You know you’re hot when . ....

You know you’re hot when . . .

Ron Smith Celebrity Look-Alikes in Hollywood, which supplies characters for commercials and bit movie roles, announced it’s looking for people who resemble Boris Yeltsin.

The folks who brought you Gorbachocolate ice cream, meanwhile, are wondering what to concoct for an encore. Glendale-based Baskin-Robbins, which has five shops in Moscow, says a Denver franchisee has already come up with one suggestion:

Yeltcinnamon.

What could be more American than batting around a beach ball at a baseball game? Or, rather, what could be more L.A.?

Dodger Stadium, whose ushers receive several hours of training in beach ball chasing, beach ball catching and beach ball puncturing, will not be so happy to hear about the following ad, sent to us by Bruce Jagarosovich of Culver City:

99-Cents-Only Stores are offering a free beach ball to the first 99 customers who bring in a Dodger ticket stub.

Looks as though the team may have to call up some additional ushers from its Albuquerque farm club.

Speaking of things L.A.--unstable land, in this case--Bob McJones’ house sits on three shipping containers in Rancho Palos Verdes. That’s because it’s in the middle of the Portuguese Bend landslide, now in its 35th year.

The house has dropped five feet since McJones bought it for $10,000 in 1975 at a damaged goods sale. A semi-retired engineer, he set it on the containers, which can be jacked up or down separately to keep the house level. “It’s no harder,” he said, “than changing a tire on your car.” A new definition of mobile home.

Metro Traffic Control reporter Michael McDermott says he can’t decide who’s more deserving of the the Nightmare Freeway Experience of the Day: (1) the driver on the Santa Monica Freeway whose engine fell out after he ran over a fallen ladder, or (2) the driver who was changing a flat tire on the shoulder of the Hollywood Freeway only to have the new tire roll across four lanes of traffic and come to a stop on the center divider.

One can only hope it wasn’t the same person.

One member of the Baldwin Park Police Department who’s not responsible for keeping his badge shiny is Officer Kevin Kirkman’s partner, King (see photo).

Why’s everyone picking on San Pedro? First, a computer ad in Infoworld magazine refers to the unassuming port as San Pablo . Now, reader Richard Creamer points out that the cover map for Pacific Bell’s local Business to Business directory shows the Harbor Freeway (110) dead-ending at Pacific Coast Highway. Actually, it extends southward into San Pablo. That’s Pac Bell’s Smart Pages, by the way.

miscelLAny:

On a percentage basis, Inglewood ranks No. 3 in the state in auto thefts, according to the 1991 California Almanac, followed by L.A. (No. 4), West Covina (No. 9), El Monte (No. 10) and Long Beach (No. 12). The leader: San Diego.