THE NHL : Sorting Out the Naughty From the Nice on Ice

It’s time out for the NHL, time to unlace the skates, let the body unwind, the wounds heal.

The players have spent the past few days enjoying a league-wide holiday break, getting reacquainted with family and friends.

Instead of checking into the boards, it was time to check under the tree.

But be assured, they didn’t find everything they needed wrapped in nice, neat packages.

That’s where we come in, to supply those essentials that somehow got missed on the holiday list:

For Wayne Gretzky--What else? His first Stanley Cup in Los Angeles. For Mario Lemieux--A strong enough back to come back. For the NHL--A commissioner. For John Ziegler--A job. For Larry Robinson--Another year. For Tim Kerr--Peace of mind. For Mark Messier--A good left knee. For Jay Miller--Boxing gloves. For Bob Probert--A final verdict. For Mike Krushelnyski--Help. For Kelly Hrudey--Defensive help. For Brett Hull--The Hart Trophy. For the Quebec Nordiques--Eric Lindros. For Eric Lindros--A good tax man. For Bruce McNall--See Wayne Gretzky. For Texas--An NHL team. For Toronto--See Texas. For Terry Crisp--A clean necktie. For Tom Webster--A real javelin. For Tomas Sandstrom--See Mario Lemieux. For Don Cherry--Humility. For Marty McSorley--See Jay Miller. For Rogie Vachon--Recognition. For Bernie Nicholls--Seventy goals a season and 18 holes a day in the off-season. For Mark Fitzpatrick--Breathing room. For Pat LaFontaine--See Mike Krushelnyski. For Ray Bourque--Another shot at the Cup. For Grant Fuhr--Another shot in the league. For NHL owners--Another shot at a U.S. network contract. For the NHL players--A drug rehab program. For Dave Taylor--See Larry Robinson. For John Cullen--See Rogie Vachon. For Marcel Dionne--A retirement as satisfying as his career. For NHL officials--Whistles that work for three periods. For the Minnesota North Stars--Fans. For the San Jose Sharks--Players. For Tom Laidlaw--See Dave Taylor. For the so-called league goons--Peace in our time. For all--Peace on Earth.

Another Cold War Ends: Detente has finally been reached between Soviet forward Vladimir Krutov and the Vancouver Canucks.

Krutov has been in limbo since reporting to training camp out of shape at 205 pounds, 10 more than his playing weight. He had remained in the Soviet Union until less than two weeks before the start of camp.

Krutov, who scored 11 goals and collected 34 points in his first NHL season, was told he wouldn’t start the season on Vancouver’s roster.

But because of a clause in his NHL contract, he couldn’t be traded or sent to the minors.

So he sat and sat and sat.

The Canucks said he wasn’t going to play for them and he said he wasn’t going to play anywhere else in North America.

A compromise has finally been reached. Given permission by Vancouver to resume his career elsewhere, Krutov is going to Switzerland for a tryout with a Swiss league team.

“I wasn’t fully aware of the situation and the necessary adjustments at the outset,” said Krutov at a farewell press conference in Vancouver. “Probably, if I had a chance to do it over again, I would have tried to arrive earlier in Canada. The cultural changes and the adjustment process would have been something I would have given more thought to.

“I was hopeful that . . . I would be granted more ice time and could blend in with the rest of the team and the system. . . . I soon realized the team wasn’t prepared to include me in their plans.”

Krutov used the occasion to caution fellow Soviets thinking of signing with the Canucks.

“Each hockey player can make up his own mind, but it is fairly well known among the Russian players that I have had a very difficult situation in Vancouver,” he said.

Still to be decided is the buyout figure on Krutov’s contract, which has two years to run at $375,000 a season. Krutov’s attorney, claiming the Canucks are offering only a quarter of the total amount, is threatening legal action.

The Canucks also owe Sovintersport, the organization that represents Soviet athletes, $375,000 for each of Krutov’s remaining seasons. Any buyout will probably be determined in international arbitration.

Sticking it to him: The Calgary media weren’t about to let King Coach Tom Webster forget his recent outburst.

When the Kings and Calgary Flames met at the Forum two weeks ago, Webster, infuriated at the officiating and his own team’s poor play, fired a stick out on the ice in anger.

So when the Kings visited Calgary last week, a cartoon in the Calgary Sun showed a King player, with an apple on his head and three sticks rammed through his body, crying out, “You finished practicing yet, Coach Webster?”