She Was Off-Key, Protest Is Off Mark

Apparently, San Diego has recovered. So has the rest of the republic from what will be remembered as the Great Screech, or the national anthem as rendered by the renowned diva, Roseanne Barr.

But in the afterglow, you remain shaken, not by Barr, who doesn’t make an excessive amount of sense, but by the clouds of boycott that were beginning to form as a result of her performance.

It was suggested that consumers boycott goods produced by sponsors of Barr’s TV comedy series.

This disturbs for two reasons. First, whatever the stupidity of her failed act at the ballpark in San Diego, it was a simple form of expression, not aimed at depriving anyone of his civil rights, or of bringing down the country.

Second, is every expression to be met by a threat of economic ruin? If so, we soon will find ourselves in a place of only one expression.

One watches with horror the abortion issue. Companies involved, however indirectly, with pro-life people are threatened with boycott.

Same with those involved with pro-choicers.

“Think as I think or I’ll bury you with my credit card,” those on both sides are warned.

It is better than being buried by an AK-47, but forming here is a climate you don’t see as healthy.

Our time in this line of work has been long, though maybe not distinguished, and, during this tenure, the most explosive reaction to our point-of-view spiraled from a dab of prose appearing in TV Guide, in which we advocated ABC’s dumping the Army-Navy game, a parochial exercise, for a game of impact.

It was stated that we are as patriotic as the next guy. We also are fond of the Army and the Navy and, if a war breaks out, both come in handy.

But this is football, and the nation’s viewers deserve the best.

What happened was flabbergasting. Flag-wavers boiling from the ground declared war against the publication, letters pouring in by the ton. Subscriptions were canceled. Threats of cancellation were hurled.

Defending an American institution, these patriots weren’t aware they were trampling on another, namely, the First Amendment, which is part of the country, too.

For knocking auto racing in the syndicated column business, we once lost two clients, one in Indiana, the other in Florida, both, in their editorial attitudes, staunch defenders of the freedoms.

“Hey, fellas,” we aimed to write, “if it means firing, maybe I can find that auto racing isn’t so bad, after all. It has some nice points.”

In the wake of her smash performance at San Diego--you are sure Variety hailed it as socko-- Roseanne Barr doubtless will try an album next, maybe, “Roseanne Barr Sings Cole Porter.”

But if she comes back to the national anthem, we want to recommend the Carl Lewis School of Voice.

Solicited one Fourth of July to perform at Anaheim Stadium, before a packed house and a television audience, Carl belted out “The Star Spangled Banner.”

At least, he appeared to do that, except it later was learned he merely was lip-syncing to a tape he brought to the park.

Management explained Mr. Lewis is a perfectionist who wanted nothing to go wrong. And why the beef? It was, after all, Carl’s voice.

You were left with the thought that if Lewis is really a perfectionist, he would have moved his lips to a tape of Pavarotti.

Carl could have been inspired by the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics, offering, amid great pageantry, “Rhapsody in Blue,” featuring 84 grand pianos.

Eighty-four persons sat at the pianos, but only eight played for reasons described as economy. We recall asking the head of the musicians’ union what was scale for one seated at a piano, but not playing.

He answered: “Depends upon the occasion. One not playing at the Olympics would get more than one not playing at a bar mitzvah.”

Unless it’s, say, Sinatra, or Toni Tenille, the Dodgers will not turn anyone loose on the national anthem without the performer first submitting a cassette.

Listening to a tape one time of a national anthem candidate--a one-man band who played nine instruments, including the fluegelhorn--the Dodgers turned him down.

Their reason: his cowbells might not have been what Francis Scott Key had in mind.