Overall, It’s a Prime-Time Example of Lousy Football

First of all, a highlight . . . as in who did what well.

The crowd.

It did a reasonably nice wave during a fourth-quarter timeout. It is with reluctance that we kudo a wave, because such inane revelry went out with beehive hairdos. However, this crowd could be excused for seeking ways to amuse itself.

These were the Chargers and the Seattle Seahawks playing a nationally televised, prime-time football game. What they did was spend the evening showing the nation, whatever part of it stayed tuned, that these were not prime-time players.

Pass the coffee, and please don’t make it decaf. You needed the strong stuff to make it through this one.

In fact, San Diego was fortunate this game was blacked out locally. The 2,671 fans who bought tickets and stayed home were smart, but not as smart as those who didn’t buy tickets in the first place.

If this game were a painting, it would hang in the garage. It was a date you wouldn’t take out in public. If it were a play, it wouldn’t get out of Bridgeport . . . or Bismarck.

And these were teams with playoff aspirations? Spare me. These teams should get down on their knees at night a pray they don’t get to the playoffs, just like folks in Denver are doing.

I’m not sure anyone actually won this game. I do know it went into overtime and I also know why. No one was good enough to win it. They just sparred for 63 minutes and one second until someone found a way to lose it.

Seattle finally won it, 13-10, on an ugly 40-yard field goal by Norm Johnson, a butterfly of a kick that didn’t end the game as much as it put it out of its misery.

To get in position for this game-winning kick, the Seahawks sustained a drive of one yard, which lasted two plays. Quarterback Dave Krieg virtually fell down on the first play, the amazing thing being that he fell down with the ball. He fumbled it four other times. John L. Williams then squeezed for another yard before Coach Chuck Knox, having seen enough, called upon his kicker.

The point to be made, of course, was that Seattle was able to start this drive from the Charger 23 because Arthur Cox was busily imitating Dave Krieg. On this night, putting a football into Cox’s hands was a good way to put the football in Seattle’s hands. He caught a pass and fumbled, just as he had at the Seattle 21 on the Chargers’ last play of regulation time.

Until those two plays, Cox’s evening, like the game, was somewhat of a push. His personal foul with the Chargers at the Seattle one-yard line forced them to settle for a second-quarter field goal, but then he came back and made a nice touchdown reception in the third period.

All things considered, the man probably wished he either was dead or in Philadelphia.

However, Arthur Cox was not alone. The doghouse was rather crowded Sunday night.

The officials did not even have a good evening.

Take, for example, the biggest gain of the night. This was on a screen pass from Krieg to Williams in the third period. The key block was thrown by an official, who screened Henry Rolling from making the tackle just past the line of scrimmage. Given the gift of an extra 55 yards, what did Seattle do? It ran an Oklahoma-style option on the next play, and Krieg fumbled.

Further, the officials blew a play dead for some insane reason while Seattle’s Chris Warren was handling a punt like a wet bar of soap. The Chargers recovered this blunder, but Seattle inexplicably was given the ball. It looked like Warren and the officials had their eyes shut on the play.

Earlier, an apparent interception by the Chargers’ Donald Frank was ruled an incomplete pass in the end zone. The officials probably were conditioned to the notion that no one on either team actually could hold onto the football. Seattle kicked a field goal on the next play.

No, this was not football at its finest.

The first quarter set the tone for the game. There were five first downs, three punts, an interception (yes, thrown by Billy Joe Tolliver) and a missed field goal from a modest 36 yards by Johnson. This period took 40 dreary minutes and probably wore out remote controls from Key West to Fairbanks.

Yes, Billy Joe Tolliver was back in his Second-Year Guy and Playing Like It mode. Seattle’s first touchdown, which came late in the fourth period, was set up when Eugene Robinson intercepted a pass that seemed destined for no Charger receiver in that particular zip code.

This was what sent this interminable exercise into that short, but fortunately brief, overtime period.

Hopefully, this game was monitored by ABC. It surely will take note and, once again, advise the National Football League that it would just as soon not include the Chargers on the 1991 Monday night schedule. Thanks, anyway.