The World According to Larry Andersen . . .

Larry Andersen, the Houston Astros’ relief pitcher, throws a fastball and talks a screwball. He wonders about things most of us probably don’t ever consider:

--”What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Co.?”

--”What do they package Styrofoam in when they ship it?”

--”How do you explain counter-clockwise to someone with a digital watch?”

--”When you see a fly on the ceiling, was it flying upside down all the time, or was it flying right-side up and flipped over at the last possible second?”

Think tank: Why in the world would Andersen think about such things?

“If you spend 10 years in the minors, like I did, you have to have a sense of humor,” he said.

More Andersen-isms: “I dropped spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone.”

“I can’t tell if I’m in a groove or a rut.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your thing.”

“All I want is less to do, more time to do it in and to get paid more for not getting it done.”

Trivia time: What National Football League team outdrew every other in home paid attendance in 1988?

Book Review: Announcer Milo Hamilton asked Yogi Berra, a coach with the Houston Astros, what his new book, “Yogi: It Ain’t Over,” is about.

Said Berra: “I don’t know. I haven’t read it yet.”

For what it’s worth: The Lakers were 13-12 on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tribute nights.

Time out: Ray Buck of the Houston Post wrote a story of Yogi-isms last week that included one tale about Yogi bumping into a man carrying a grandfather clock. As Berra rubbed his shoulder, he said: “For crying out loud, why don’t you wear a wristwatch like everyone else?”

Berra insisted the story wasn’t true.

That may be, but it’s not a bad story.

Required feting: Joe Garagiola swears this one is true. When Berra was honored at a banquet in St. Louis, he said: “I want to thank everyone who made this night necessary.”

Trivia answer: The Buffalo Bills, who drew 631,181 paid customers to Rich Stadium in suburban Orchard Park, N.Y.

Add forgettable facts: According to the book, “The Baseball Superstats,” which uses on-base percentage and slugging average plus a stolen-base factor and a ballpark rating--theoretically because some ballparks are easier to hit in than others--the greatest-hitting catcher ever is . . . Gene Tenace.

Quotebook: From relief pitcher Dan Quisenberry: “I’m just a garbage man. I come in and clean up other people’s messes.”