Shark Sighting

Myron’s Ballroom lives. After housing Vertigo’s first incarnation and then those sweaty Chippendales dancers, this downtown space at Grand and Olympic is giving life to the Shark Club, a technologically advanced restaurant/nightclub/entertainment complex due to open this week. It’s an offshoot of the Shark Club in Las Vegas and promises a sophisticated sound and lighting system, live concerts, bars, restaurants and drive-time parties for commuters waiting to hit the freeways. (The club’s official grand opening Friday is a benefit for ECO--Earth Communications Office.) According to club consultant Charles Snow, “This has a very distinctive footprint. . . . We’re not looking to be trendy, we won’t pick and choose who comes in. . . . People aren’t paying to compete in a style show.”

What a Novel Concept for L. A. . . .

A panhandler was working a tough crowd: entertainment industry types walking down Hollywood Boulevard on their way to see the premiere of “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey,” jaded types who have heard it all. As a white rat crawled across his shoulder blades, he called out to passersby: “Do you have any spare change so I can feed my pet rat?”

Essentials

What you need to maneuver the L. A. scene: coffeehouse accessories. If you’re going to hang solo at one of the city’s myriad coffeehouses, here are some suggestions for busying yourself appropriately.

* Any book by Sartre, Proust, Hesse or, if you’re male, Robert Bly or Sam Keen. Remember to turn the pages occasionally so people will think you’re actually reading. Furrow your brow a lot.

* Gauloises cigarettes. Don’t smoke them, of course, just light one up and let it sit there. If someone asks you to put it out, curse under your breath in French.

* Journal/sketch pad. You’ll feel so gosh darn European as you record your every trivial thought in a well-worn journal. If you’re at all artistically inclined, sketch instead. If anyone asks to see what you’re drawing, glare threateningly.