Keep It Simple, Silly : Expert advice: The food pros agree: When cooking to impress, take it easy. But sometimes even they have trouble following their own instructions.

After her first cookbook, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” was published, Julia Child had James Beard to lunch. And she cooked the worst meal of her life.

Except for the hors d’oeuvres, “nothing else was right,” she wrote to Simone (Simca) Beck, her friend and cookbook collaborator.

“Not even the coffee, which tasted of jus de chaussettes (sock juice),” said the letter dated Sept. 30, 1962, which is part of the collection of letters, papers and food files she donated to the Schlesinger Library at Radcliffe College. “The veal dish . . . wasn’t very good; and the broccoli wasn’t hot enough.” The potatoes weren’t quite right and she called the chocolate dessert “awful.”

Could this be the same Julia who taught millions of Americans the complexities of French cooking? The same Julia who remained calm even as her Hollandaise sauce curdled in front of millions of TV viewers?

It was, and still is. Child still gets nervous when she makes a meal for someone she really cares about, she admitted in a recent telephone interview.

Child is not alone. Other food pros--cookbook authors, chefs, even cooking teachers and caterers--tell tales of high anxiety when they try to impress a new boyfriend, a special colleague or friend, the soon-to-be-mother-in-law, with a special meal.

It was tension that overcooked the chicken, made mush of the vegetables and caused the rice to “taste like chewing gum,” said cookbook author Lori Longbotham the first time she made dinner for a beau.

Her “no-frills” boyfriend thought the meal was just fine, but Longbotham spent the rest of the night apologizing, doing, she said, “what every magazine and cooking teacher tells you never, ever to do.”

She apologized for the rice (“this never happened before”), the chicken (“something is wrong with the oven”) and the vegetables (“they should have been crunchier”). And when the temperature on the night of the dinner hit close to 100 degrees, the stressed-out Longbotham apologized for the heat as well.

The one bit of expert advice Longbotham did follow is that she kept the meal simple.

Not so cooking teacher Stephen Schmidt, who encourages simplicity in his “cooking to entertain” classes at the New School’s Culinary Arts Program in New York. He ignored his own advice for the dinner he prepared two years ago for Child and her husband.

Knowing that Child loves duck, he was determined to make a duck dish extraordinaire. So, ignoring another important rule--never to experiment when cooking to impress--Schmidt chose a new recipe from a prestigious cookbook, known for its intricate recipes, rather than one of the many delicious, “never fail” duck recipes he had prepared many times before.

Schmidt cooked for three days straight, he said.

“The dish was fine and she ate every bit,” but had he used one of his own recipes, “the results would have been equally good with far less agony.” For three days, Schmidt made stock. He carted carcasses and vegetables into his apartment for “boiling, reducing and simmering,” he said.

“I tell people never to do anything that gets them tired and tuckered out,” Child said recently. Moreover, she added, stick to the basics. “Most guests feel more comfortable when they know what they are eating.”

Todd Kalkstein, a sous-chef at Gardner Merchant, an executive food-service company, knows the importance of cooking what guests like to eat, having recently prepared dozens of hot dogs and batches of homemade fries for the Little League team he coaches. Yet most of us wouldn’t dream of serving such simple pleasures. Maybe, speculated one psychologist, because cooking an elaborate meal often is seen as an indicator of competence.

Also, “when you do something fancy and grand, it indicates that you care,” said Margaret Clark, a professor of psychology at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh.

But cooking to impress, say the experts, means being well organized and “not getting in over your head.”

“Cook simple and enjoy your guests,” Child advised.

Do what you can in advance; do only what you know will work, suggests Gary Goldberg, director of the New School Culinary Arts Program. Make-ahead foods that need just last-minute touches are ideal company fare, but double-check that all ingredients needed to garnish are in the house.

Serve an elegant cold first course--a country pate, a seafood mousse, a roasted vegetable terrine. While such dishes are time-consuming to prepare, they can be made in advance, said Goldberg. Less fussy, but just as impressive, are garlic toasts topped with mozzarella, a dab of pesto and a basil leaf, said Mary Ann Schweiger, test-kitchen director at Lewis & Neale, a New York public-relations firm.

How the food looks is very important, Schweiger adds, “because people are delighted when they feel fussed over.”

A simple salad can become elegant fare by the addition of slices of roast duck at the last minute, said Goldberg. Or serve a salad of mesclun, the mix of wild baby greens that often comes packaged with edible flowers; it’s so impressive, he said.

Balance the menu, said Georgia Downard, a food consultant and stylist. Plan for a lighter entree if the first course is robust. Say you serve a risotto for the appetizer, serve a simple broiled lemon sole or red snapper fillet for the main dish.

Take the season into account, she added. Right now, berries dazzle--strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries. Serve them with a citrus sorbet and a platter of cookies--either from a wonderful bakery or home-baked. Dainty cookies--madeleines, meringues, chocolate chip, butter or tart lemon--are always a hit.

Goldberg, who sets his table a day in advance of a special meal, advises the “nervous” to even make the entree a day or two before the party. “The flavors in a lamb or beef stew, for example, improve after a few days.”

With all that out of the way, “you can then dedicate your energies to enjoying your guests,” Goldberg said.

And no matter what you think may have gone wrong, follow the ultimate advice from the unflappable Child: “Serve with a smile and struggle on.”