Restaurant Review : Hymie’s Fish Market May Leave You Gasping for Air With Its High Prices, Average Fare

Hymie’s Fish Market would be more impressive beside a rocky shoal in New England than it is in permanent Ventura Boulevard dry-dock. But then, what wouldn’t?

It’s an artificially weather-beaten clapboard shack with blue awnings a la Old Cape Cod and a facade dominated by a statue of an ancient mariner. This wizened figure keeps a stern watch from a second floor crow’s-nest; maybe someday an anthropologist will think he had something to do with Metro Traffic.

Inside, Hymie’s really lays it on thick. The conceit is that we’re in a rustic seaman’s cottage made of rough-hewn slats, furnished with pink tablecloths and wooden captain’s chairs. A huge crawl space is packed with nautical artifacts: a rowboat here, a lobster net there, woven baskets for the daily catch. A fake anchor leans against one wall.

OK, there’s a lot of artifice at Hymie’s, but I found the room cozy and almost elegant. Drift away in the fantasy. You’ll be back on land soon enough when the bill arrives.

Because Hymie’s is not cheap. The cost of seafood may have risen recently, but that doesn’t explain some of these prices, which are as high as you’ll find almost anywhere in the Valley. Broiled swordfish, for instance, is $19.95. Linguine with seafood is (gasp!) $23.95.

Ironically, one of the best things at this restaurant is free; namely, the Pioneer sourdough rolls that come steaming hot from the kitchen. And in fairness it should be pointed out that the lunch menu is quite reasonable, with many entrees less than $10. But if you plan to dine in the evening, be prepared to pay handsomely for the privilege.

Unfortunately, it’s not that much of a privilege. The food is fine, but nothing much beyond chain seafood restaurant cooking. The menu is dominated by a lengthy list of fresh fish, most of which are cooked simply on a metal grill. No mesquite here. There are only a few attempts at sophistication (paella, bouillabaisse), and the usual smattering of steaks and chops for the tag-alongs who don’t eat seafood. Any questions tonight? Not likely.

Anyway, start with clams Casino, juicy baked clams topped with delicious herbed bread crumbs. You might also consider sharing an entree salad such as the broiled salmon salad, really a huge Caesar with big chunks of fish mixed in. It’s $14.95, but in this case the price is justified.

But you don’t have to order an appetizer. All entrees come with a choice of soup (Boston or Manhattan style chowder) or a house salad. The red chowder is far better than the white, a flavorsome broth with large chunks of celery, potato and minced clam swimming in it. The white chowder is just plain starchy--as, it must be admitted, 90% of all “New England” chowders west of Block Island tend to be; one of life’s great mysteries.

It’s no mystery that most people come here for fish, though. Ready for your options? You won’t need a pencil. You may have your fish grilled plain, grilled with garlic butter or grilled with a Dijon mustard sauce. Oh, a few sautes sneak in there on special request, and they deep-fry catfish and maybe one or two other things when no one is looking.

But that is basically it. And if you like your fish at all undercooked, you’d better bring a large, clearly lettered sign and wave it in the chef’s face.

I ordered the swordfish in mustard sauce one night and didn’t so much mind that it was overcooked. What bothered me was that I couldn’t even see, much less taste, the Dijon sauce. Luckily, I had a thinking man’s waiter that night. When I pointed out the problem, he brought me a sauce boat of surprisingly good mustard sauce with the texture of a well-executed Hollandaise, and in doing so turned a bland dish into an exciting one.

A friend ordered grilled tuna steak and it turned out firm and sweet, with just the right amount of garlic and black pepper. If it had been cooked just a tiny bit less it might have been spectacular. A third person’s soft-shell crab, though, was an unmitigated disaster. The crabs had lost all sweetness.

Let me pass on a survival tip for Hymie’s diners, learned from bitter experience: Even with these problems, stick to the simple dishes. Paella, for instance, should be fluffy and perfumed with saffron; the grains of rice should be discreet. At Hymie’s it’s awful and mushy, like a bad risotto. I couldn’t taste any saffron, there was no additional flavoring such as sausage, the scallops had become soft and there were far too many peas. I shudder to think what Hymie’s does to bouillabaisse.

No complaints about desserts here, though (none made on the premises, anyway). The waiter kindly put me off the rum baba (“It tastes like a soggy doughnut”) in favor of an excellent strawberry tart with a chocolate nut crust and a Bavarian cream filling. The kiwi fruit tart wasn’t bad, either.

Hey, just try getting one of those on Cape Cod.

Hymie’s Fish Market

17499 Ventura Blvd., Encino.

(818) 784-3474.

Open from 11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Friday, 4 to 10:30 p.m. Saturdays, 4 to 9 p.m. Sunday. Full bar. Parking lot. Visa, MasterCard and American Express. Dinner for two, food only, $50 to $75.

Recommended dishes; red clam chowder, $4.95; clams Casino, $6.50; broiled salmon salad, $14.95; tuna, $19.95.