Holes Later . . . : An annotated duffer’s guide to the pleasantries and perils of the 18 championship golf courses in Ventura County.

Clubbing a ball around a huge lawn isn’t everyone’s idea of a great way to spend fouror five hours.

In fact some people really don’t like golf. The late football player Red Grange once said: “Golf lacks something for me. It would be better if once in a while someone came up from behind and tackled you just as you were hitting the ball.”

But judging by attendance figures at public golf courses, there is plenty of interest in the sport. There were 24.7 million golfers in the United States in 1989, compared with 15.1 million in 1980. In California, participation in the sport has risen 13% in three years.

“The biggest single reason that we’re seeing the growth of golf is that it’s mirroring a shift in the age of baby boomers,” said Bob Thomas of the Golf Assn. of California.

The average age of a golfer is about 40, according to 1986 statistics from the National Golf Foundation, the most recent figures available.

In Ventura County, devotion may be a better word than interest for conveying local enthusiasm for the game. According to local pros, over the last few years play at most public courses in the county has increased significantly--by as many as 20,000 to 30,000 rounds yearly. Several courses are on the verge of going over 100,000 rounds annually, and Los Robles Golf Course in Thousand Oaks is one of the five busiest courses in the country, according to Bob Meyers, the club’s director.

“Why is it so addicting?” mused Ron Stevens, general manager of Camarillo Springs Golf Course. “That’s a good question. Depending on where you play, drugs might even be cheaper.”

Lovers of the game will tell you that golf supplies one of the great chemical-free highs. All it takes is one good shot or one great hole to get a person hooked--and, of course, a desire to wear loud, patterned pants.

Here is an annotated guide to the pleasantries and idiosyncracies of the county’s 18 championship golf courses.

Public Courses

* Buenaventura Golf Course, 5882 Olivas Park Drive, Ventura 93003. Green fees are $12 weekdays , $15 weekends. (805) 642-2231.

This course sits within four miles of two other courses (Olivas Park and River Ridge). All three have a “smell factor” to contend with. River Ridge sits on a landfill, Olivas Park has a sewage plant across the street and Buenaventura is located near a mushroom farm.

Don’t assume that the mushrooms smell better than the sewage--they don’t. But then, golfers are a lot like mail carriers: They’ll play through rain, sleet, snow and stench.

As for the course itself, nine of its holes were built in 1939. The second nine were added in 1941. It’s very flat and fairly narrow with many palm trees that serve to remind you that you’re not in Kansas. As at most courses, familiarity with each hole helps your score tremendously, except for the par-three 14th hole.

“It’s our signature hole,” said head pro Bill Hulbert. “It’s the toughest shot on the course.”

Buenaventura attracts its fair share of celebrities. Punk rocker Derf Scratch of the band Fear was spotted one day playing with his pop, Chuck Milner. Scratch, having heard the story about the body discovered years ago on the 10th hole, may be working on a great punk song about death and putting.

Arnold Palmer is sure to be holding his breath in anticipation.

* Camarillo Springs Golf Course, 791 Camarillo Springs Road, Camarillo 93012. Green fees are $16 weekdays, $22 weekends. (805) 484-1075.

The superstitious getting ready to play here might consider some sort of pagan ritual--involving old golf balls and performed in the bathtub--to appease the water gods. There are 10 holes where water comes into play.

General Manager Ron Stevens claims that he has the best greens in the county. Of course he isn’t the only manager to say it. But in this case, Stevens may be right. If he is, the public is certainly paying for it. It is one of the most expensive public facilities in the county.

The course, built in 1975 and recently redesigned, is flat and surrounded by senior citizens (they live in a mobile home park). If you hit a trailer, you run the risk of being hunted down by vigilantes in golf carts.

Holes 4 through 8 sit behind a hill in a “smell basin” created by the sewage plant bordering the course. Gas masks left over from the Gulf War should be supplied to anyone entering this area. When the wind blows, the stench is so bad it’s worth at least two strokes. Even the woman running the snack cart said, “I have a hard time selling sandwiches over here.”

* Elkins Ranch Golf Course, 1386 Chambersburg Road, Fillmore 93015. Fees are $17 weekdays, $22 weekends, making this the most expensive public course in the county. (805) 524-1121.

“People come up here and sometimes golf isn’t the thing they came here for,” golf pro Dan Hodapp said. “They want a cheeseburger.”

Move over McDonald’s. Step aside Burger King. There’s a new kid on the burger block. No one can touch an Elkins Ranch cheeseburger. “On Fridays we get a bunch of people from town who come out here to eat. There’s a line out the door of the snack bar,” Hodapp said.

