Judge Denies Woman Custody of Lesbian Ex-Lover’s Child

A judge denied parental status Friday to a lesbian seeking custody of her former lover’s young daughter but also said she believes that the issue of parental rights in such cases needs to be reviewed by the state.

Saying that the case crossed uncharted legal waters, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Dana Henry ruled that Terri Sabol, 33, had not presented evidence to show “that there was contact of such a nature or duration between (Sabol) and the child” to allow her to have parental rights to the girl.

Henry added, however, “It is absolutely imperative that the Legislature re-examine its laws” in this area.

The child, who was referred to only as “Baby B,” was conceived by Sabol’s lover after insemination using sperm from Sabol’s brother.

One of Sabol’s legal arguments was that “parental estoppel,” the bond between a child and the person who acts as a parent but is neither the biological nor adoptive parent, had been established.

While acknowledging that the child’s mother, identified only as Susan, had broken her promise that Sabol would have joint custody of the child after the couple broke up in July, 1988, the judge based her decision on the finding that the child, who turns 3 today, never “relied on” Sabol as a parent.

Citing cases of people who served as parents for six to 11 years, the judge said the common thread in precedents was a long-duration relationship.

Sabol, 33, the owner of a Long Beach hair salon, appeared stunned by the judge’s decision and broke into tears after Henry left the bench.

“I’m shocked, really shocked,” said Sabol, the only party in the case who was publicly identified.

Sabol’s attorney, Gloria Allred, had unsuccessfully argued that her client was entitled to parental rights on the grounds that she acted as a parent and bonded with the child, despite the fact that Sabol is not the biological or adoptive parent.

Allred said she will appeal the ruling.

“We are definitely filing a notice of appeal,” Allred said. “We believe that persons who are gay and lesbian have the right to be parents. Ms. Sabol became a parent in the only way that she could.”

The mother’s lawyer, Glen Schwartz, said the ruling was consistent with state law. Testimony showed that Susan was the mother and Steve Sabol was the biological father, and there is no authority to establish a third-parent privilege, he said.

Sabol and her “life partner” decided in March, 1985, that they wanted a child. Part of the decision was that Susan would carry the baby because Sabol “was in a better position to be the breadwinner,” Allred said.

Allred said Sabol supported her partner through her pregnancy and served as a parent until the women broke up in July, 1988.

Sabol claimed that by October, 1988, she was refused visitation rights and not allowed to share in making decisions involving the girl, as the women had agreed when they chose to raise a child.

Sabol filed her potentially precedent-setting lawsuit after being denied visitation rights.

“We are one of the first to have been permitted to have access to the courts to have the custody issue resolved,” Allred said.

The mother sought dismissal of the suit, but those motions were denied and the case went forward.

In addition to an appeal, Sabol could be allowed to see the child if her brother files a paternity suit and wins parental rights, Allred said.