Hey, babe, I know this game.

First, a disclaimer.

I do not hate New York.

I New York.

Don’t be writing me any of those letters accusing me of being from California and hating the Yankees and Mets. I am not from California. I have lived and worked there the last few years, but that’s it. Frankly, I do not think California’s teams will do any better this season than New York’s.

So, then, let’s take it around the horn:

National League East: Start with the Mets. This appears to be a deep, solid roster, yes. In my mind, though, the infield is more than a little overrated, the catching is not what it used to be, and hard telling what Darryl (Bonecrusher) Strawberry will hit this season, teammates and opponents included. Keith Hernandez is slipping, and maybe we should wait for this Jefferies kid to get 100 hits before we retire his number, OK?

I’m not crazy about the Cardinals, either. Shaky pitching. Nor the Phillies. No pitching. The Cubs might have a shot, if they ever stop making trades. Nothing wrong with this team that Lee Smith and Rafael Palmeiro couldn’t cure.

Those few who don’t favor the Mets seem to prefer the Pirates. I can understand why. There is no reason in the world Pittsburgh can’t win in this division.

THE PICK: Montreal.

National League West: My Large Margie and the Reds are supposed to be overdue to win this thing. Personally, I don’t think trading away Dennis Rasmussen is the way to take pennants. Still, I’d like to see Cincinnati win, for Pete’s sake.

Everybody loves the Padres. But how come? At this writing, they are mediocre at third base, shortstop and two outfield positions, and have a virtual rookie at second base. Have we completely forgotten how rotten this club was in last year’s first half?

The Dodgers have too many rehabilitating bodies. The Braves have too many healthy bodies. The more I look at the Giants, the more I think this team has exactly what it takes to take this division this season.

THE PICK: Houston.

American League East: Give me one good reason why anybody should pick the Yankees. Their outfield, if Winfield is ailing, is a mess. The batting average of the left side of the infield resembles a bowling average. The catching isn’t worth squat. The pitching rotation ought to be rotated--like tires.

The Tigers are set at, oh, at least one position. The Red Sox can strike with the sudden fury of a Delta Force, but beyond Clemens, their pitching strikes fear into nobody. The Brewers had a good staff until the injuries came, the worst thing that has happened to this team since the clubhouse boiler blew up.

More and more, this looks like Toronto’s year. Much depends on George Bell, who probably will hit .199 in the World Series and then claim he was denied the MVP award because he’s Dominican. As for the Orioles, everybody should get a nice three-day rest at the All-Star break.

THE PICK: Cleveland.

American League West: Oakland will not repeat. No one ever does. Something will go wrong. Jose Canseco will drive the team bus, and the whole club will be sentenced to six months of community service.

Texas has traded everyone but the President’s son. Fans, this could be the Rangers’ year!

Nahhhhh.

For Seattle, this is a rebuilding century. The Angels have too many two-handed pitchers. I look for the White Sox to improve, but then again, how could they not? The Twins should do just fine with their starting rotation of Viola, Anderson, Viola, Straker and Viola.

THE PICK: Kansas City.

As far as individual awards are concerned, I’ve got them all sorted out.

Comeback players of the year: Tony Gwynn and Wade Boggs. Both should raise their averages by 50 points, now that Gwynn has gotten rid of his irritated thumb and Boggs has gotten rid of his irritating babe.

Most valuable players: Cal Ripken, for spending another entire season with Baltimore without tearing his hair out, and Glenn Davis, for hitting 50 homers on the road and 50 balls to the warning track at home.

Rookies of the year: Sandy Alomar Jr. He will win in the National League for his work during the first half of the season, and he also will win in the American League for what he does in the second half, after the trade.