And there’s a line at the starter’s table, too--with good reason. The course, started as a nine-hole facility in 1962 with the second nine added within a year, is an excellent public facility. It may not be as immaculate as others, but you won’t hear a freeway, you won’t see a factory and your nose won’t wilt from some nearby source of stench. In other words, it’s worth a drive through the citrus groves to get there.

Be warned. They enforce a dress code: No halter straps for women, and men are expected to wear collared shirts and respectable shorts.

“We didn’t do it in a effort to sell more shirts,” Hodapp said, “but we do have a discount shirt rack for those who show up unknowingly without one.”

So, with your new Elkins Ranch-label shirt tucked into loose-fitting shorts, you will wind your way around the hillside, enjoy a spectacular view from the par-three 16th nestled on top of the hill and follow it up with a shot from the 17th tee, where you’re hitting from the top of a mountain to the fairway more than 100 feet below. It’s memorable.

* Los Robles Golf Course, 299 S. Moorpark Road, Thousand Oaks 91361. Green fees are $9 weekdays, $12 weekends. (805) 495-6421.

This is Ventura County’s golfing version of Grand Central Station. They jam golfers onto this course like sardines.

“This year we’re going at a pace to put in about 120,000 rounds,” Director of Golf Bob Meyer said. “We put through 300 golfers a day, easy. There’s never a lull. It’ll be booked solid through 6 or 7 at night during the summer months, when it stays light out longer.”

With that many golfers roaming around a golf course, it is important to bring along the right equipment. Forget a visor, bring a hardhat.

The course opened in 1964 and was redesigned in 1973 because seven holes sat where the Oaks Mall now does. The course is partly hilly with a slew of stately oak trees scattered about that provide an interesting look. Other than that, the best thing about the place is the cost of play.

It borders a very busy Ventura Freeway. There is not a hole on the course where you can’t hear the traffic. But the freeway does prove useful in a way golfers probably never imagined. When a course is next to a large body of water, people know that their putts will probably break toward the water, and at Los Robles the same principle applies.

“When in doubt,” Meyer said, “everything will break toward the freeway.”

* Mountain View Golf Course, 16799 South Mountain Road, Santa Paula 93060. Green fees are reasonable : $10 weekdays, $14 weekends. (805) 525-1571.

Feeling low? Try a game of golf in Santa Paula. You are sure to record a better-than-usual score, and that can cure most types of depression.

The course, built in 1968, is not long, so you don’t have to pull out the dreaded long-iron very often. But there are areas of trouble that will give you the sense that the course is tougher than it is and that you are playing better than normal. (Since the course only measures 5,305 yards, it is but an illusion.)

Throw in a nice view of the Topatopa Mountains and this is just the ticket for a person in need of an ego boost.

It’s one of the least busy courses around, so when every other course is jammed and things look bleak, this could be the option you’re looking for.

* Olivas Park Golf Course, 3750 Olivas Park Drive, Ventura 93003. Green fees are $12 weekdays, $16 weekends. (805) 642-4303.

If one of the players in your foursome says, “Totally radical shot, dude, that was awesome,” chances are good that you are on this course--the closest one to the beach.

“We do get quite a few surfers,” head pro Lee Harlow said. “We even have a special T-shirt we sell here, designed for them, which says, ‘Turf’s Up.’ ”

Surfers aren’t the only ones who seem to like this course. According to Harlow, 95,000 rounds of golf were played on the course last year, making it the busiest of the Ventura/Oxnard triumvirate. It is also the longest course in the county, with a some holes that tend to play even longer due to the onshore winds. But the saving grace is that the course is very flat and very wide with few tricks. What you see is what you get.

This course has also been the site of two unsuccessful attempts to break the record for the world’s fastest round of golf played by a group. “We tried it and it didn’t work,” Harlow said. “Now I tell them to try it somewhere else.” Which they did (see Las Posas Country Club).

Cowabunga, dude.

The course opened in 1965 as a 27-hole course until the flood of ’69 wiped out nine holes. Will they rebuild on the 55 acres that are still available?

“We are looking into the possibilities of doing something with the land,” said Bob Conrad, a city administrator in charge of golf operations.

“We’ve hired a company to do a feasibility study on what is possible and what it would cost.”

* River Ridge Golf Club, 2401 Vineyard Ave., Oxnard 93030. Green fees are $13 weekdays, $18 weekends. (805) 983-4653.

Once you get past the idea that the course is perched on top of an Oxnard landfill, you might actually like it. Then again, maybe not. It was built in 1985 and a lot of people seem to hate it.

