A Howl in the Distance

Coyotes are not the most elegant of God’s creatures, slinking around in the middle of the night looking for garbage to paw through or cats to eat. And yet they have somehow managed to gather a support group more dedicated than those created for unwed mothers or endangered police chiefs.

Never has this been more obvious than during the current debate over whether or not L.A. should continue using steel-jawed leg hold devices to trap coyotes that intrude on suburban areas now occupied by us humans.

Forget that we’re intruding on their territory. That doesn’t count. We’re bigger, stronger, meaner and have the National Rifle Assn. on our side.

As the U.S. Cavalry once explained to the American Indian, he intrudes best who intrudes last.

I have been lobbied recently by many coyote lovers, and I don’t mean those who only dabble in animal conservation between acting jobs. The town is full of people in show biz who, limited by an inability to perceive more complicated issues, are otherwise able to shout “Save the animals!” without actually having to understand why or how.

At any rate, those seriously fighting the use of steel-jawed leg hold traps are moving closer to our doorsteps, much as the coyote itself is skulking ever-increasingly into our back yards.

Among the more militant activists involved in the debate is one whose support of the animal is so fierce that she is referred to as the Coyote Lady. Her name is Lila Brooks, and never has Mr. Coyote had such a friend.

As director of the Hollywood-based California Wildlife Defenders, Brooks is credited with four laws regarding the aforementioned coyote traps, including a prohibition of their use in the unincorporated areas of L.A.

Thanks to the Coyote Lady howling her point, the county now uses walk-in box traps. Brooks convinced the Board of Supervisors that it was more humane to box the animals than to clamp steel teeth on their legs.

The coyotes, by the way, are killed later no matter how they’re caught, but that’s not the issue. The idea is to keep them comfortable, not alive.

I asked Lady Coyote the other day why there is so much animosity directed toward an animal whose damage is usually limited to a masticated cat. A coyote, for instance, doesn’t hold up liquor stores and has never participated in a drive-by shooting.

Brooks is one of those people who manages to speak for several minutes without drawing a breath and never ever uses punctuation if you get my meaning because they slow her down see? I edit her into brevity for the sake of communicating.

“People have a hang-up about coyotes,” she said on the telephone.

She was too busy to see me in person, she explained, due to prior commitments to other members of the media who have apparently been pursuing her like wild dogs after a wounded gazelle. Her schedule has been so tight, she said, that she hadn’t eaten for a day and a half.

I promised I would be brief. I’m not positive a hungry coyote activist poses any threat to children and small animals, but I’m not willing to take that risk.

“We have an innate prejudice against predators, because the human race considers itself the master predator,” Brooks said. “It goes back to the caveman. We’re still competing for prey, and the coyote represents competition.”

Those who argue in favor of the steel-jawed traps contend that the box traps are ineffective. Wiley Lila says box traps can work if the right bait is used.

“They used chickens for bait,” she said, dismissing the argument. “Coyotes are too smart to be trapped by a chicken. They need a sex lure. It’s an extract from coyote glands. I don’t know how they do that.”

“I don’t know either,” I said, intrigued by the notion.

Brooks thought they manufactured such a lure in Arizona. I would have guessed Las Vegas.

“The point is,” she said, “the traps are not only cruel to the animals but dangerous to children and pets. The city uses padded traps, but they still do damage.”

Councilman Nate Holden, who is pro-steel trap, set one off on his hand to show it was harmless. To everyone’s surprise, he didn’t have to chew off his hand to free himself.

“It was a doctored trap,” Brooks insists. “I tried to get him to try one of mine, but he wouldn’t.”

I don’t like seeing anything uselessly killed. The coyotes, at least, eat the cats they capture. We don’t eat the coyotes.

But there are 5,000 coyotes in L.A. and I suppose something ought to be done to keep them out of suburbia. If shooting is the only way, I have an idea to add to their final comfort. Spray the poor beasts with sex lure before killing them, and at least they’ll think they’re on their way to heaven.