Henry’s New Life Vs. Henry’s Old Wife : HENRY IN LOVE <i> by Marian Thurm (Bantam: $19.95, cloth; $8.95, paper; 265 pp.) </i>

“We fell in love, got married, had a baby. It’s what people do. It’s the normal course of events,” says Henry Simpson of his wife and infant daughter in “Henry in Love,” Marian Thurm’s latest novel. Actually, though, Henry and his spouse Kate are anything but typical. He’s 68 and twice divorced with a 33-year-old daughter; Kate is just 28, afire with the vitality that only youth can confer.

In this heartfelt story by the author of “Walking Distance” and “These Things Happen,” timely social and familial issues are thoughtfully examined: the disapproval caused by a May-December relationship, the pain and emptiness that occur after a divorce, child rearing, and the anguish of relatives caring for a seriously ill elderly person who slides inexorably toward death. It is greatly to Thurm’s credit that she writes about these topics so sensitively, without soap-opera pathos.

When Henry and Kate meet in Manhattan, the differences between them are nearly comical. Both are enrolled in a workshop at the Y called “Letting Go of Clutter.” Sassy Kate, an illustrator of greeting cards, acts irrepressibly upbeat, but post-divorce trauma has practically overwhelmed Henry. “Get rid of all your junk and get rid of the memories,” she instructs him, so the two tidy up Henry’s apartment, where they subsequently tumble into bed and into each other’s lives.

Their wedding is sparsely attended because all the relatives are aghast at this unlikely union. “You’re going to marry a man who can get into movie theaters at the senior-citizen rate,” Kate’s bristling father had told her, yet she sails right past such cautionary comments and triumphantly makes Henry her husband.

The Simpsons move to Maine, have an adorable baby named Darlan and experience marital bliss. Nevertheless, the trio raise eyebrows. When a puzzled saleswoman openly stares at them, Henry shows her the words on his T-shirt: “I’m the Father.”

Their peaceful existence is marred when his second ex-wife resurfaces. Flighty and shrewish, she starts missing Henry as soon as he’s hitched to Kate. Like a true femme fatale, Cynthia coaxes him to a romantic tryst in Boston, where they have an encounter that soothes past differences and leaves the second Mrs. Simpson solidly ensconced in Henry’s new life.

Nina, his daughter from his first marriage, also turns up. Angrily estranged from Henry for years, she now seeks to renew her ties with him, a process that challenges them both.

Everyone’s resilience is tested to the limit when terminal disease strikes Henry, causing him to slur his speech and his body to wither. To assist with his care, Kate hires charming Day O’Neill, a bisexual to whom she reluctantly becomes physically attracted. As death inevitably encroaches upon Henry, however, one matter takes precedence. He, Kate, Cynthia and Nina must somehow make peace with each other before his demise.

“Henry in Love” has faults. The characters are a little stereotypical--precocious child, volatile former wife, troublesome in-laws. Henry abruptly goes from health to utter prostration, all in the space of a page. Given the complexity of the relationships and situations portrayed in the novel, the conclusion seems too neat.

Still, Thurm possesses a remarkable understanding of people, which enriches this book considerably. She conveys intense, universal emotions honestly and vividly, as in a scene in which Kate wistfully fondles Henry’s clothes, knowing that soon he won’t be alive to wear them. In that brief episode, the profound pain of impending loss is searingly communicated.

“Wounds heal, but not perfectly,” muses Henry. Reading about these characters’ struggles to cope with and accept their emotional scars is a deeply rewarding experience.