Elvis Alive and Living in Retirement in S.D.

Next time you hear about Elvis Presley hiding out in Michigan or Muskogee or Outer Clairemont, think about Alfred Weisman.

Eight months after Presley’s reported death on Aug. 16, 1977, Weisman paid $10 to the Writers Guild of America and registered a 13-page outline for a story called “The King of Rock and Roll.”

At the time, Weisman was the proprietor of two coffee shops in Beverly Hills. His brother, Ben, was one of Elvis’ songwriters.

“The King of Rock and Roll” tells of the untimely death of rockabilly singer King Kyser. A truck driver has plastic surgery to become the new King. Then he discovers that the King is alive, overweight and hiding in a Gospel mission in Saginaw, Mich.

“He smiles that famous smile that thrilled the world,” the outline says. “He explains his bodyguard, driving his car, was the one who died in the Vegas car crash. And that for him it was a way out of the madness.”

Weisman, now 61 and retired in University City, still remembers the thud when he showed his story to the coffee shop regulars.

“They felt the idea was depressing, and that I was trying to exploit Elvis,” he said. “They said Elvis would be forgotten even before a movie could be made from the story.”

Since then life has begun to imitate Weisman’s art: The Elvis-is-alive movement has flourished and imitators have resorted to plastic surgery.

Weisman is patient. None of his other stories has been accepted by Hollywood either.

Not his “Retrial of Jesus Christ,” his “Zorgato” (about an urban Zorro who rides a motorcycle), or his “The Heterosexual Man” (about an overpopulated society that bans heterosexual contact).

“I sure hope the details of ‘The Heterosexual Man’ don’t start coming true,” he said.

The Art of Persuasion

Read ‘em and weep.

* Councilwoman Abbe Wolfsheimer got contributions from 14 SDG&E; executives after a fund-raiser organized by SDG&E; lobbyists. SDG&E; President Tom Page gave the maximum, $250.

There’s no connection, of course, but the council next month begins hearings on the planned SDG&E; sellout to Southern California Edison.

* Traffic is so bad on Interstate 5 in North County that Caltrans is installing stoplights on busy on-ramps. The latest “metered” on-ramp will be southbound from Del Mar Heights Road.

Doubtless these will no longer be needed when we get those Regional Traffic Solutions promised by San Diegans for Regional Traffic Solutions, the builders’ front group that spent $2.8 million last year to defeat growth control.

What, you say the builders haven’t yet proposed any Regional Traffic Solutions? Probably too busy building.

It’s an Old Story

A judge has ruled that Bob Switzer can be on the ballot for San Diego City Council, despite falling 17 signatures short on his nominating petition.

Judge William Pate ruled that the ability to gather signatures has nothing to do with getting elected. This is not a new discovery.

In 1892 James Friend gathered 1,100 signatures on his petition for mayor of San Diego. In the election he got fewer than 100 votes and was beaten soundly by Billy Carlson, the developer of Ocean Beach.

Friend later wrote an angry book about his loss entitled, “One Thousand Liars.”

By the Book

From the history column of Up Front, a publication of the San Diego Police Department, we offer rules culled from a 1948 manual issued to all officers:

* Don’t try to get a discount by wearing your uniform while shopping.

* Don’t chisel.

* Don’t give joy rides in squad cars to carhops and waitresses.

* Don’t hang around cafes, drive-ins, bars or other public places while on duty, flirting with female employees. “Nothing ever comes from these contacts.”

* Don’t wear your cap shoved back on your head.

* Don’t refer to prisoners as “this guy” or “this bird.”

The manual is no longer used.

It’s outdated. It doesn’t even mention doughnut shops.