The first hole is one the whole golfing world groans over. Its hazards and layout create horrible traffic jams. The thing’s such a mess that there are plans to redesign the front nine and fix the problem. In addition, there is an almost-constant wind, pin placements are brutal and the greens have bulges and rolls.

On the other hand, the back nine has the county’s only island green--which provides a treat--and it’s one of the best maintained public courses in the county.

The best time to play is in the early summer when the Los Angeles Raiders are at training camp next to the course. The only way an outsider can watch practice is from the No. 9 tee box. If you hang around up there too long, there is the possibility that Al Davis may tell you to scram.

But there is the consolation that at least the football players don’t get to play for free. “Oh, they beg and want everything,” assistant pro Rick Irwin said, “but they’re rich enough. They can afford it.”

Which makes this a pretty good place to schmooze with football greats, hey?

“All the (football) players are out here at first,” Irwin said, “but after a while only the kickers play golf. After all, they can only practice so much. All they do is kick a ball.”

* Simi Hills Golf Course, 5031 Alamo St., Simi Valley 93063. Green fees are $13 weekdays, $20 weekends. (805) 522-0803 or (818) 991-5178.

Simi Valley may be part of Ventura County but the Simi Hills Golf Course has more the feel and look of Los Angeles--it’s crowded and unfriendly. Getting a tee time on a weekend takes a presidential order.

The course was molded around the foothills in 1981. It’s a shame it isn’t somewhere else because it has one of the nicest layouts of any public course in the area. The holes are interesting and varied. The front nine offers some hilly holes and finishes with three challenging par-fours. The back half features a nice lake.

* Soule Park Golf Course, 1033 E. Ojai Ave., Ojai 93023. Green fees are $15 weekdays, $19 weekends. (805) 646-5633.

Soule Park, opened in 1962, may not be the most challenging public course in the county but it is in a beautiful setting. As General Manager Jim Allen said, “People like it because it’s a quiet facility. You look up at nothing but mountains around you. No people. No traffic.”

Well, almost no traffic. There is the backup that occurs regularly at the No. 7 tee box. The wait can exceed 30 minutes on a busy day. As Ojai resident Ron Rood put it: “You can drive to the bar and have a drink and come back and still have to wait. I know. I’ve done it.”

The course has a lot of room for people to spray the ball and still be able to find it. It also has a phone on the No. 9 tee box, so calls can be made to the snack bar and the food will be waiting when you get there. Every course should have this feature.

* Westlake Golf Course, 4812 Lakeview Canyon Road, Westlake Village 91361. Green fees are $13 weekdays, $20 weekends. (805) 495-8437 or (818) 889-0770.

In reality, only the driving range and the 18th hole are in Ventura County. The rest sits in Los Angeles County, and if you look hard you can see a smog bank sitting on the Los Angeles side. It’s not a pretty sight.

The course, created in the late 1960s, is perfect for the beginner. It’s very short. Only 100 yards keep it from being labeled an executive course, the term for a very short nine-hole course. There are only two par-fives, and all but one of the par-fours are reachable with a good drive.

Manager Chris Vatcher said: “If you want a challenge, then go somewhere else. That is, unless you’re a 90 handicapper. Then it would be a great place to play.”

If you come here, be warned. The greens are rough and bouncy, you’ll pay a lot for range balls ($6 for a large bucket, $3 for a small) and later you’ll hear the word “fore” in your sleep. But there is the chance that you’ll spot a celeb playing here. Hey, doesn’t Heather Locklear live in Westlake?

“Yeah, she lives here. But I think she’s more of a North Rancher,” Vatcher said. “But hey, Mickey Rooney plays out here.”

Semiprivate Courses

* Ojai Valley Inn and Country Club, Country Club Road, Ojai 93023. The course is open to resort guests, members ($15,000 plus $150 monthly dues) and the public ($90 green fee, which includes a cart and range balls). (805) 646-2420.

It’s a resort. So they wait on you. They give you rides, carry your bags, make sure you have range balls. After a while you begin to wonder if they’ve mistaken you for someone important.

The course was built in 1923, and the front nine is fairly wide-open, with the resort always in sight to remind you of where you are. They are kind enough to supply drinking water at every hole. Unfortunately, they have forgotten the restrooms.

The back nine is another world. Paradise would look like this. No buildings, no traffic, nothing. Everything is green and quiet and built around the natural surroundings of majestic oak trees and rolling hills. It’s a challenge, so scoring well is a task. But it is also forgiving enough that golfers can attain their handicaps.

The course’s beauty is maintained by an army of people wearing brown dickeys and carrying rakes. They’re everywhere. After a while you begin to wonder if they are course hazards. If so, do you have to take a penalty stroke if you hit one?

