No IRS Refund? Cinemas Might Have Your Ticket

This is a story about the modern theatergoing experience, and it starts at United Artists’ Glasshouse Square, the six-theater complex near the Sports Arena.

Recently I went to Glasshouse to see “The Hard Way,” the latest star vehicle for Michael J. Fox. Chalk it up to temporary insanity.

I did this long after the movie had opened to mixed reviews, and United Artists, in its wisdom, had already put the movie into the smallest of the Glasshouse theaters, a boxlike room about half the size of a normal mini-theater, a mini-mini-theater, the theater equivalent of a parking spot for compact cars only.

From the moment I sat down, it was clear that this was going to be a quintessential modern cinema experience. Rock ‘n’ roll music was blaring on the sound system. The aisles were narrow, the seats uncomfortable and, worst of all, the chairs didn’t have those cute rings on the arms to hold drinks.

About two-thirds of the way through the “buddy” movie, things really disintegrated. Green lines appeared on the screen. And then the sound went out.

People began shuffling in their seats. The movie was silent. “Sound!” someone shouted, hoping that a theater employee was listening.

Ten minutes went by, and the hundred people in the theater were growing restless. I had to make a decision. Which would be more entertaining, the end of the movie or attempting to get my money back?

No question, I went looking for the manager.

And then an amazing thing happened. They gave me my money back. There was no confrontational scene, they just handed it over.

This was a revelation. All I had to do was ask for my money back. They didn’t even ask why I wanted it back.

This got me curious. Sure enough, it is the policy of United Artists to refund a customer’s money if they are dissatisfied for any reason. They key phrase is “for any reason.”

James Edwards Sr., chairman for Edwards Cinema, confirmed that his theaters also will refund a customer’s money. “It doesn’t matter” why a customer is upset, he said. “The only criteria is if a customer is displeased.”

So, we don’t have to put up with lousy, over-advertised movies. We can say we’re as mad as hell and we want our money back. If the ads promised a classic cinema experience and it turned out to be “Howard the Duck,” no problem. Just get a refund.

XTRA-AM (690) has dropped morning guy Randy Miller after six months, sending him back to Noble Broadcasting’s station in Kansas City. According to Noble CEO John Lynch, Miller is extremely popular in Kansas City and Miller wanted to leave XTRA because he felt he didn’t fit into the station’s sports format.

However, Lynch acknowledged that Miller, who has a five-year deal with Noble, did some “meatball” things on the air--including making fun of the station--that were “particularly galling” since it happened in Lynch’s hometown.

Although Miller has a national reputation for outrageous antics, XTRA management apparently was surprised by Miller’s acerbic on-air personality. Of course, this is the same station that put Steve Garvey on the air, and then appeared surprised when he was boring and ineffective.

“As XTRA Turns” continues with the announcement that the station will air California Angels games, to go along with Los Angeles Kings hockey games. Management will probably be surprised when San Diegans don’t rush to tune in Los Angeles sporting events.

Local author Steve Salerno has finished his book on the case of Cara Knott and California Highway Patrol Officer Craig Peyer, who was convicted of murdering the woman by the side of the freeway in 1986. Knightsbridge publishers owns the rights to the book, and expects to release it in the fall.

Salerno described the book as “a comprehensive look at not just what happened, but why it happened, the feelings of the people involved and some of the social issues it raised.”

The working title of Salerno’s book is “Fatal Freeway,” although that may change by the time it is published.

The Central American Information Agency, a local group, wanted to run a commercial during Tuesday’s night airing of “Romero,” the story of a martyred Catholic bishop in El Salvador, urging local Congressman Randy Cunningham to vote to cut military aid to El Salvador. But Channel 8 refused to run the spot, citing a policy against “advocacy” political advertisements that don’t pertain directly to ballot issues.

In the past, some stations have aired the advertisement, including Cox Cable locally, and it has been rejected by many others, who use arguments similar to Channel 8’s. Among other strong images, the ad shows a check with a spreading blood stain on it.

“If you think about it, there is no advertising that is not advocacy,” said Dana Hohn, associate director of the CAIC.

KFMB-TV (Channel 8) anchorman Stan Miller, who has appeared more relaxed on the air lately, says he is still pondering his future. He reportedly has received several offers, including one from a station in Minneapolis. Miller has expressed his unhappiness to the press in the past, but he says he has 14 months remaining on his contract. “I haven’t really decided if I want to leave Channel 8,” Miller said. . . .

With all stations dying for talk shows to compete with Phil and Oprah, KUSI-TV (Channel 51) has picked up the rights to air “Geraldo” and “The Joan Rivers Show,” which is currently part of the Channel 10 lineup. Channel 10 is bringing in the new “Maury Povich Show,” starting in the fall. . . .

When KNSD-TV (Channel 39) hired Allison Ross to do the “Ross/Hedgecock Report,” station management swore that Ross was only there to do the 4:30 p.m. show. But there she was Wednesday, co-anchoring the station’s main 5 p.m. newscast. According to station managing editor Art Cerf, Ross was rushed into service because anchorwoman Denise Yamada called in sick and regular backup Monica Gayle was recovering from dental work. . . .

Jack Merker is out of the hospital and back at the helm of the “Ross/Hedgecock Report.”