Rams Scrape Up an Offense to Face Cardinals Tonight

Tonight’s exhibition between the Rams and Phoenix Cardinals starts at 8, which almost wasn’t late enough for Coach John Robinson, who was pushing for a little midnight madness.

Had wheels not spun to get deals done, he might have been the first head coach in history to roam the sidelines with a bag over his head. The mid-week game plan was to hit-’em-hard and pray for a power outage.

“A couple of days ago, we had no tight ends, no guards, no tailbacks--I mean that’s embarrassing,” Robinson said. “So we’re a little better off.”

How much? Well, the Rams have managed to piece together a starting unit that includes a tight end, two guards and a tailback. But it wasn’t easy.

So if you’re coming to Anaheim Stadium to boo, at least have an understanding.

Tight end: The Rams were down to zero before Friday’s trade with Detroit to acquire Pat Carter. In one phone call, Carter went from a team that had black-marked his position out of the playbook to a starter. Now let’s see if he can find his way to the stadium.

“He won’t stand around much,” Robinson said. “He’s got a great opportunity and he’s got to take advantage of it.”

Guards: The starters are out. Tom Newberry will rest his hamstring another week. Duval Love, who is unsigned, is presumed resting comfortably. Warren Wheat, the eighth-round pick, is doubtful with a neck injury. If he can’t make it, left guard goes to free agent Navy Tuiasasopo, who was playing basketball in Laguna Beach when Robinson called a few weeks ago: “Want to play starting guard in the National Football League?”

Tuiasasopo said yes, and shipped himself into shape.

Tony Slaton is the right guard, and apparently will open the season there if Love doesn’t sign in the next hour or two.

Tailback: The Gaston Green critique is put on hold for another week as he holds an ice pack to his left thigh, which is bruised. Second-year back Robert Delpino, who never dreamed a back could carry so many times in practice, will start and play the first half. Richard Calvin, a free agent from Washington State, should hit the field at about 9:45, which is just about right.

Meanwhile, the Greg Bell holdout rolls on and first-rounder Cleveland Gary, the 26th overall pick in the draft, rationalizes why he should make twice as much as teammate Bill Hawkins, picked five spots ahead of him.

In other news, the Rams’ first unit, due to go the first half tonight, hasn’t scored a touchdown.

Quarterback Jim Everett wonders when he can get together with his favorite receivers. He hasn’t yet thrown a pass that counts to Aaron Cox, Pete Holohan or Damone Johnson, who combined for 129 catches and 1,580 yards in 1988. Holohan and Cox have missed the first two games with injuries. Johnson is a holdout and perilously close to becoming a former starting tight end.

Robinson, thankfully, has an extra exhibition game and some time to play with. You wouldn’t want to start a regular season in this condition.

“After this week, we’ve got to start going,” he said. “If we had four (exhibition games), you’d say we had two to mess around with and two to get going. We’re using three to mess around with. After this week, we’ll get Newberry back and hopefully we’ll make some progress on (Robert) Cox and Damone and Love.”

Ram Notes

The Cardinals have their own problems. Quarterback Neil Lomax refuses to retire despite an arthritic hip. Super Bowl coach turned commentator Bill Walsh said publicly last week that Lomax is through. . . . The Cardinals’ starter at quarterback for now is Plan B retread Gary Hogeboom, who tossed three first-half interceptions in last week’s loss to Seattle. “I was really hoping Gary would have had a better first half than he had,” Phoenix Coach Gene Stallings said. “We had some interceptions, and regardless of what creates it, the quarterback is always charged with them.”

Second-year quarterback Tom Tupa worked the second half last week and completed 12 of 27 passes for 108 yards. He led the Cardinals on a 99-yard scoring drive in the fourth quarter. Hogeboom and Tupa are expected to split time tonight. Lomax will not be in uniform. . . . After one exhibition loss, Stallings appears in the head-coaching hot seat. “I try not to worry a whole lot about what I can’t do anything about,” he said. “And that’s one of them.” . . . The Rams broke training camp at Fullerton on Sunday and returned to Rams Park. They will play host to the Minnesota Vikings Saturday night in the annual Times Charity Game.