This is the site of the GTE West Classic, a stop on the Senior PGA Tour, which was won this year by Chi Chi Rodriguez. The course also made a cameo appearance in the movie “The Two Jakes.”

* Seabee Golf Club, U.S. Naval Construction Battalion Center, Port Hueneme 93041. The course is open to military personnel (active or retired), their dependents and guests. Green fees are $8 weekdays, $10 weekends for the military (but prices vary depending on rank) $11/$14 for non-military. (805) 982-2620.

From 1957 until last April, the Seabees had only a nine-hole course. Now they have the complete set, a full-fledged 18-hole championship course. And while it may be the Seabees’ job to build things, the course was built by a civilian group. Apparently the military forbids them to construct anything on the base unless there is a natural disaster.

The military spends billions of dollars on intricate high-tech machines. Too bad they can’t shell out a few bucks for a better designed and maintained golf course.

The old nine is ragged and rough with numerous pointless sand bunkers. The new new nine may be in better shape--with the exception of a few holes where the waterlines were put in incorrectly--but it is barren and aesthetically unpleasing.

As an added military touch, the 574-yard par-five 12th hole makes you tee off over a barbed-wire fence that surrounds an old ammunitions bunker.

And if you don’t like Sinead O’Connor’s haircut, then you’d better stay away, because every guy on the course has the same stylist.

We ran into golfer Art Kroell of Camarillo, retired from the Air Force, and asked him what he thought of Sinead’s hairstyle.

“I’m not sure who she is,” he said. “I don’t keep up with the young stuff anymore. I have a hard enough time keeping up with breathing. I’d play golf with her, though. I’d play golf with anybody.”

Private Courses

* Las Posas Country Club, 955 Fairway Drive, Camarillo 93010. Full membership costs $35,000 , with dues of $225 per month. (805) 482-4518.

The course was built in 1958. Now it’s the home course for touring pro Corey Pavin, so there is always hope that some of his big-money shots will rub off. But don’t count on it.

Or maybe you will become a faster player. On April Fool’s Day a massive group of golfers intent on breaking a world record tried to play the fastest round of golf ever played by a team. The record is 9 minutes and 51 seconds. They didn’t come close.

It’s not a good course to try such a record. Out-of-bounds stakes are on every hole. A good round of golf can quickly go bad because the course is narrow.

All the holes wind around the Las Posas Estates and are part of someone’s back yard. Keep this in mind while looking for a lost ball.

* North Ranch Country Club, 4761 Valley Spring Drive, Westlake Village 91362. A full membership will set you back $68,000 in addition to monthly dues of $350. (805) 496-1995 or (818) 889-9421.

If there is truth in the old cliche saying “Variety is the spice of life,” this course gives its members the whole spice rack.

It’s a collection of three nine-hole courses called the Valley, Oaks and Lakes. The Valley and Oaks courses were built in 1976 and the Lakes nine was added three years ago. A golfer couldn’t ask for much more.

The Valley nine has a couple of the most brutal par-fours in the county. And the course designer thought it would be a kick to leave a stray oak tree or two smack-dab in the middle of a few fairways.

The Oaks course winds its way around a barranca. The holes are narrow and tricky. While some courses look as if they were dug out of the earth, this one appears to have been built right into its contours. The 1988 NCAA National Golf Championships were held at North Ranch. Nobody broke par.

The Lakes nine is completely different than the other two. It’s wide open and longer. You may think it’s easier because of the wide-open spaces, especially after the other 18 holes had you confined between hills, barrancas and about a million oak trees. Guess again. The 239-yard par-three No. 8 may drive you to drink. Not only is it a monumental poke to the green, but there’s also a beautiful lake with cascading waterfalls sitting in front of the green.

Wandering around on the course are members Bruce Jenner, Frankie Avalon and heavy-metal drummer Tommy Lee of Motley Crue.

Unfortunately for Tommy, they probably won’t let him wear that MTV T-shirt and cutoff sweat pants, so maybe he’ll be appearing in his next video sporting day-glow polyester golf pants.

* Saticoy Country Club, 4450 N. Clubhouse Drive, Camarillo 93010. A membership costs $55,000 and monthly fees run $225. (805) 485-5216.

One of the most challenging golf courses in California is one most people have never even heard of. The club originated in 1921 but has been at its current site only since 1964.

It has a slope rating (a way of measuring difficulty) of 140 from the championship tees. Not too many courses have a rating that high.

“Our slope rating puts us in the top courses in Southern California, if not the whole West,” said head pro Lee Martin. “Only two people have broken par in a 36-hole tournament in the course’s history.”

