Just Being Frank, He Judges Baseball Dogs, Best to Wurst

Whether their Dodger Dogs are grilled or steamed, Dodger fans don’t seem to have it so bad--at least according to comments made by author Bob Wood in his book, “Dodger Dogs to Fenway Franks: The Ultimate Guide to America’s Top Baseball Parks.”

Wrote Wood after touring the major leagues in 1985:

--At Busch Memorial Stadium in St. Louis, “A hot dog I bought came packaged in a mangled soggy bun. Rather than tossing it after I ate it, I decided I’d toss it before.”

--At Fenway Park in Boston, “The Fenway Frank is still the absolute worst wiener known to man. Microwaved to shriveled perfection . . . just looking at it can send shivers down your spine. At most places, a ballpark dog is a must. At Fenway, it only sours the scenery.”

--At Arlington Stadium in Texas, “Hot dogs are particularly lousy. Right down there with Fenway Franks. . . . They’re tied as the world’s worst.”

Pass the mustard: Wood called Dodger Dogs “one of baseball’s best wieners.”

Trivia time: O.J. Simpson, a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, is related to what member of baseball’s Hall of Fame?

Serious business: Manager Tony La Russa of the Oakland Athletics told California magazine: “All the time, I hear, ‘You don’t ever smile.’ But I never see the other guy smile in the dugout, and I look all the time.”

The other guy has a reason. He’s facing the A’s.

Ciao, Roman: The announcement this week that the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame will unveil a bronze statue Saturday in Arlington Heights, Ill., to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak brought to mind an old story.

In the early 1960s, the editors of Il Popolo, a U.S. Italian language newspaper, named Roman Gabriel of the Rams as their “Italian-American athlete of the year.”

Unfortunately for Il Popolo, Gabriel is of Filipino ancestry.

Up in arms: From Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune:

“I have learned three new words that are going to ruin sports.

“Pay.

“Per.

“View.”

What, no relish?: According to a book, “The Golf Hall of Shame,” Curtis Sifford sliced a shot into the crowd while playing in the Quad Cities Open. A woman, seeing the ball coming right at her, frantically dropped her hot dog and jumped out of the way. Unfortunately for Sifford and the woman, the ball plopped right onto the hot dog.

Sifford wiped off the mustard and ketchup before making his drop.

Trivia answer: Ernie Banks is his second cousin.

Quotebook: Magic Johnson, whose ambition is to own an NBA team after he retires, told the Washington Post: “I won’t sit on the floor. I like to see the game. I can’t sit on the court because I can’t see the whole floor. I want to see the whole play.”