If Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev changes...

If Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev changes his mind about snubbing L.A.--he’s scheduled to limit his June 3-4 visit to the Bay Area--Barry and the Beast are ready to welcome him.

B&B;, the morning disc jockey team at KBET radio in Santa Clarita, recently phoned the Soviet Embassy in Washington and invited Gorby to visit the Magic Mountain amusement park.

“We spoke to a nice gentleman named Vladimir and he told us he would speak to the person in charge of the itinerary,” recounted Barry, speaking on behalf of the Beast.

Gorbachev wouldn’t be the first foreign dignitary to visit Magic Mountain.

“The prime minister of New Zealand came here,” pointed out MM spokeswoman Courtney Simmons. “And since the Sultan of Brunei bought the Beverly Hills Hotel, he comes here with his family almost every month.”

From a public relations standpoint, L.A. hasn’t been on a real hot streak lately. Gorby’s avoiding us. The Grammy Awards are defecting from L.A. to New York. And NBC has announced plans for a “four-hour action-thriller” that probably won’t increase tourism.

Its title:

“The Great Los Angeles Earthquake.”

Speaking of problems . . .:

In case you were wondering, the dog-eared butterfly--not the Medfly--is California’s official insect.

Well, Tulsa ain’t ga ga over Zsa Zsa.

The Beverly Hills Cop Slapper’s Rolls-Royce, placed on the auction block in Oklahoma, drew nothing higher than a puny $23,000 bid and was withdrawn from the sale.

Terry Cooper, a spokesman for the auction, maintained that appraisers said the jalopy was worth twice that much. “Perhaps the right-wing audience didn’t respond to it,” he added.

No word on whether Zsa Zsa will be tooling the rejected Rolls through Beverly Hills again.

The Lakers were the dominant NBA team of the 1980s. But, inasmuch as they were just eliminated from the playoffs, are they the “underachievers” of the 1990s? That seems to be the sentiment reflected on the 3-year-old Laker mural that decorates a fence on Termino Avenue in Long Beach. Magic, A.C. and Co. have been joined on the mural by a young, rectangular-headed player who takes pride in being slam-dunked by life.

miscelLAny:

Sixty-seven years ago, producer Joe Schenck built a hotel on Wilshire Boulevard, naming it after his actress wife. The Talmadge Hotel is now the Talmadge Apartments. But one thing hasn’t changed. A painting of silent-screen star Norma Talmadge still hangs above the reception desk.