Commentary : If Children Show Courage, So Must We : Crime: Adults in a recent case sent the wrong message by reacting with disbelief and supporting the abuser.

The arrest and recent conviction of Rodney Stark, a Rancho Penasquitos teacher and Scoutmaster, have left that community shocked. But even more surprising--and potentially destructive--is the behavior of some residents who still cling to the belief that Stark could not possibly be guilty.

The thought that an adult entrusted with so many youngsters for so many years could be capable of sexually molesting children while successfully manipulating colleagues and parents contradicts so sharply with our adult belief system that our minds want to clamp down in horror and disbelief.

It is this visceral reaction by many of Stark’s supporters and colleagues that I am most critical of, and I’d like to tell you why.

We are spending thousands of dollars on programs to educate children about sexual abuse, to convince them that adults will listen and not turn their backs on their horrifying reports of molestation. Yet, adults in the Stark case sent their children, all our children, a different message, by blindly and callously supporting the abuser, not the victim.

From my personal experience as a prosecutor in child abuse cases, and from a rapidly emerging national consensus among experts, we have learned that children undertake the very act of disclosing that they are being sexually abused with extreme wariness and trepidation.

For a child whose vulnerability and subordination to the adult world are daily facts of life, the decision to tell is indeed a very brave one.

In the Stark case, the young victim, legitimately or not, worried about the physical safety of the first person in whom he confided and feared he would be punished if his parents found out. This is the way a young mind works. After all, if his story were true, he had let the molestation go on over several years without telling--and hadn’t he shown bad judgment by accompanying this man on outings without complaint?

The experts tell us that children become entrapped and eventually accommodate the molester because of their fears and guilt, and because there very often is a positive, special aspect to the relationship. When the child does tell, he realizes he is going to be losing a close friendship.

The child also knows at some level in his psyche, what he is saying is not welcome news, and that he will be met with adult disgust and disbelief. This is especially true when the molester is a respected and visible community leader.

When the story first broke of Stark’s arrest, community members immediately, publicly, declared Stark innocent. At the arraignment, a minister and parents blindly, and somewhat arrogantly, proclaimed that they would still allow their children to be around Stark.

The polarization of the community and insensitivity to the plight of the victim and his family rapidly became apparent. Stark’s hired investigators combed the boy’s neighborhood and public school searching for ways to discredit the youth.

Stark dispatched letters to teachers designed to elicit sympathy for himself and unearth information with which to attack the boy. The victim was harassed by schoolmates and fellow Boy Scouts who quickly learned his identity.

At the preliminary hearing, Stark’s supporters callously brought their own children to the courtroom in a further attempt to derail the case. In a letter circulated among this group, it was naively voiced that if enough people were present, the judge might dismiss the case. Fortunately, to protect the victim, these children were excluded from the hearing by the judge.

Most disturbing of all, at trial, former teachers and an ex-school principal came to court to voice strong doubts regarding the boy’s credibility. These individuals were clearly friends of Stark’s and had not seen the boy in two and three years. Mind you, this was not a child who had been to Juvenile Hall, taken drugs or burned down the library.

These professional educators, who had not bothered to contact the family of the boy or learn the facts of the case, completely abandoned all norms of compassion.

In the end, the evidence established that the boy was being molested during the time he attended Black Mountain Middle School and was in daily contact with these individuals. Stark was quickly convicted.

It is simultaneously perplexing and understandable that we, as adults, might go to great lengths to deny to ourselves and the world that someone we trusted could fool and betray us. This is a very frightening realization.

Dr. Melvin Goldzband, an expert in pedophilia, told us in court that the only consistent trait of child molesters is that they acquire positions that provide them access to children, positions such as youth leaders and teachers. This same expert also told us that child molesters are often charming and likeable individuals to whom children gravitate.

During the trial, two other boys testified that they were molested by Stark.

With great sensitivity, a detective persuaded the boys to come forward and tell of their experiences. These boys were extremely reluctant, for they knew of the harassment suffered by the original victim and knew we could not guarantee them protection. Knowing that they too were going to be met by adult disbelief, they valiantly walked into the courtroom to tell the jury what Stark had done to them.

Throughout the course of the trial, numerous members of the community told me they simply wished for the truth to come out. Yet these same people also said Stark could not be guilty.

The sorry truth is that we must rely on our children to reveal who the molesters are. I can only hope that when our children do find the courage to tell us, we as adults find the courage to listen.