MAKING IT WORK : Tips for Parents Living With Adult Children

Elderly parents usually move in with their adult children because of an immediate crisis that makes it difficult to look ahead.

However, cautions Newport Beach psychologist Susan Scott, you’ll get along better with your parents--and they’ll be happier--if you can anticipate potential problems. To help make it work, Scott recommends the following steps.

For adult children:

* Make sure you have enough room in your home for everyone to live comfortably--and for you and your parents to have privacy.

* Take advantage of outside resources, including and community activities and services for seniors.

* Take a class to learn about the aging process so you will have realistic expectations of your parents.

For parents:

* Recognize that if you move in with your children, you will no longer be the head of the household. Ask yourself if you can make the adjustments your change in roles will require.

* Don’t meddle in your children’s or your grandchildren’s affairs--unless you are asked.

* Remain independent. Find your own transportation, friends and interests. Don’t depend on your children to make you happy.