Why is the course such a secret?

“We’re hidden,” Martin said. “When you drive from L.A. and come over the Conejo Grade, it’s just like going from New York to Iowa.”

It’s a course with no weak holes, designed in the old style--no tricks, just a straightforward layout that forces you to hit the ball well or end up in a bunker or in the trees. It also offers one of the most dramatic-looking holes in the county. The par-three 178-yard No. 10 hole has a tee box that sits close to 200 feet above the green. It’s fronted by a lake, two sand bunkers and palm trees, which you look down on. When the wind blows, it is quite intimidating.

Sherwood Country Club may be the most incredible course in the county, but Saticoy is a tougher test of a golfer’s ability. And it is enjoyable at the same time.

* Sherwood Country Club, 320 W. Stafford Road, Thousand Oaks 91361. Membership is $150,000 with an annual fee of $6,000. Plus local members are required to buy a chunk of real estate bordering the course. Lots start in the neighborhood of $1 million. (805) 496-3036.

Sherwood Country Club may be the most beautiful, elegant spot anywhere in the 805 area code.

“It’s a first-class golf course,” said associate pro Gary Davis. “There is nothing better. It should be rated as one of the top 100 in the world without a doubt. It has already been rated by various people as the top course in Southern California.”

Much has been written about the big, big money that was spent by David H. Murdock to build this elite Jack Nicklaus-designed golf course. It opened in October, 1989, yet it looks 100 years old.

Even the tee markers are special. They are hand-carved archers that cost $250 a pop. There are eight per hole. That’s $43,200 just for tee-box markers.

But the true beauty of the course is that it is delightful play at any level. There is room enough to play it safe on any hole, but there is danger lurking everywhere in the form of water hazards, sand bunkers and large oak trees. And, according to Davis, it has one of the greatest finishing holes in golf.

It’s one of the few courses that carries a stable of full-time caddies to lug your bag around and give you advice. It also has bent grass on all the fairways and tee boxes. It gives it the look of carpet. It’s so nice that you start looking around for the “keep off the grass” signs. Taking a divot can give you a guilt complex.

The biggest problem with the course is that you will probably never get to play it, unless you have a money factory in your basement.

Wayne Gretzky’s a member. But then, he can afford to spend more than $400,000 on a baseball card.

* Sunset Hills Country Club, 4155 Erbes Road, Thousand Oaks 91360. Full membership is $15,000 , with $200 monthly dues. (805) 523-7594.

The course was built in 1968 as an executive course and revamped in the early 1970s as a championship course. It is short and fairly narrow with most of the holes running downhill. It’s fun to play and delightful to look at, but none of the holes are so difficult or mind-bending that you’ll be looking for the drink cart.

While the course may be pleasing to the eyes, the ears are not as well-served. Busy Olsen Road and California 23 border the course. By the time you reach the 15th hole, you’ll be ready to hit a line drive at the guy doing laps around the course on a motorcycle with muffler problems. Since there is no driving range, this may be the only practice you get.

If you’re looking for excitement, hang out at the golf cart tunnel that runs under Olsen Road between holes No. 11 and 12. It has a semi-blind curve that is sure to produce a head-on collision between two kamikaze golfers.

* Wood Ranch Golf Club, 301 Wood Ranch Parkway, Simi Valley 93065. Membership is $25,000 , with dues of $310 a month. (805) 527-9663.

The management of this five-year old facility doesn’t like to show its course off to interested golfers. Are they embarrassed of what they have to offer? Maybe they just rank high on the snob-o-meter.

As Director of Golf Angus MacKenzie said: “We don’t let outsiders play.”

They may have an attitude, and so does the course. With a slope rating of 141 from the championship tees, it is tough and exciting to play. From the tournament tees it has a 151 slope rating. It then becomes so difficult that they will only allow players with a single-digit handicap to play.

The major problem is the wind. It is always a factor here, and that multiplies the difficulty. The Senior PGA event was originally held at Wood Ranch. After much grousing by players, it was moved to the Ojai Valley Inn.

The holes zigzag back and forth around a horde of hazards. This course has more potential for lost balls then any other in the county. The biggest ball-eater is the mass of tall weeds that lines the rough.

This is a course every serious golfer should experience because it is a definite test of skill, mettle and ball-finding ability.

Future Course

* Spanish Hills Golf & Country Club in west Camarillo. Membership is $55,000 and up , plus $375 monthly fees. And you have to buy a house for $475,000 minimum. Under construction. (800) 777-1411.

The course has been designed by Robert Cupp, a Jack Nicklaus disciple. Cupp also is doing the redesign of the Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia. This is his first California course.