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SDG&E; SAN DIEGO--Will it come to this?

Imagine driving down Interstate 5 and coming upon a city limits sign that reads: “San Diego, brought to you by Hostess Cupcakes.” Coming west on Interstate 8 from Arizona, you would probably see: “San Diego, brought to you by Zonie Neon Apparel.”

Everything is for sale . . . or sponsorship.

PSA goes out of business so now it’s the Southwest Airlines Tower at Sea World. The twist here is that it is no longer the Sea World Holiday Bowl, but rather the Thrifty Car Rental Holiday Bowl.

Nothing, however, seems to be bought and sold more often than the PGA tournament at Torrey Pines, which has not, of course, always been played at Torrey Pines. Homes do not turn over this often. About the only thing hereabouts that changes more often is the Padre roster.

What we have now is the Buick Invitational of California.

Ta da!

It all started in 1952 as the San Diego Open, a stupidly appropriate title for an open played at the San Diego Country Club.

The site has since changed to the Rancho Santa Fe Golf Course, Mission Valley Country Club, Singing Hills Golf Course, back to Mission Valley, Stardust Country Club, Rancho Bernardo Country Club, back to Stardust and finally Torrey Pines to stay in 1968.

To stay?

Not exactly. Torrey Pines will not last because the pros, who should be happy playing in a landfill for the money they make, do not like the wear and tear the municipal layout gets. They prefer a club that gets played lightly by 73-year-old multimillionaires.

Site changes are not bothersome, however. The biggest tournaments, for example, are played different places every year. Name changes tamper with historic perspective.

What was it Jack Nicklaus won in 1969?

Hmmm, San Diego golf trivia. Nicklaus won the Andy Williams San Diego Open.

Two years earlier, Bob Goalby won the San Diego Open Invitational. Tommy Bolt won the San Diego Open in 1953, but won the Convair-San Diego Open in 1955.

You just can’t tell the tournament without a scorecard.

The 1980s brought the ultimate silliness. It became the Wickes-Andy Williams San Diego Open in 1981, the Isuzu-Andy Williams Open in 1983 and the Shearson Lehman Brothers Andy Williams Open in 1986.

We pause here momentarily to consider what suddenly disappeared.

San Diego.

Sold . . . to the gentlemen with the three-piece suits.

And Andy Williams, who has not had a hit song since woods were made of wood, stuck on the marquee.

Williams made the cut again in 1988 when the name was changed yet again to the Shearson Lehman Hutton Andy Williams Open, but his time was about up. He disappeared in 1989 when it became the Shearson Lehman Hutton Open.

At this point, this tournament went generic. It was no different, nor more identifiable, than the Honda Classic or USF&G; Classic or Independent Insurance Agent Open or Deposit Guaranty Golf Classic. Anyone who can tell me where those four tournaments are played wins a Centel Western Open visor, if you can find the Centel Western Open.

I’d like to be the stationery vendor for the PGA Tour. These babies are bought and sold more often than Cher changes clothes.

And so we now have . . . the Buick Invitational of California.

Thus, California has been able to expand its athletic holdings to include the Angels and the Buick Invitational.

What’s more, Buick expands its PGA Tour stops to include the Buick Classic, Buick Open, Buick Southern Open and now the Buick Invitational.

Got any idea where those other Buick tournaments are played? I don’t, and I don’t care enough to look them up.

Buick, it seems, has taken to seriously collecting golf tournaments. It may not stop until it gets one for each dealership.

And why stop at golf?

We could have the Buick Sockers, for example. That would be a nice gesture of civic generosity. Just be sure to keep them here, even though no one will really know where here is.

Unfortunately, there is little in the way of civic sensibility and pride when it comes to naming stops on the PGA Tour.

How simple would it have been to call this the Buick Invitational of San Diego?

It would have been perfect. Buick would have gotten its little promotional nudge and San Diego would get a feeling of identity.

Maybe it’s better this way. We know where here is, and we don’t want here to get any more crowded than it is. Go ahead and give the damned thing to California, but tell ‘em it’s being played in Paso Robles.

By the way, the newsprint under these words was sponsored by Cito’s Janitorial Service Corp.