He Showed Up Late Because He Had Pressing Problems

Whenever a player from the Dominican Republic is late for spring training, the patented excuse is that he had visa problems. Baltimore’s Jay Bell, brother of Toronto’s George Bell, has come up with a new one.

Wrote the Philadelphia Inquirer when Bell finally reported a week ago Thursday: “He told the Orioles he couldn’t leave before then because his wife had sent all of his clothes to the cleaners.”

Gearing up: From ESPN’s Chris Berman, who will step out of the studio to call today’s Dodger-Padre game (blacked out in L.A.): “It’ll be like driving a stick-shift car. I haven’t driven one in 10 years, but I’ll be able to find the clutch.”

Trivia time: What college has had three 70-foot shotputters?

What a kid: At the Loyola Marymount basketball banquet, Paul Westhead said of Paul Westhead Jr., who served as a third assistant coach this season: “He came up to me after our success this year and said, ‘Dad, last year you had the same players, the same staff and ran the same system. So I guess the only real difference was me.’ ”

Add Westhead: Of departing seniors Bo Kimble and Jeff Fryer, he said, “They took more shots than most teams. Correction, Jeff took more shots than most teams.”

More Westhead: As for next season, he said, “Well, for starters, we lose 87 points a game from three players, but then, as you might imagine, we’ve got lots of players with lots of shots they are just waiting to get up.”

From the baseball bible: From Moss Klein’s 1990 forecast in the Sporting News: “California’s Mark Langston will have a decent year, probably in the 17-9 range with a lot of strikeouts, but Chuck Finley will be the best left-hander in the league.”

No sweat: From Philadelphia’s Charles Barkley, shrugging off Friday night’s 114-104 loss to New York: “We don’t have to worry about facing them again, because if you know anything about sports, they won’t get by Boston in the first round.”

No tears: From Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun, noting that the Indianapolis Colts are getting little sympathy as they wrestle with the Eric Dickerson problem: “When General Manager Jim Irsay said Dickerson’s complaints were a slap in the face to the fans, Bob Ley of ESPN said, ‘Jim Irsay talking about fans. Just thought you fans in Baltimore would like to hear that.’ ”

Trivia answer: Texas A&M.; Mike Stulce threw 70-6 1/4 indoors to join Randy Matson (71-5 1/2) and Randy Barnes (71-9 1/2) as Aggie 70-footers.

Quotebook: San Francisco Manager Roger Craig, asked if the pot belly that shortstop Jose Uribe added over the winter has affected his range: “No, but it takes him a little longer to tie his shoes.”