An Inoffensive Nickname Is for the Birds

Eastern Michigan is relinquishing its nickname, Hurons, but the suggested substitute for the native American Indian tribe is causing quite a flap in Ypsilanti.

Are you ready for the emu, a large flightless bird similar to an ostrich? EMU also happen to be the school’s initials.

It’s different, anyway.

Incidentally, the nickname, Indians, was once commonplace among schools. In fact, the Stanford Indians beat the Dartmouth Indians in the 1942 NCAA basketball championship game.

Add Emus: Eastern Michigan has reached the round of 16 in the NCAA tournament but probably won’t stay around. North Carolina’s Tar Heels are favored to prevent the Hurons, or Emus, from advancing tonight.

Trivia question: Name the only school that won the NCAA and NIT championships in the same year?

Refrigerator II: Coach George Seifert of the San Francisco 49ers has issued an ultimatum to offensive tackle Bubba Paris--lose weight, or else.

Paris, who weighed more than 365 pounds last year, is reportedly trying to reduce, checking in recently at 345 pounds.

Former coach Bill Walsh twice sent Paris to a weight-loss clinic, saying he once replaced Paris with Steve Wallace because Wallace “finishes his blocks, not his plate.”

Putting path: Titanic Thompson was regarded as one of golf’s most conniving hustlers. Take his long-putt scam, which reportedly netted him thousands of dollars.

The Golf Hall of Shame book tells of Thompson betting that he could make at least three out of four putts from 30 feet away. And he usually did.

What his unsuspecting victim didn’t know was that on the previous night, after the green had been watered, Titanic had placed a heavy hose from the edge of the green to the cup and kept it there until early the next morning.

That created a nearly imperceptible trough. Titanic simply sent the ball through the trough and into the hole.

Stripathon: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post writes that it’s a shame Temple didn’t play Villanova in the NCAA tournament. He would like to see who would shed more clothes, John Chaney or Rollie Massimino.

In Temple’s victory over Richmond, Kornheiser says Chaney came out perfectly tailored, adding:

“Five minutes into the game he had loosened his tie. By halftime his jacket was off. With four minutes to go he’d completely undone his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, which was mostly hanging out of his pants.

“If the game goes overtime, Chaney might have to borrow a bathrobe. Rollie has a similar reputation for mussing up on the sideline. After a game he looks like an unmade bed.”

Hearing aids: The World League of American Football hopes some of its innovations will appeal to Europeans raised on soccer, in which play rarely stops.

The league promises a wide-open, no-huddle style in which quarterbacks communicate with receivers via tiny microphones and earphones in helmets.

A smart defensive coach could disrupt this plan with jamming devices.

Long gone: Kentucky basketball Coach Rick Pitino, writing for the Sporting News, picked five teams with the potential to upset Nevada Las Vegas in the NCAA tournament.

Syracuse, which was eliminated in the first round by Richmond, was one of his choices. Said Pitino: “Syracuse is one of the few teams in the tournament that is not bothered by the pressure of big games.”

How about the pressure of little games?

Trivia answer: City College of New York in 1950.

Quotebook: Atlanta Falcon Coach Jerry Glanville, in his autobiography, “Elvis Don’t Like Football”: “I took sociology and that was more boring than Chuck Noll.”